It's been some time since I've written. It seems the urge comes during times like these. I have a paper due in two days where I still have about 6 of the OT prophetical books to summarize and here I sit. I really do miss journaling. I've had so much happen that I could write a book.
Not long ago we had a seminary fair on campus and as I consider where I would go if the Lord wills, I continue to lean toward The Master's Seminary (http://www.tms.edu/). As I focus on Biblical Exposition here at Moody, I believe my graduate work should be focused on Biblical Counseling. As a pastor I want to be able to preach well and be a shepherd well and while I know much will continue to come with experience, I believe a focus on counseling next would be appropriate. I'm confident now more than ever that God would have me in a pastoral role. While I don't know where or in what capacity, I believe God has continued to affirm this. This morning in our retirement home ministry at Concord Place, it hit me that a women in the small congregation our group has really grown in her walk through the Lord using our ministry. A woman who used to interrupt the preacher and correct the worship team after every service has become a woman who asks us to thank God for all the He provides during prayer time, who helps pick up the hymnbooks after the service, and who told us she shared Christ with someone this past week. She may not be perfect, but neither are we.
A woman who believed God spoke to her through a message I gave felt that she needed to reach out with the gospel to others in her retirement home community and handed out almost 100 tracts in one week. If one woman who can barely move in a wheelchair can do that... what does that say about us? We had the opportunity recently to visit some of the residents in their rooms. Norma was the woman who used the tracts. I love her so much. Her and her roommate Algie are the funniest. Algie was a secretary at Moody for about 40 years. Norma once asked us what we thought of Joel Osteen. She said she just "itches" every time he comes on and she wished he would "just open the Bible and study it." She said Algie needed to exercise or she would just sit there and "get FAT." We've really enjoyed these people. I'll be praying about whether or not God wants me to stay in that ministry next semester. Currently I plan to switch to Student Outreach. I know the leadership will need some help next semester and I really miss being out on the frontlines seeking the lost.
Last night about 9 of us went out to the Chicago Festival of Lights in the usual general area the group goes to witness. I hadn't preached in some time so my voice has been a bit deep today. It was pretty cold, but we still spent about 1 1/2 hours out there. Once Matthew and I started preaching the crowds came. We had plenty of teens listening and even a group from a local church who came over to encourage us. For the first time I was heckled from the balcony of a building. They kept yelling "shut up!" To which I responded that some people will shut up on judgment day because their knees will be bowing and tongues confessing that Jesus Christ is Lord. The hecklers helped further the gospel as they often do because the tracts were flooding out of the hands of the students. Apparently each open air sermon provided opportunities for excellent conversations as well. Matthew is coming along well. I began mentoring him last semester and helping him channel the zeal. I remember the first time he ever stood on a stool and read a passage of Scripture out loud to open up for me... he still had some mild mockers even though he was reading Scripture. God's Word brings many reactions... may it bring a reaction of change in people's hearts. But yeah, it looks like Matthew has found his proper volume, anunciates his words well, and even had an engaging and interesting springboard. He tells stories well. Here's one of the videos from that night. Sorry we didn't get the hecklers on film...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guOxVwTd1Is
Meanwhile Nick who I've been mentoring when I return home to Texas is following the same path I did a couple years ago. He's started burning copies of Hell's Best Secret and visiting local churches to hand them out to the youth groups and pastors. Nick is still in high school and he often calls me to tell of his evangelistic efforts in the school. I praise God so much for him. Often I wish I was saved back in high school, but in a way... Nick is reaching those I never got a chance to reach. While we're talking about different high schools, I rejoice that God saves people into such legally closed environments to be witnesses for His truth.
The past couple weeks God has also continued to draw me closer to Himself. My devotional life is better than what it was and God has been providing for me. It's been so difficult to have faith. The other day I called my dad who reminded me of a life insurance policy I'd forgotten I had that he suggested I cash out to help pay for school. I'm continuing to pray about that as it seems to have come at just the time I was beginning to get worried about what the future would hold. The numbers currently say that I will run out of money by the end of next semester. This insurance money may be the Lord's provision. As the economy seems to be not doing well and my has to pay the employees with his credit card, I have to trust God that He will provide for my school payments if He wants me to be here. I'll be applying at a couple campus jobs for next semester that pay more than what I'm currently making. We'll see what God does.
Tonight a few of us from my Intro level evangelism and discipleship class did a project. It was a "Servant Evangelism" project. The professor has been better than I expected in that he makes points like he doesn't really like calling the project Servant Evangelism, because the point of it is not necessarily evangelism. On the same note, when we interact with lost people... I can't help but remember Paul's words in 1 Cor. 9:16, "...woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" As a buddy of mine on campus says, "if we focus on Jesus we will begin to have His heart for the lost." While I'm not promoting legalistic motivations that force us every single time we're within 4 feet of someone to attempt to witness to them, I do think if we're going out to interact with the lost and letting them know in any way that we are Christians... we should not leave Christs' gospel out of our encounter. I must admit it broke my heart to hear that we shouldn't hand out tracts just because we didn't plan to stick around and have a conversation to go along with them. The nature of what we were doing and the places to which we went weren't all good for conversations. I'm just horrified at the thought that at the chance to either share the gospel in some format or not share it at all... that we would choose to not share it at all. I handed out two tracts, but I can't help but wonder how many of those restaurant employees will taste those freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from Moody Bible Institute students and still one day taste spiritual death in a lake of fire. Oh Lord may we see the harvest, get up off the porch, and be the laborers you have called us to be.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Life as I know it. Calling Confirmed?
God has taught me much this semester already. It's hard to believe some students are already studying for midterm exams. Recently a friend was stopped as they realized they've been here at school for nearly a year already. God has shown me my heart in more ways than one. It's said of the missionary David Brainerd that he was so depressed and so discouraged that his flesh came out to the point that his "self-pre-occupation was so intense that his Indian charges and their problems figured as little more than intrusions." In other words, those who he was ministering to became more of an annoyance than anything else. God has shown me here that my brothers and sisters around me have become the same way way... particularly when I'v been overwhlemed. God has so convicted me of that in these few short months. My roommate has asked for accountability, friendships are not what they were, and my mental noise would sometimes be dangerous if spoken aloud. The Lord is good however and gracious.
Classes are going as well as they can I suppose, but never to my desire. The jury is still out on whether or not all the work I did over the summer and in the first two weeks of the semester was really worth the burnout it caused. Things seem to be hit and miss. Much of my is spent on greek only for the majority of my grades to return quite low. It's not easy to remind myself that grades aren't everything. I WANT to be effective in future ministry and do well in school. I'm confident in my Greek exam grade though... whenever the prof is able to grade it. The preaching class from here out will be nothing but students preaching and us evaluating. I've made plans to open up some room the two weeks prior to my sermon to work hard on it. We'll see what happens however. Next week is Missions Conference. I've outlined which sessions most interest me. As I continue to consider how exactly god may desire to use me in future ministry, I've come to a realization of sorts. My personality is not prone to like new environments and change. Nor is it easy for me to reserve judgment on different ways of doing things. These two factors would require a major heart change and very specific growth for me to consider a future in Pastoral Missions as I was praying about not long ago. Bearing that in mind, at this moment I'm leaving that to God and have chosen to lean more toward local Pastoral work as I believe I was originally led to do.
One of the clearest affirmations in this direction came as a fellow student in my practical ministry preaching at the retirement home said to me, "I could see you pastoring a church. I don't know that I could've said that at the beginning of last semester." I struggle to remain faithful to God in ways. I struggle with my thoughts in all directions. I struggle with trusting Him sacrificially. It's difficult to step off the cliff of life into the chasm of God's sovereignty. I remember now however it's each time I have done that... that God has really moved in tangible and clear ways. We had a seminary fair here yesterday where about 40 schools were represented. As I considered what they offered and spoke to many of them, I'm looking at an M.A. in Biblical Counseling. Why? Because if I'm able through my experience here to accurately handle the Word of God, another major element I'll need is to be able to shepherd those God places under me. These will be real people with real needs and real hurts that at present I can't say I'm able to confidently address. I want to be a pastor who can fulfill the full sense of "pastor" to God's people. I want to see people grow.
Evangelism has been short here but as often as I can. The 3rd Season of Way of The Master came in the mail Monday and I'm holding a viewing night for the first two episodes tomorrow at 9pm. I'll be praying God uses it to plant seeds for active and intentional evangelism on this campus. Is revival too much to ask for? Last night we had a security guard tell us we needed a permit to preach on the sidewalk in front of a mall. He said the city passed an ordinance that could lead to a $500 fine. I told him the police officers on the horses didn't seem to have a problem with us... he said they and the ones on foot were different. I was laughing rather hard inside... only to later find out that two them walked in front of us in the middle of my preaching. We ignored him and God was good to us with no further disruptions.
Work has been alright. I'm in the transition period. This week I decided to take it easy. I've worked one day catering and next day to work is Saturday. It turns out I accidentially bought a woman's tuxedo jacket. Needless to say, I have the right one now. I can't call to ask for more days until Monday. But it's Missions conference next week... do I want any more days?
Honest thoughts:
God is good, but I face the daily struggle as to if I'm really giving Him my best. Am I giving those around me my best? What will come of this impending financial crisis on our country? How will that affect the financial stability of Moody and my father's financial support?
Classes are going as well as they can I suppose, but never to my desire. The jury is still out on whether or not all the work I did over the summer and in the first two weeks of the semester was really worth the burnout it caused. Things seem to be hit and miss. Much of my is spent on greek only for the majority of my grades to return quite low. It's not easy to remind myself that grades aren't everything. I WANT to be effective in future ministry and do well in school. I'm confident in my Greek exam grade though... whenever the prof is able to grade it. The preaching class from here out will be nothing but students preaching and us evaluating. I've made plans to open up some room the two weeks prior to my sermon to work hard on it. We'll see what happens however. Next week is Missions Conference. I've outlined which sessions most interest me. As I continue to consider how exactly god may desire to use me in future ministry, I've come to a realization of sorts. My personality is not prone to like new environments and change. Nor is it easy for me to reserve judgment on different ways of doing things. These two factors would require a major heart change and very specific growth for me to consider a future in Pastoral Missions as I was praying about not long ago. Bearing that in mind, at this moment I'm leaving that to God and have chosen to lean more toward local Pastoral work as I believe I was originally led to do.
One of the clearest affirmations in this direction came as a fellow student in my practical ministry preaching at the retirement home said to me, "I could see you pastoring a church. I don't know that I could've said that at the beginning of last semester." I struggle to remain faithful to God in ways. I struggle with my thoughts in all directions. I struggle with trusting Him sacrificially. It's difficult to step off the cliff of life into the chasm of God's sovereignty. I remember now however it's each time I have done that... that God has really moved in tangible and clear ways. We had a seminary fair here yesterday where about 40 schools were represented. As I considered what they offered and spoke to many of them, I'm looking at an M.A. in Biblical Counseling. Why? Because if I'm able through my experience here to accurately handle the Word of God, another major element I'll need is to be able to shepherd those God places under me. These will be real people with real needs and real hurts that at present I can't say I'm able to confidently address. I want to be a pastor who can fulfill the full sense of "pastor" to God's people. I want to see people grow.
Evangelism has been short here but as often as I can. The 3rd Season of Way of The Master came in the mail Monday and I'm holding a viewing night for the first two episodes tomorrow at 9pm. I'll be praying God uses it to plant seeds for active and intentional evangelism on this campus. Is revival too much to ask for? Last night we had a security guard tell us we needed a permit to preach on the sidewalk in front of a mall. He said the city passed an ordinance that could lead to a $500 fine. I told him the police officers on the horses didn't seem to have a problem with us... he said they and the ones on foot were different. I was laughing rather hard inside... only to later find out that two them walked in front of us in the middle of my preaching. We ignored him and God was good to us with no further disruptions.
Work has been alright. I'm in the transition period. This week I decided to take it easy. I've worked one day catering and next day to work is Saturday. It turns out I accidentially bought a woman's tuxedo jacket. Needless to say, I have the right one now. I can't call to ask for more days until Monday. But it's Missions conference next week... do I want any more days?
Honest thoughts:
God is good, but I face the daily struggle as to if I'm really giving Him my best. Am I giving those around me my best? What will come of this impending financial crisis on our country? How will that affect the financial stability of Moody and my father's financial support?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Burnout
Spent too much time shopping yesterday for a work uniform. Spent too much time socializing last night. I've had less than 5 hours of sleep. Skipped chapel. Skipped Old Testament. I have a major paper due Thursday... of which I have about 30% done. I have a Greek quiz in under 2 hours... of which I'm hardly confident. I work tonight. Got a short paper due Wednesday morning. Lord... I'm silent before you. Nothing I seem to do is enough. I can't stay up like I used to. I can't push the envelope like before. I'm drowning. I don't even know what a time of rest looks like anymore. I am a zombie.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The Laments of a Street Preacher in Bible College
general stuff:
Classes have been rather intensive this semester. The thought of not having prepared over the summer only makes me shudder. I can't sit on it too long. That's done and over... time to deal with the now. The now is that I see 4 days a week of work (24 hours-the school's max) will likely be too much. I'll be working one less day a week beginning next week. That would equal about 2-3 hours per week less than last semester. Lord please provide! This semester has brought a lot of reading with it. Nearly all of the textbooks are required reading by the end of the semester... some of them have deadlines and/or accompanying book reports. Currently I have a majority of the reading done for this semester, but will it be enough? The amount of reading I've done has caused my roommate to be concerned that I may be approaching burnout. He is conspiring to capture and drag me off to a social event. His sincere efforts may not be kindly welcomed. For those who believe Bible college will be a paradise of studying the Bible, worship, fellowship, and an almost sure bet to find your soulmate amongst the fish in the pond of believers... wake up :).
I find myself struggling in the amount of study and preparation I put into my ministry at the retirement home. The work ethic in me and care for the people desires to give them the best I can. What does that look like though? Last semester it took anywhere from 6-10 hours a week to prepare a sermon I was somewhat satisfied with. Can I even do that this semester? I'm studying Greek and doing its' homework nearly every day and that's just to keep up! I can go on and on... there's never nothing to do here! Now that that's off my chest... I do know that I get what I bargained for... I know that ministry won't be easy and training for ministry won't be easy either. The time struggles are real. The financial struggles are real. The relational struggles are real. Even the theological struggles can be real (as hopefully we don't accept everything we believe at face value). I tell myself to stop whining but does that help? It doesn't stop what goes on in my head.
Just the other day I read the last portion of Haddon Robinson's Biblical Preaching and was inspired by the fact that God will and chooses to use our ministry regardless of how much we think we have or have not put into it. He explained how amazing it is to see when people approach him after a service and tell him how the message blessed their lives that day when he knows he thought it could have been better or he wanted more time to prepare something. That can only be the Holy Spirit. That's not the first time I've heard a story like that from a pastor. I suppose that's where I should find my rest. God has me here in the exact places I am for His exact purposes. Last Sunday I had a woman tell me about an angry lady on her floor at the retirement home who when people walk by she tries to coax them in and when they refuse... she cusses them out. The woman said she thinks God may be telling her to go in and share the gospel with that lady. I agreed that she should and she was honest in saying, "but I don't want to." If only the average Christian was that honest... maybe we would get somewhere in our obedience to the Word.
Laments:
I laugh inside as I type that word. It seems one of the common things a melancholy does is lament. His laments often occur much more often than the fraction of them made public. Love me or hate me... here ya go... (beep, beep, beep... the sound of the dumptruck raising its load)
A Fransiscan missionary monk, Raymond Lull dedicated his life to preaching the gospel to the Muslim community in 1235 AD. As he traveled to North Africa to witness, it's said one of his tactics was to hold up a copy of the Ten Commandments and announce that the prophet Muhammad had broken each one. Some were saved and some stoned him to death in 1315 (from Introducing World Missions By Scott Moreau). While our goal isn't to be stoned to death... we obviously must recognize the reality and power of the law of God to confront humanity with its' sin and the severity of it.
I sit in my classes this semester related to evangelism and they are as I expected. I knew I would be pulling my hair out and I surely am. These ideas of man-centered evangelism, lifestyle evangelism, and passive "sweet and cuddly" evangelism are causing a fidget fest in my classroom chair. Recently a student said the only way we can reach this postmodern world is to practice the methods of Michael Simpson's Permission Evangelism. This is to act in such a way that you strategically get them to ask you for permission to share your testimony and shy away from discussion of hell or the severity of sin beyond the idea that it "separates us from God." Today in class a professor made a plug for lifestyle evangelism and a quiet girl spoke up in class to eloquently say that a perspective like that often leads her to justify not sharing at all. The professor tried to agree where he could, but soon continued. Another professor spoke of the homeless man he saw regurlary as he walked the streets of Chicago passing the same location. He talked of how he was trying to build a relationship with the man. A student raised his hand to ask, "What if that guy died tomorrow?" I met that student today. He's a fan of Mark Cahill.
What hurts more is to see my fellow students nodd in affirmation, give vocal Christian "mmmm's" in agreement, and walk up after class to express their gratitude in the perspective and philosophy they're learning. Where is our fervor of urgency? Where does the desire we say we have actually meet our methodology? As I continue to meet those of the seemingly small group of students who support intentional evangelism, I praise God yet remain in the dilemma. Lord, these people are going to leave this school and minister to people who will become the next generation of "Christian" hecklers that come up to the believer preaching the truth on the streets and tell him "this isn't the Jesus I know." I could spend all the rest of the night talking about all this, but in fairness I will say one of the teachers did make an important clarification that I will praise him for and share with you... you CAN be relational in evangelism without having a relationship built. Ponder on that... it's one of the good things I've taken from the class.
Classes have been rather intensive this semester. The thought of not having prepared over the summer only makes me shudder. I can't sit on it too long. That's done and over... time to deal with the now. The now is that I see 4 days a week of work (24 hours-the school's max) will likely be too much. I'll be working one less day a week beginning next week. That would equal about 2-3 hours per week less than last semester. Lord please provide! This semester has brought a lot of reading with it. Nearly all of the textbooks are required reading by the end of the semester... some of them have deadlines and/or accompanying book reports. Currently I have a majority of the reading done for this semester, but will it be enough? The amount of reading I've done has caused my roommate to be concerned that I may be approaching burnout. He is conspiring to capture and drag me off to a social event. His sincere efforts may not be kindly welcomed. For those who believe Bible college will be a paradise of studying the Bible, worship, fellowship, and an almost sure bet to find your soulmate amongst the fish in the pond of believers... wake up :).
I find myself struggling in the amount of study and preparation I put into my ministry at the retirement home. The work ethic in me and care for the people desires to give them the best I can. What does that look like though? Last semester it took anywhere from 6-10 hours a week to prepare a sermon I was somewhat satisfied with. Can I even do that this semester? I'm studying Greek and doing its' homework nearly every day and that's just to keep up! I can go on and on... there's never nothing to do here! Now that that's off my chest... I do know that I get what I bargained for... I know that ministry won't be easy and training for ministry won't be easy either. The time struggles are real. The financial struggles are real. The relational struggles are real. Even the theological struggles can be real (as hopefully we don't accept everything we believe at face value). I tell myself to stop whining but does that help? It doesn't stop what goes on in my head.
Just the other day I read the last portion of Haddon Robinson's Biblical Preaching and was inspired by the fact that God will and chooses to use our ministry regardless of how much we think we have or have not put into it. He explained how amazing it is to see when people approach him after a service and tell him how the message blessed their lives that day when he knows he thought it could have been better or he wanted more time to prepare something. That can only be the Holy Spirit. That's not the first time I've heard a story like that from a pastor. I suppose that's where I should find my rest. God has me here in the exact places I am for His exact purposes. Last Sunday I had a woman tell me about an angry lady on her floor at the retirement home who when people walk by she tries to coax them in and when they refuse... she cusses them out. The woman said she thinks God may be telling her to go in and share the gospel with that lady. I agreed that she should and she was honest in saying, "but I don't want to." If only the average Christian was that honest... maybe we would get somewhere in our obedience to the Word.
Laments:
I laugh inside as I type that word. It seems one of the common things a melancholy does is lament. His laments often occur much more often than the fraction of them made public. Love me or hate me... here ya go... (beep, beep, beep... the sound of the dumptruck raising its load)
A Fransiscan missionary monk, Raymond Lull dedicated his life to preaching the gospel to the Muslim community in 1235 AD. As he traveled to North Africa to witness, it's said one of his tactics was to hold up a copy of the Ten Commandments and announce that the prophet Muhammad had broken each one. Some were saved and some stoned him to death in 1315 (from Introducing World Missions By Scott Moreau). While our goal isn't to be stoned to death... we obviously must recognize the reality and power of the law of God to confront humanity with its' sin and the severity of it.
I sit in my classes this semester related to evangelism and they are as I expected. I knew I would be pulling my hair out and I surely am. These ideas of man-centered evangelism, lifestyle evangelism, and passive "sweet and cuddly" evangelism are causing a fidget fest in my classroom chair. Recently a student said the only way we can reach this postmodern world is to practice the methods of Michael Simpson's Permission Evangelism. This is to act in such a way that you strategically get them to ask you for permission to share your testimony and shy away from discussion of hell or the severity of sin beyond the idea that it "separates us from God." Today in class a professor made a plug for lifestyle evangelism and a quiet girl spoke up in class to eloquently say that a perspective like that often leads her to justify not sharing at all. The professor tried to agree where he could, but soon continued. Another professor spoke of the homeless man he saw regurlary as he walked the streets of Chicago passing the same location. He talked of how he was trying to build a relationship with the man. A student raised his hand to ask, "What if that guy died tomorrow?" I met that student today. He's a fan of Mark Cahill.
What hurts more is to see my fellow students nodd in affirmation, give vocal Christian "mmmm's" in agreement, and walk up after class to express their gratitude in the perspective and philosophy they're learning. Where is our fervor of urgency? Where does the desire we say we have actually meet our methodology? As I continue to meet those of the seemingly small group of students who support intentional evangelism, I praise God yet remain in the dilemma. Lord, these people are going to leave this school and minister to people who will become the next generation of "Christian" hecklers that come up to the believer preaching the truth on the streets and tell him "this isn't the Jesus I know." I could spend all the rest of the night talking about all this, but in fairness I will say one of the teachers did make an important clarification that I will praise him for and share with you... you CAN be relational in evangelism without having a relationship built. Ponder on that... it's one of the good things I've taken from the class.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
To Grow or Not to Grow
I wish I had so much more tiem to write... I enjoy it so. But I'm facing Greek and Old Testament studying still ahead of me and it's already about 9pm. At least we're not in the double digits yet, right? Some updates I will share in breakneck speed and sadly without the fervor I'd like to put into them...
I met with the Moody Radio gentleman to "claim" my job. Last semester he said he would have at least the one shift open for me... I filled out the application and all was well. I even called him over summer to let him know I was still interested. As he turned the corner I greeted him with a smile only for him to say, "you must be here for my son...?" (in a puzzled way). I gathered myself and reminded him of our meeting last semester to which he said he had no openings and gave the job to a broadcasting major. It was difficult to contain my sinking sadness that rushed through me. He took down my info in case the guy fell through. I left the 8th floor of the Crowell building furstrated and scared. I convinced myself that my only option was to return to the job I had formerly and work as many hours as it took (prolly 30) and pray that God would provide before my grades suffered. I shared this plan in a study to group and they smakced me over the head with, "Joseph! You're taking Greek and Old Testament. You'd get like 3 hours of sleep a night!" Then one of the new guys on our floor said, "If you had something firm there would be no room for faith." Inside I was somewhat paralyzed by that statement... it was true. "Aww man, I thought. They're right." I prayed today as I walked to my old job. They eagerly accepted my return. I'll be working 4 days instead my original 5 over there... which is the same as last semester. I start back this Saturday. I may even get Produce primarily instead of Deli. I feel like the 10 spies who looked at the "giants" and ran while Caleb and Joshua trusted God. If I walk by sight, my bank account says I may only be here for one more year. If I walk by faith... whatever happens is because of God's sovereignty and I can trust in Him regardless. I know He's brought me here for a reason. For every Moody student accepted there were 2 students who were not. May I never forget that and give glory to God alone.
I also am enjoying the study of preaching. I'm ahead in that class and not any other! I even decided to ask the prof about my "big idea" for my sermon in PCM coming up in just over a week. He was helpful, but boy was I nervous... fumbling my words... experiencing anxiety memory loss... and accidentially hitting my glasses with my hand... I'm such a basket case.
My 4th grade teacher emailed me today saying she wanted to invite me over before I left. I didn't expect an email from her. I gave her a call over summer to update her on what's happening in my life.
I got my new driver's license in the mail today!! Let's look at it... oh good... the picture isn't horrible.
Honest thoughts: Will I learn to trust God as I should? When? How? Is it timidity? Is it anxiety? Is it worry? Is it a combination of those things? Worry is a lack of trusting Him. Oh Lord, how do I trust You?
I met with the Moody Radio gentleman to "claim" my job. Last semester he said he would have at least the one shift open for me... I filled out the application and all was well. I even called him over summer to let him know I was still interested. As he turned the corner I greeted him with a smile only for him to say, "you must be here for my son...?" (in a puzzled way). I gathered myself and reminded him of our meeting last semester to which he said he had no openings and gave the job to a broadcasting major. It was difficult to contain my sinking sadness that rushed through me. He took down my info in case the guy fell through. I left the 8th floor of the Crowell building furstrated and scared. I convinced myself that my only option was to return to the job I had formerly and work as many hours as it took (prolly 30) and pray that God would provide before my grades suffered. I shared this plan in a study to group and they smakced me over the head with, "Joseph! You're taking Greek and Old Testament. You'd get like 3 hours of sleep a night!" Then one of the new guys on our floor said, "If you had something firm there would be no room for faith." Inside I was somewhat paralyzed by that statement... it was true. "Aww man, I thought. They're right." I prayed today as I walked to my old job. They eagerly accepted my return. I'll be working 4 days instead my original 5 over there... which is the same as last semester. I start back this Saturday. I may even get Produce primarily instead of Deli. I feel like the 10 spies who looked at the "giants" and ran while Caleb and Joshua trusted God. If I walk by sight, my bank account says I may only be here for one more year. If I walk by faith... whatever happens is because of God's sovereignty and I can trust in Him regardless. I know He's brought me here for a reason. For every Moody student accepted there were 2 students who were not. May I never forget that and give glory to God alone.
I also am enjoying the study of preaching. I'm ahead in that class and not any other! I even decided to ask the prof about my "big idea" for my sermon in PCM coming up in just over a week. He was helpful, but boy was I nervous... fumbling my words... experiencing anxiety memory loss... and accidentially hitting my glasses with my hand... I'm such a basket case.
My 4th grade teacher emailed me today saying she wanted to invite me over before I left. I didn't expect an email from her. I gave her a call over summer to update her on what's happening in my life.
I got my new driver's license in the mail today!! Let's look at it... oh good... the picture isn't horrible.
Honest thoughts: Will I learn to trust God as I should? When? How? Is it timidity? Is it anxiety? Is it worry? Is it a combination of those things? Worry is a lack of trusting Him. Oh Lord, how do I trust You?
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Initial Shockwave
Well I've been through my first two days of class and have encountered all my classes at least once for the semester. I'll have spent a running total of $95 on textbooks... some from the bookstore and some from the used sale of students... others I'm still borrowing. Thank the Lord they aren't all that expensive this semester!
Christian Missions w/Naaman looks like it'll be a good class. It's one of the easier looking ones. I'll have to write about a missionary amongst a group of other mini-papers. I'm considering Tom Watson, the missionary our church supports, however I also need to evaluate my church's missions program separately so maybe I won't do him. I'll also be required to do a kind of evangelism activity in the city... looking forward to that. One of the textbooks for the class is a book of martyr stories, some of which are martyrs that graduated from Moody. The prof seems to be a good balance of humor and integrity. He has a Muslim background and a passion to reach that community.
Intro to Disciplemaking with Craigen was not too bad either. I imagine it won't be that hard. It involves a good number of evangelism activities outside of school. While the evangelism methods presented in the class are more focused on relational and "servant evangelism," I appreciated the prof covering some good ground and balance. He wasn't what I expected, while ultimate judgment is reserved for the end of course. I think at least one of the textbooks could have been better chosen though. One of the books is Permission Evangelism By Michael Simpson. It seems to be exactly what the title suggests. I've read through chapter one and have all kinds of writing and underlining in it already... I'm anticipating providing a thoughtful report on my response to the book as one of our assignments. It has some good comments, but the overall thrust is a bit man-centered and boy does the author seem to slam street preachers! It will be a "thorough" read for me I'm sure. It'll go on my shelf next to Becoming a Contagious Christian, which I believe was actually used here at the school before this book. Sigh... much work to do here. I look forward to the Way of The Master Season 3 watching parties I plan to hold when the DVDs arrive :)
Old Testament Survey with Marty is what I expected as NT last semester... a few long reading reports and tough quizzes. Praise God I finished reading the whole OT over summer!!!! So that's behind me now. The prof has begun to crack down on attendance and conduct in class though. Last semester it was quite difficult to stay awake in a 2 hour class like that one. Why do I fall sleep so much and in so many venues? He says if he catches a student sleeping, he'll kick them out of the class and they'll have to take a cut for that day. I understand his reasons and don't blame him, but this will certainly be a challenge for me nonetheless. I always make it there... but my brain may not be with me that whole time.
Greek Grammar I with Gray is still a wild card. It's his first semester teaching Greek so it'll be hard to tell how he'll work out. The first class got me worried because he said we didn't have to worry because if we didn't know Greek, "I don't know it either... we'll learn this together. They just threw me into this. ...well that's partly true." Flashing red lights in my head heated until the bulbs broke! Today was better though. It's apparent that the real learning in the class will come from personal study anyway (1-3 hours per night)... as many of the Greek classes seem to be. I'm just glad we don't have ONLY the textbook. The Croy textbook is not good for self-study without any worksheets, supplemental instruction, or someone saying the pronunciations out loud. The class meets for an hour 4 days a week. I still have 5 chapters and practice exercises to do tonight!
Communication of Biblical Truth (first Preaching class) with Koessler will almost surely be my favorite class. Who would have guessed, eh? I hear he's a tough critic for constructive criticism... but that's good as long as I have the right spirit about me as I hear the feedback. He's got a sense of humor about him too. He said someone once was relaying a rumor they heard to him. They told him, "I heard you make the men and women in your class cry." He said "that's not true... I've never made a woman in my class cry." About 40% of the class is teaching us about preaching theory and content... the rest is spent preaching or listening to another student preach and evaluating.
PCM starts September 7th so I'll continue preaching at the Retirement Home. I've prepared a tentative list of the passage divisions to be able to finish the book of Galatians in the next 13 weeks I preach there. God has blessed me with about a month to begin formulating outlines and marinating in the texts of my upcoming sermons. We also get a new guy in our team who is also a Pastoral major. Maybe he and I can share the preaching load a bit! I haven't met him yet. There's still formal meetings and information distribution from the school this week.
Christian Missions w/Naaman looks like it'll be a good class. It's one of the easier looking ones. I'll have to write about a missionary amongst a group of other mini-papers. I'm considering Tom Watson, the missionary our church supports, however I also need to evaluate my church's missions program separately so maybe I won't do him. I'll also be required to do a kind of evangelism activity in the city... looking forward to that. One of the textbooks for the class is a book of martyr stories, some of which are martyrs that graduated from Moody. The prof seems to be a good balance of humor and integrity. He has a Muslim background and a passion to reach that community.
Intro to Disciplemaking with Craigen was not too bad either. I imagine it won't be that hard. It involves a good number of evangelism activities outside of school. While the evangelism methods presented in the class are more focused on relational and "servant evangelism," I appreciated the prof covering some good ground and balance. He wasn't what I expected, while ultimate judgment is reserved for the end of course. I think at least one of the textbooks could have been better chosen though. One of the books is Permission Evangelism By Michael Simpson. It seems to be exactly what the title suggests. I've read through chapter one and have all kinds of writing and underlining in it already... I'm anticipating providing a thoughtful report on my response to the book as one of our assignments. It has some good comments, but the overall thrust is a bit man-centered and boy does the author seem to slam street preachers! It will be a "thorough" read for me I'm sure. It'll go on my shelf next to Becoming a Contagious Christian, which I believe was actually used here at the school before this book. Sigh... much work to do here. I look forward to the Way of The Master Season 3 watching parties I plan to hold when the DVDs arrive :)
Old Testament Survey with Marty is what I expected as NT last semester... a few long reading reports and tough quizzes. Praise God I finished reading the whole OT over summer!!!! So that's behind me now. The prof has begun to crack down on attendance and conduct in class though. Last semester it was quite difficult to stay awake in a 2 hour class like that one. Why do I fall sleep so much and in so many venues? He says if he catches a student sleeping, he'll kick them out of the class and they'll have to take a cut for that day. I understand his reasons and don't blame him, but this will certainly be a challenge for me nonetheless. I always make it there... but my brain may not be with me that whole time.
Greek Grammar I with Gray is still a wild card. It's his first semester teaching Greek so it'll be hard to tell how he'll work out. The first class got me worried because he said we didn't have to worry because if we didn't know Greek, "I don't know it either... we'll learn this together. They just threw me into this. ...well that's partly true." Flashing red lights in my head heated until the bulbs broke! Today was better though. It's apparent that the real learning in the class will come from personal study anyway (1-3 hours per night)... as many of the Greek classes seem to be. I'm just glad we don't have ONLY the textbook. The Croy textbook is not good for self-study without any worksheets, supplemental instruction, or someone saying the pronunciations out loud. The class meets for an hour 4 days a week. I still have 5 chapters and practice exercises to do tonight!
Communication of Biblical Truth (first Preaching class) with Koessler will almost surely be my favorite class. Who would have guessed, eh? I hear he's a tough critic for constructive criticism... but that's good as long as I have the right spirit about me as I hear the feedback. He's got a sense of humor about him too. He said someone once was relaying a rumor they heard to him. They told him, "I heard you make the men and women in your class cry." He said "that's not true... I've never made a woman in my class cry." About 40% of the class is teaching us about preaching theory and content... the rest is spent preaching or listening to another student preach and evaluating.
PCM starts September 7th so I'll continue preaching at the Retirement Home. I've prepared a tentative list of the passage divisions to be able to finish the book of Galatians in the next 13 weeks I preach there. God has blessed me with about a month to begin formulating outlines and marinating in the texts of my upcoming sermons. We also get a new guy in our team who is also a Pastoral major. Maybe he and I can share the preaching load a bit! I haven't met him yet. There's still formal meetings and information distribution from the school this week.
I'm trying to stay on top of my reading so far... which is easy without working. Still no clear word on my job with the Radio station... the guy I needed tot alk to Monday will be back Wednesday (tomorrow) so I still need to talk with him and prayerfully... Lord willing... get more hours than the initial plan. I know the other job is still waiting to hear from me though. Man I also found out that I'd need a brand new pair of white-soled shoes if I wanna work out in the gym here! I walked all the way to the gym dressed and ready to start up again only to come back to my room and drop the whole thing :( It was rather disappointing. Oh hey, can you believe I'll be 24 years old in less than a month?!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Back... physically.
I'm back at college and classes start tomorrow morning. I'm all moved in. I've said some of my hellos and had a few reunions. When I shift locations it's nearly two different worlds. At home I found myself forgetting what days we didn't have chapel and a lot of people's names. Now that I'm back I feel kinda awkward too. I'm somewhat in default work mode... kinda unemotional as I get re-oriented. I forgot a couple things at home and seem to have lost a textbook I'll need for this semester. My new roommate is cool though... I knew who it would be. Two street preachers in one room can't go wrong, right? We have some pretty different ideas and principles in how we do things though. I still have much to do to prepare for the semester... finish buying books, pickup my transportation pass, straighten out a financial thing, get a job status, and possibly make a doctor's appointment.
As I look at the semester ahead of me and anticipate the workload and what lies ahead, I want to just go head first. I want to be more disciplined than before, I wanna ATTEMPT to incorporate working out, and I wanna meet the newbies to the school (cuz I no longer am one! :)). I hear all the new freshmen on the sister floor look like they're all 14. That'll be interesting.
This semester's schedule not including work or working out...
Old Testament Survey (Lecture) TuTh 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Greek Grammar I (Lecture) MTuWF 1:00PM - 1:50PM
Introduction to Disciplemaking (Lecture) MW 9:00AM - 9:50AM
Christian Missions (Lecture) MWF 11:00AM - 11:50AM
Communication of Biblical Trut (Lecture) TuTh 8:00AM - 9:15AM
(16 hours)
As I understand it... that means 2 easy classes, 2 pretty hard classes, and one less hard class
As I look at the semester ahead of me and anticipate the workload and what lies ahead, I want to just go head first. I want to be more disciplined than before, I wanna ATTEMPT to incorporate working out, and I wanna meet the newbies to the school (cuz I no longer am one! :)). I hear all the new freshmen on the sister floor look like they're all 14. That'll be interesting.
This semester's schedule not including work or working out...
Old Testament Survey (Lecture) TuTh 11:00AM - 12:50PM
Greek Grammar I (Lecture) MTuWF 1:00PM - 1:50PM
Introduction to Disciplemaking (Lecture) MW 9:00AM - 9:50AM
Christian Missions (Lecture) MWF 11:00AM - 11:50AM
Communication of Biblical Trut (Lecture) TuTh 8:00AM - 9:15AM
(16 hours)
As I understand it... that means 2 easy classes, 2 pretty hard classes, and one less hard class
Monday, August 18, 2008
Sleepy Day
It's a rainy day today and will be for the next couple days. That means they are also sleepy days. I wanna take a nap, but I prolly won't. This way I'll sleep better tonight. I have less than a week left before arriving back on campus at Moody. I'm waiting with great anticipation at the semester ahead. It will surely be a busy one. What I'm not eager for is dealing with the confusion about my school bill... I thankfully decided to take a look at it recently and I'm glad I did. Somehow I have a remaining balance from last semester of $2,000. I sent an email to ask about this and they said it was true and that the payment plan also needed to be payed for at $35. They said the deadline for this was two days later... how often am I able to check my email while here? By the time I checked it... time was up. They said the system would knock me out of the payment plan and I'd have to pay it all up front (including the $5,200 total Fall bill). Needless to say... this is not desirable.
I'm kinda frustrated here because I'd assumed if I registered for the payment plan the money would automatically be subtracted from my account... like it should be if you say that's what you want??! I'm already registered for classes so I don't know what's going on here. They've yet to write me back about it. If I have to pay it all up front though, I would certainly have to trust God next semester and likely work myself to death. Lord... umm... I'm trying to trust Ya here.
I taught Sunday school yesterday with the last lesson on Jehovah's Witnesses. I reviewed some of the common passages the JW's twist and shared some exegetical insights. For the most part the truth was seen within a few verses from the one they were distorting. Context is still king. I love the quote: "A text without a context is a pre-text for a proof-text." I also discussed the details of how they start a conversation with you as they come door to door then gave a few approaches on how to respond and witness back to the witnesses. We had most of the high school group and all of the junior high in one room. It was a large group. Partway through I had to speed it up due to time and as I did so I realized that I had forgotten the nervousness of not having regurlarly taught this group and my excitement about the truth I was sharing matched the speed I was teaching. The youth were hooked and interested. I wasn't disoriented as the class ended and I praise God that He used me to help those kids and teens articulate God's truth. I'm continually amazed at what God does and how He does it.
I face a busy week. The packing part is not what I'm talking about. Currently I work 32 hours, have 2 meetings with friends before I leave, plan to help someone move, gotta fix this school bill thing, wanna schedule a doctor's visit, gonna visit my mom, and who knows what else in between. One of those meetings is with a former co-worker who isn't a Christian that I've been talking with for some time. Our conversations have been fruitful every time and I appreciate how I see God drawing him. Please pray for those conversations.
After the last blog entry I feel I should clarify something as I was asked to. My ex-girlffriend read my blog and felt it would be right to call me, explain a few things, and give an update. This was a call I was surprised to get but it left me with a bit of relief and also got me thinking... as I suppose it would have anyway. She called to say there was bitterness, but there isn't anymore. It had been dealt with for a couple weeks now. I didn't know that when I wrote the entry. It's interesting how God works. It turned out we were both praying about and for eachother individually for some time now. God really has been working on hearts. For this I can only praise Him more and know that He is good. I feel also that clarification is needed on my part. Some may read that entry and see it as gossip, slander, or a sob story from a victim. None of these things were my intention. The entry was simply an expression of my felt perceptions. I was being openly honest about how I felt. That's where it ends. That's it. That's all. Consider this illustration: There's a counseling meeting between two people... one says to the other "you are always angry at me." The other says, "Why would you say that? I don't feel angry at you." The counselor then says to person B, "For person A your anger toward them is real and exists for one reason or another. The solution won't come though by arguing over whether or not you are angry, but rather why they perceive you as angry and if anything they're perceiving is valid... it needs to be worked out. That needs to be dealt with and understood before reconciliation can happen." Usually by the time they've reached the counselor, whatever relationship the two had is almost completely dissolved. A perception and miscommunication or no communication can simply explode into further steps and create more and more drama.
I say all that to say I believe this is similar to what happened here. For those who read this, please don't give me more or less credit for anything, don't eisegete or read anything into what I'm saying :/
I throw my hands up in surrender.
I'm kinda frustrated here because I'd assumed if I registered for the payment plan the money would automatically be subtracted from my account... like it should be if you say that's what you want??! I'm already registered for classes so I don't know what's going on here. They've yet to write me back about it. If I have to pay it all up front though, I would certainly have to trust God next semester and likely work myself to death. Lord... umm... I'm trying to trust Ya here.
I taught Sunday school yesterday with the last lesson on Jehovah's Witnesses. I reviewed some of the common passages the JW's twist and shared some exegetical insights. For the most part the truth was seen within a few verses from the one they were distorting. Context is still king. I love the quote: "A text without a context is a pre-text for a proof-text." I also discussed the details of how they start a conversation with you as they come door to door then gave a few approaches on how to respond and witness back to the witnesses. We had most of the high school group and all of the junior high in one room. It was a large group. Partway through I had to speed it up due to time and as I did so I realized that I had forgotten the nervousness of not having regurlarly taught this group and my excitement about the truth I was sharing matched the speed I was teaching. The youth were hooked and interested. I wasn't disoriented as the class ended and I praise God that He used me to help those kids and teens articulate God's truth. I'm continually amazed at what God does and how He does it.
I face a busy week. The packing part is not what I'm talking about. Currently I work 32 hours, have 2 meetings with friends before I leave, plan to help someone move, gotta fix this school bill thing, wanna schedule a doctor's visit, gonna visit my mom, and who knows what else in between. One of those meetings is with a former co-worker who isn't a Christian that I've been talking with for some time. Our conversations have been fruitful every time and I appreciate how I see God drawing him. Please pray for those conversations.
After the last blog entry I feel I should clarify something as I was asked to. My ex-girlffriend read my blog and felt it would be right to call me, explain a few things, and give an update. This was a call I was surprised to get but it left me with a bit of relief and also got me thinking... as I suppose it would have anyway. She called to say there was bitterness, but there isn't anymore. It had been dealt with for a couple weeks now. I didn't know that when I wrote the entry. It's interesting how God works. It turned out we were both praying about and for eachother individually for some time now. God really has been working on hearts. For this I can only praise Him more and know that He is good. I feel also that clarification is needed on my part. Some may read that entry and see it as gossip, slander, or a sob story from a victim. None of these things were my intention. The entry was simply an expression of my felt perceptions. I was being openly honest about how I felt. That's where it ends. That's it. That's all. Consider this illustration: There's a counseling meeting between two people... one says to the other "you are always angry at me." The other says, "Why would you say that? I don't feel angry at you." The counselor then says to person B, "For person A your anger toward them is real and exists for one reason or another. The solution won't come though by arguing over whether or not you are angry, but rather why they perceive you as angry and if anything they're perceiving is valid... it needs to be worked out. That needs to be dealt with and understood before reconciliation can happen." Usually by the time they've reached the counselor, whatever relationship the two had is almost completely dissolved. A perception and miscommunication or no communication can simply explode into further steps and create more and more drama.
I say all that to say I believe this is similar to what happened here. For those who read this, please don't give me more or less credit for anything, don't eisegete or read anything into what I'm saying :/
I throw my hands up in surrender.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Transparency and more
Last post I wanted to say more, but my sister had some difficulties I had to attend to and I couldn't think real well to write. I'm less than 2 weeks away from heading back up to school. I'm looking forward to it and have a lot to do when I get there. I need to square things away with my new job (that I'm confident in getting) and call the old one. I hear the old one has already gone through their turnover and is needing help again. It's good to know that's an option even though the income is small. I also tentatively need to make a doctor's appointment I should've made last semester.
I taught Sunday school beginning with the history and general information about Jehovah's Witnesses. Because it was the first Sunday resuming Sunday school, many of the youth were out and the junior high kids were sent into my room. I think they enjoyed it, however most of it was pure information which can get dry. We didn't have time to get into any of the Scripture. That will be for next week. I'm also about halfway through the Watchtower publication "What Does The Bible Really Teach?" I requested a copy from the Brooklyn headquaters because I don't have a copy at my house here in Texas. I'll also then discuss how to approach JWs and how they will approach us (from my personal experience). It will certainly be the more enjoyable and easier lesson from my standpoint. I'm going to teach the youth the first 3 rules of interpretation. These rules almost always solve interpretation problems... 1. Context, 2. Context, 3. Context. Consider yourself enlightened :)
This summer has been an interesting one for sure. This is especially true about the end of it. It feels like it's gone pretty fast though. Since I've finished the Old Testament, I've been focusing my time on preparing to teach, relaxing a bit with Jake 2.0 and Ben 10 Alien Force, and spending some time with my friends... with a little witnessing here and there. In continuing my blog trend of transparency I venture to share a few thoughts and struggles from life...
It's truly been a blessing to be there for ym friend through his breakup as he was certainly there for me. Thank the Lord for the mercy of His children. God is teaching me even as I am there for someone else. I also have been in a battle to try and help my mom. Over the years it's been more than a struggle to honor my mother and figure out what that means in my situation. My mom has been out of a steady job for a long time. Recently my work had a job fair. I told her about it that day and I'm afraid she lied to me about going. Again I spoke with managers at work who were excited to meet her. I thought she would come in yesterday and I call her to find out that she probably just woke up in the mid afternoon after staying up all night for days in a row. She got a job working at a holiday oriented store and said she wanted to work at both places. That job is obviously seasonal and won't give her what she needs, yet she can't even show up to meet with the managers and fill out an application at my work. She practically has to walk in and a make a phone call or two and she has the job. Her food stamps were recently reduced and my sister lives with her. Her only income is child support and her parents (who are about out of money) I'm thinking of my sister's well-being. As I pray for the situation, I am quickly reminded that of more importance is the eternity of my family. Jobs are temporal... souls are not. May our prayers be focused on the eternal as well as the temporal.
As I spend time with my friend, I also reflect back on my own breakup experience. It's interesting how two guys can "compare notes" in a humorous and yet enjoyable way. It's awesome to have brothers in Christ. As I reflect on the past in light of the present, I can confidently say that after over a year I thank the Lord that His grace has allowed me to continue in life and school with joy in my heart and a rest in His sovereignty that while wavering at times... has still been there. There are still unanswered questions as there always seem to be. I wonder if those were answered... would that put more confidence in my own knowledge isntead of God's control and care? Maybe that's my answer. It's been brought to my attention that even saying hello to my ex-girlfriend bothers her. I suppose this makes sense considering the reluctant responses to those greetings and the overall ignoring of my existence in person... lol. I suppose even trying to be kind is trying for too much. I knew it would be easier for me to ignore and avoid, so I wanted to go outside of my own comfort zone and practice an attitude of kindness regardless of reciprocation or mental noise. This would be the more daunting task I reasoned. So the courage brought out the good morning's, hey's, and how are you's.
In my mind as I thought about this I was immediately reminded of Proverbs 25:21-22, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you." Little did I know this was exactly what was being felt. This feeling is not an intentional one on the part of the person who causes it, rather it's a natural result of showing the attitude toward someone they would not expect from you... the fact that it's the exact opposite of what they expect is what bothers them. The verse also says the Lord will reward you for doing so. For a time I was affirmed in my head that I was on the right path... my motives were pure in showing kindness and the Word of God was playing out as it says it would, right? Then we have this idea of honoring the wishes of the person whom you broke up with...
If she desires no communication, am I to honor that? What about this verse? I learned in Hermeneutics that Proverbs are general truths that don't direct every single individual circumstance in life. As I look again at this proverb, I think twice. Does it apply? Am I in the wrong here? Still not sure. It's interesting to sit back outside myself and watch all this take place. Is this what it all really looks like?
Honest thoughts:
Is it really ever possible to have a vibrant friendship with someone you once intimately shared life with? Who really is who's enemy and why? How and why can some hold bitterness so strong for so long? Why do I have to hear about these things from 3rd parties? Oh yeah, I don't need to worry about these things anymore. I'm free of obligation, right? I can operate in daily life, but I'm afraid I won't be able to shake this lack of clear reconciliation and presence of clear bitterness. Therefore I continue to do the only thing I can do... pray and ignore the clock.
"leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Matthew 5:24
I taught Sunday school beginning with the history and general information about Jehovah's Witnesses. Because it was the first Sunday resuming Sunday school, many of the youth were out and the junior high kids were sent into my room. I think they enjoyed it, however most of it was pure information which can get dry. We didn't have time to get into any of the Scripture. That will be for next week. I'm also about halfway through the Watchtower publication "What Does The Bible Really Teach?" I requested a copy from the Brooklyn headquaters because I don't have a copy at my house here in Texas. I'll also then discuss how to approach JWs and how they will approach us (from my personal experience). It will certainly be the more enjoyable and easier lesson from my standpoint. I'm going to teach the youth the first 3 rules of interpretation. These rules almost always solve interpretation problems... 1. Context, 2. Context, 3. Context. Consider yourself enlightened :)
This summer has been an interesting one for sure. This is especially true about the end of it. It feels like it's gone pretty fast though. Since I've finished the Old Testament, I've been focusing my time on preparing to teach, relaxing a bit with Jake 2.0 and Ben 10 Alien Force, and spending some time with my friends... with a little witnessing here and there. In continuing my blog trend of transparency I venture to share a few thoughts and struggles from life...
It's truly been a blessing to be there for ym friend through his breakup as he was certainly there for me. Thank the Lord for the mercy of His children. God is teaching me even as I am there for someone else. I also have been in a battle to try and help my mom. Over the years it's been more than a struggle to honor my mother and figure out what that means in my situation. My mom has been out of a steady job for a long time. Recently my work had a job fair. I told her about it that day and I'm afraid she lied to me about going. Again I spoke with managers at work who were excited to meet her. I thought she would come in yesterday and I call her to find out that she probably just woke up in the mid afternoon after staying up all night for days in a row. She got a job working at a holiday oriented store and said she wanted to work at both places. That job is obviously seasonal and won't give her what she needs, yet she can't even show up to meet with the managers and fill out an application at my work. She practically has to walk in and a make a phone call or two and she has the job. Her food stamps were recently reduced and my sister lives with her. Her only income is child support and her parents (who are about out of money) I'm thinking of my sister's well-being. As I pray for the situation, I am quickly reminded that of more importance is the eternity of my family. Jobs are temporal... souls are not. May our prayers be focused on the eternal as well as the temporal.
As I spend time with my friend, I also reflect back on my own breakup experience. It's interesting how two guys can "compare notes" in a humorous and yet enjoyable way. It's awesome to have brothers in Christ. As I reflect on the past in light of the present, I can confidently say that after over a year I thank the Lord that His grace has allowed me to continue in life and school with joy in my heart and a rest in His sovereignty that while wavering at times... has still been there. There are still unanswered questions as there always seem to be. I wonder if those were answered... would that put more confidence in my own knowledge isntead of God's control and care? Maybe that's my answer. It's been brought to my attention that even saying hello to my ex-girlfriend bothers her. I suppose this makes sense considering the reluctant responses to those greetings and the overall ignoring of my existence in person... lol. I suppose even trying to be kind is trying for too much. I knew it would be easier for me to ignore and avoid, so I wanted to go outside of my own comfort zone and practice an attitude of kindness regardless of reciprocation or mental noise. This would be the more daunting task I reasoned. So the courage brought out the good morning's, hey's, and how are you's.
In my mind as I thought about this I was immediately reminded of Proverbs 25:21-22, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you." Little did I know this was exactly what was being felt. This feeling is not an intentional one on the part of the person who causes it, rather it's a natural result of showing the attitude toward someone they would not expect from you... the fact that it's the exact opposite of what they expect is what bothers them. The verse also says the Lord will reward you for doing so. For a time I was affirmed in my head that I was on the right path... my motives were pure in showing kindness and the Word of God was playing out as it says it would, right? Then we have this idea of honoring the wishes of the person whom you broke up with...
If she desires no communication, am I to honor that? What about this verse? I learned in Hermeneutics that Proverbs are general truths that don't direct every single individual circumstance in life. As I look again at this proverb, I think twice. Does it apply? Am I in the wrong here? Still not sure. It's interesting to sit back outside myself and watch all this take place. Is this what it all really looks like?
Honest thoughts:
Is it really ever possible to have a vibrant friendship with someone you once intimately shared life with? Who really is who's enemy and why? How and why can some hold bitterness so strong for so long? Why do I have to hear about these things from 3rd parties? Oh yeah, I don't need to worry about these things anymore. I'm free of obligation, right? I can operate in daily life, but I'm afraid I won't be able to shake this lack of clear reconciliation and presence of clear bitterness. Therefore I continue to do the only thing I can do... pray and ignore the clock.
"leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Matthew 5:24
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Updates and Jehovah's (False) Witnesses
I have about 2 and a half weeks left until school resumes. I can thankfully say I've finished reading the Old Testament over the summer!!! It's been a busy summer. I get to teach the youth this Sunday about Jehovah's Witnesses. Here are my notes...
Jehovah’s Witnesses Week 1
Using Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin
-What do you remember from last time? What is the crowning heresy of the JW’s?
-Pg.48 summary points and…
-They will never salute the flag, will never recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and will never serve in the army. They don’t celebrate Christmas because they deny the incarnation of Jesus Christ. They don’t celebrate Easter because they deny the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. They believe Jesus died on a stake… not a cross.
-pg.49-59 (C.T. Russell and Judge Rutherford)
-pg.50-51: the Finished Mystery and Russell’s divorce
-pg.54-55: Russell doesn’t know Greek
-pg.57: The Bible is not enough
-Excerpt from pg.68-69
-Discuss how they “study” the Bible vs an exegetical commentary
-No Bibles at Jonestown and Catholics murdering early translators
-Early in ministry, Russell said Christ would return in the flesh in the year 1874.
-(False prophecy) He changed his calculations to the year 1914.
-(False Prophecy) Russell then redefined the 2nd Coming to mean that Jesus returned in 1914 as an invisible spirit to help set up the organization.
-pg.104: Awake magazine mission statement changed?
-Russell died on Oct. 31st, 1916 (Halloween night)
-In 1917, Joseph Franklin Rutherford took over the organization.
-To increase membership, he said that only 144,000 people would be able to enter heaven.
-In 1935 it went over 144,000.
-Rutherford saved the day with a new revelation that said all the people who joined before 1935 would go to heaven and everyone who joined after 1935, would stay on earth to live in a “new paradise.”
-He said Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob would return in the flesh between 1925 and 1929.
-He built a large mansion in San Deigo, California for them to live when they returned.
- (False prophecy) Rutherford lived in the mansion himself until he died in 1942.
-In 1942, Nathan H. Knorr
-In 1966, he said Armageddon and the end of the age would occur in 1975.
-(False prophecy) Fast Facts on False Teachings: “In 1976 and 77 over a million JW left the Watchtower deeply disillusioned with the organization that claimed to be the voice of God on earth, but had proven again and again to be a false prophet.”
-Knorr died in 1977.
-Biblical test for foretelling prophets? Deut. 18:20-22
-Now the leadership is a group called the “Governing Body” presided over by the president
-Read pg. 67 *highlighted*
-In 2001, only one-sixth of total membership was in the U.S.
-Titles:
-Heavenly/Spiritual/Anointed class (only ones who can partake of annual communion and includes those born in 1914)
-Publishers (1200 yearly hours in “studying” or witnessing with others)
-Pioneers (next step up)
-Congregation (a group of witnesses meeting)
-Kingdom hall (not a church – they will correct you)
-Weekly meetings (5 expected of them):
-Public Talk (Sunday service-singing, discussion of watchtower material)
-Watchtower study (immediate follow-up Q&A)
-Theocratic Ministry School (evangelism training – Thursday nights)
-Service meeting (follows ministry training)
-Book Study (not sure what “book” means)
-New World Translation
-It was completed in 1961. There have been 4 revisions… last in 1984.
-Describe… purple cover one is better (“God is giving us new revelation all the time”)
-Disfellowshipping/Excommunication
-Read pg.67 (bottom)-68
-story of the guy on sixscreensofthewatchtower.com
-his daughter refused to see him
-In Christianity the goal is what? Restoration, not guilt
-Scripture Distortions
-Col. 1:15? (“firstborn of all creation”)
-Preeminence… Christ is superior to all of creation (compare Jeremiah 31:9)
-v.16 = He is Creator (also John 1:3), v.17 = He is Sustainer (Hebrews 1:3)
-1 Cor. 11:3?, prayer of John 17? John 5:19? (see… Jesus and God are not the same)
-John 5:23 = They’re worthy of the same honor
-What is the doctrine of the Trinity? 3 distinct persons, one SUBSTANCE
-Father wills, Son carries out, Spirit provides the power
-Heb. 1:5-6? (they translate it “obeisance” respect?)
-Heb. 1:8 = The Father calls Christ God
-Hebrews 1 teaches the supremecy and sufficiency of Christ
-Rev. 7:4? (The 144,000) -duh
-Lev. 17:10? (No blood transfusions?)
-John 1:1 (the infamous “a god” translation)
-Word order is different in Greek: “and God was the Word (the subject).” We know that "the Word" is the subject because it has the definite article, and we translate it accordingly: "and the Word was God." The word order tells us that Jesus Christ has all the divine attributes that the Father has; lack of the article tells us that Jesus Christ is not the Father. As Martin Luther said, the lack of the article is against Sabellianism; the word order is against Arianism.
-To state this another way, look at how the different Greek constructions would be rendered:
"and the Word was the God" (i.e., the Father; Sabellianism).
"and the Word was a god"
(Arianism), "and the Word was God" (Orthodoxy). (Bill Mounce, teknia.com)
-Any comments from Matthew on this verse?
Jehovah’s Witnesses Week 1
Using Kingdom of the Cults by Walter Martin
-What do you remember from last time? What is the crowning heresy of the JW’s?
-Pg.48 summary points and…
-They will never salute the flag, will never recite the Pledge of Allegiance, and will never serve in the army. They don’t celebrate Christmas because they deny the incarnation of Jesus Christ. They don’t celebrate Easter because they deny the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ. They believe Jesus died on a stake… not a cross.
-pg.49-59 (C.T. Russell and Judge Rutherford)
-pg.50-51: the Finished Mystery and Russell’s divorce
-pg.54-55: Russell doesn’t know Greek
-pg.57: The Bible is not enough
-Excerpt from pg.68-69
-Discuss how they “study” the Bible vs an exegetical commentary
-No Bibles at Jonestown and Catholics murdering early translators
-Early in ministry, Russell said Christ would return in the flesh in the year 1874.
-(False prophecy) He changed his calculations to the year 1914.
-(False Prophecy) Russell then redefined the 2nd Coming to mean that Jesus returned in 1914 as an invisible spirit to help set up the organization.
-pg.104: Awake magazine mission statement changed?
-Russell died on Oct. 31st, 1916 (Halloween night)
-In 1917, Joseph Franklin Rutherford took over the organization.
-To increase membership, he said that only 144,000 people would be able to enter heaven.
-In 1935 it went over 144,000.
-Rutherford saved the day with a new revelation that said all the people who joined before 1935 would go to heaven and everyone who joined after 1935, would stay on earth to live in a “new paradise.”
-He said Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob would return in the flesh between 1925 and 1929.
-He built a large mansion in San Deigo, California for them to live when they returned.
- (False prophecy) Rutherford lived in the mansion himself until he died in 1942.
-In 1942, Nathan H. Knorr
-In 1966, he said Armageddon and the end of the age would occur in 1975.
-(False prophecy) Fast Facts on False Teachings: “In 1976 and 77 over a million JW left the Watchtower deeply disillusioned with the organization that claimed to be the voice of God on earth, but had proven again and again to be a false prophet.”
-Knorr died in 1977.
-Biblical test for foretelling prophets? Deut. 18:20-22
-Now the leadership is a group called the “Governing Body” presided over by the president
-Read pg. 67 *highlighted*
-In 2001, only one-sixth of total membership was in the U.S.
-Titles:
-Heavenly/Spiritual/Anointed class (only ones who can partake of annual communion and includes those born in 1914)
-Publishers (1200 yearly hours in “studying” or witnessing with others)
-Pioneers (next step up)
-Congregation (a group of witnesses meeting)
-Kingdom hall (not a church – they will correct you)
-Weekly meetings (5 expected of them):
-Public Talk (Sunday service-singing, discussion of watchtower material)
-Watchtower study (immediate follow-up Q&A)
-Theocratic Ministry School (evangelism training – Thursday nights)
-Service meeting (follows ministry training)
-Book Study (not sure what “book” means)
-New World Translation
-It was completed in 1961. There have been 4 revisions… last in 1984.
-Describe… purple cover one is better (“God is giving us new revelation all the time”)
-Disfellowshipping/Excommunication
-Read pg.67 (bottom)-68
-story of the guy on sixscreensofthewatchtower.com
-his daughter refused to see him
-In Christianity the goal is what? Restoration, not guilt
-Scripture Distortions
-Col. 1:15? (“firstborn of all creation”)
-Preeminence… Christ is superior to all of creation (compare Jeremiah 31:9)
-v.16 = He is Creator (also John 1:3), v.17 = He is Sustainer (Hebrews 1:3)
-1 Cor. 11:3?, prayer of John 17? John 5:19? (see… Jesus and God are not the same)
-John 5:23 = They’re worthy of the same honor
-What is the doctrine of the Trinity? 3 distinct persons, one SUBSTANCE
-Father wills, Son carries out, Spirit provides the power
-Heb. 1:5-6? (they translate it “obeisance” respect?)
-Heb. 1:8 = The Father calls Christ God
-Hebrews 1 teaches the supremecy and sufficiency of Christ
-Rev. 7:4? (The 144,000) -duh
-Lev. 17:10? (No blood transfusions?)
-John 1:1 (the infamous “a god” translation)
-Word order is different in Greek: “and God was the Word (the subject).” We know that "the Word" is the subject because it has the definite article, and we translate it accordingly: "and the Word was God." The word order tells us that Jesus Christ has all the divine attributes that the Father has; lack of the article tells us that Jesus Christ is not the Father. As Martin Luther said, the lack of the article is against Sabellianism; the word order is against Arianism.
-To state this another way, look at how the different Greek constructions would be rendered:
"and the Word was the God" (i.e., the Father; Sabellianism).
"and the Word was a god"
(Arianism), "and the Word was God" (Orthodoxy). (Bill Mounce, teknia.com)
-Any comments from Matthew on this verse?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
One Month Left
The time is nearing for me to return to school and I am definitely eager to return. I made a call to let the manager of Moody Radio know I was still interested in the position I spoke with him about before leaving. He was glad to hear from me. I'm confident I'll have at least that job when I return. Prayer is continuing that it will bring more hours than one day a week. By God's grace, I pray for three 8 hour shifts. This would adequately and confidently help me pay for school, allowing me to rely less on my father and/or working on breaks. It would provide a campus job on which I could study as well. This is an ideal situation.
I haven't picked up my Greek textbook in about 2 weeks. I keep getting stuck on grammar concepts that require memorizing charts to be able to understand. Sunday night I taught out of Genesis 19 for the Sunday night service held at the Pastor's home. I was unbelievably nervous and my body language showed it. Feedback said I didn't seem nervous. I only wiped the sweat once :). I need to get a few more thoughts, but currently I was told my ending was abrupt and more application would be good. I wasn't used to the sit-down somewhat small group environment. Looking back from a positive perspective... I think I did alright. I begin teaching the youth about Jehovah's Witnesses in 2 weeks. May the Lord give confidence and show the same compassion on me as He did with Lot in his moment of hesitation.
I'm close to finishing the Moody Handbook of Preaching I bought before leaving the campus. I will say I'm a little disappointed with the book so far. It's been lighter in practical advice and meat than I expected. Some of the views on the incorporation of film, theater, and similar contemporary elements in the worship service have opposed my own yet with unchallenging or at least unconvincing arguments. I say this while admitting the chapters are short and I know they can't cover everything or make the sole goal providing a case or arguing a point. The book isn't finished though. If nothing else comes up, I should finish it today. then I won't need to lug it back through the airport and reduce the weight of my luggage. Can you believe they're now charging for check-in bags?!?! I'm so annoyed I might sprout wings and fly to Chicago!
My witnessing with nick from church is continuing to go well. I'll have to back off on providing constructive criticism for a bit. I think he more expects to learn as he goes. This may be a case where I provide the feedback only when he asks... on style and technique that is. I went ahead and bought him a few items from Livingwaters.com to encourage his evangelism and provide a few more tools. The Lord has been continuing to convict me on my LACK of generosity. The majority of my adult life has been rather individualistic and self-seeking in the name of efficiency. I realize this the more introspective my mind thinks. My savings is such a huge concern and spending is always tight. Near the beginning of the summer though I had lunch with a gentleman at my church who challenged me in a discussion about the homeless and how we are to treat them. As he spoke, the Lord impressed upon me that I need to remember the fact that (in general) I can't take it with me when I die. Since that time, God has given me the courage to buy others food instead of them paying for me as so often has been the case. It's sad that someone has to buy you food just for some time of fellowship. I can't even believe I allowed my ex-girlfriend to do this as often as she did. The Lord has even moved me to make a substantial donation/purchase to a ministry I am grateful to. These I can do in total faith and the credit goes to God. Sanctification is a beautiful and exciting thing.
On a similar note, I'm borrowing the audio book of His Needs, Her Needs by (last name) Harley. It provides some very practical advice and real-life scenerios that are eye-opening. The major principle of the book seems to be summed up in the commands the Bible gives for husbands and wives to love eachother and put eachother before self. All of this and the thoughts on generosity have begun to impact how I consider others and I'm beginning to get a better grasp on putting others first.... what that really looks like in real life. I'm also able to look back on my past in all kinds of relationships and see where it went wrong. Now I can understand why.
My best friend whom I love as the brother in Christ he is, has run into some serious struggles recently. I only hope I can be there for him through this all as he has been there for and tolerated me so often. My earnest prayers go up on his behalf. May God continue to provide wisdom that comes from the direction of the Spirit and not from me.
Prayer requests:
-Wisdom in comforting and growing with my friend
-Confidence in teaching soon
-Devotional priorities and reading would continue to grow (it's getting better)
-Frugality on needless food spending (gotta eat more canned ravioli and Ramen instead!)
I haven't picked up my Greek textbook in about 2 weeks. I keep getting stuck on grammar concepts that require memorizing charts to be able to understand. Sunday night I taught out of Genesis 19 for the Sunday night service held at the Pastor's home. I was unbelievably nervous and my body language showed it. Feedback said I didn't seem nervous. I only wiped the sweat once :). I need to get a few more thoughts, but currently I was told my ending was abrupt and more application would be good. I wasn't used to the sit-down somewhat small group environment. Looking back from a positive perspective... I think I did alright. I begin teaching the youth about Jehovah's Witnesses in 2 weeks. May the Lord give confidence and show the same compassion on me as He did with Lot in his moment of hesitation.
I'm close to finishing the Moody Handbook of Preaching I bought before leaving the campus. I will say I'm a little disappointed with the book so far. It's been lighter in practical advice and meat than I expected. Some of the views on the incorporation of film, theater, and similar contemporary elements in the worship service have opposed my own yet with unchallenging or at least unconvincing arguments. I say this while admitting the chapters are short and I know they can't cover everything or make the sole goal providing a case or arguing a point. The book isn't finished though. If nothing else comes up, I should finish it today. then I won't need to lug it back through the airport and reduce the weight of my luggage. Can you believe they're now charging for check-in bags?!?! I'm so annoyed I might sprout wings and fly to Chicago!
My witnessing with nick from church is continuing to go well. I'll have to back off on providing constructive criticism for a bit. I think he more expects to learn as he goes. This may be a case where I provide the feedback only when he asks... on style and technique that is. I went ahead and bought him a few items from Livingwaters.com to encourage his evangelism and provide a few more tools. The Lord has been continuing to convict me on my LACK of generosity. The majority of my adult life has been rather individualistic and self-seeking in the name of efficiency. I realize this the more introspective my mind thinks. My savings is such a huge concern and spending is always tight. Near the beginning of the summer though I had lunch with a gentleman at my church who challenged me in a discussion about the homeless and how we are to treat them. As he spoke, the Lord impressed upon me that I need to remember the fact that (in general) I can't take it with me when I die. Since that time, God has given me the courage to buy others food instead of them paying for me as so often has been the case. It's sad that someone has to buy you food just for some time of fellowship. I can't even believe I allowed my ex-girlfriend to do this as often as she did. The Lord has even moved me to make a substantial donation/purchase to a ministry I am grateful to. These I can do in total faith and the credit goes to God. Sanctification is a beautiful and exciting thing.
On a similar note, I'm borrowing the audio book of His Needs, Her Needs by (last name) Harley. It provides some very practical advice and real-life scenerios that are eye-opening. The major principle of the book seems to be summed up in the commands the Bible gives for husbands and wives to love eachother and put eachother before self. All of this and the thoughts on generosity have begun to impact how I consider others and I'm beginning to get a better grasp on putting others first.... what that really looks like in real life. I'm also able to look back on my past in all kinds of relationships and see where it went wrong. Now I can understand why.
My best friend whom I love as the brother in Christ he is, has run into some serious struggles recently. I only hope I can be there for him through this all as he has been there for and tolerated me so often. My earnest prayers go up on his behalf. May God continue to provide wisdom that comes from the direction of the Spirit and not from me.
Prayer requests:
-Wisdom in comforting and growing with my friend
-Confidence in teaching soon
-Devotional priorities and reading would continue to grow (it's getting better)
-Frugality on needless food spending (gotta eat more canned ravioli and Ramen instead!)
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I'm Tired.
Well I can say for the first time that I'm no longer neutral about whether Id rather be home working or in Chicago at school. I miss school. I miss my Moody buddies. I'm ready to go back... with over a month still to go. This job is wearing me out physically. Part of me is considering doing primarily Deli when I return in the future. Since the remodel, the Deli is less taxing work than Produce. All these late days and 4am/5am shifts aren't friendly with me it's seeming. More importantly, I'm just not sure I can cut it anymore. The amount of work and the demands on time are rather difficult. I'm getting sluggish and awkwardly clumsy with my work. Not a day seems to go by where I don't have a package of berries or grape tomatoes bust open, boxes fall over on the floor, I cut myself, hit my head on something, or bruise myself. I enjoy the challenge the days bring, but there's a point I'm thinking when enjoyment ends. Am I cut out for too much more of this kind of work? I'm glad the Lord wouldn't have me do this for a living for the rest of my life. Today I worked 6am-noon and got a lot done... but now my back doesn't like me.
I was also able to give a guy at work a copy of Living By The Book. He's a believer that goes to a Pentecostal and yet "Holy Laughter Movement" church. I've visited his church before incidentally. I will be praying that God uses that book to impact the way he interprets and studies the Bible. It's my tactful way of throwing some biblical material his way without challenging everything his church is teaching. He said he was thankful the Lord must have put it on my heart to buy him that book and that he received that and it made his day. The Lord certainly did put it on my heart... may He now continue to provide financially even though I'm spending money on things like this.
Nick (from church) and I found out last night that the best time to go preaching to the kids at the skate park is 8:30pm. it seems every time we go there the kids are either leaving, there isn't enough of them, or in the case of last night... the cops were there. Well... now we know. We ended up staying late at Capp Smith Park preaching until about 10pm. Nick had a little audience growing there. Two Hispanic women and 2 teens. As the teens left one of them told me "you're doing a good job." It's amazing to think what kind of impact this park ministry will have in regard to the growth of believers and the reaching of the lost when all we're doing is practicing really. God wasn't kidding when He said His Word wouldn't return void. I haven't been downtown for quite some time. In fact, I think it's only been once since I've been back.
Johnny and I have been hanging out Sundays and we're trying to plan a more focused set of spiritual activities for growth and so that we can put God first together. We've decided to study certain theological topics or questions we have and we're trying to organize a CSM reunion where I can teach on some of these we'll study together. Currently... interest in this event is limited to just us 2. We'll see what happens.
I'm here at TCC to start writing up my sermon notes for the Sunday night service coming up. My passage is Genesis 19:15-22:
15When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away in the punishment of the city."
16But he hesitated. So the men (A)seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for (B)the compassion of the LORD was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city.
17When they had brought them outside, one said, "(C)Escape for your life! (D)Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the (E)valley; escape to (F)the mountains, or you will be swept away."
18But Lot said to them, "Oh no, my lords!
19"Now behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your lovingkindness, which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, for the disaster will overtake me and I will die;
20now behold, this town is near enough to flee to, and it is small. Please, let me escape there (is it not small?) that my life may be saved."
21He said to him, "Behold, I grant you this request also, not to overthrow the town of which you have spoken.
22"Hurry, escape there, for I cannot do anything until you arrive there." Therefore the name of the town was called [a](G)Zoar.
Please pray for dilgence and perseverance as I work on these notes, practice, and continue to think and pray over this sermon.
I was also able to give a guy at work a copy of Living By The Book. He's a believer that goes to a Pentecostal and yet "Holy Laughter Movement" church. I've visited his church before incidentally. I will be praying that God uses that book to impact the way he interprets and studies the Bible. It's my tactful way of throwing some biblical material his way without challenging everything his church is teaching. He said he was thankful the Lord must have put it on my heart to buy him that book and that he received that and it made his day. The Lord certainly did put it on my heart... may He now continue to provide financially even though I'm spending money on things like this.
Nick (from church) and I found out last night that the best time to go preaching to the kids at the skate park is 8:30pm. it seems every time we go there the kids are either leaving, there isn't enough of them, or in the case of last night... the cops were there. Well... now we know. We ended up staying late at Capp Smith Park preaching until about 10pm. Nick had a little audience growing there. Two Hispanic women and 2 teens. As the teens left one of them told me "you're doing a good job." It's amazing to think what kind of impact this park ministry will have in regard to the growth of believers and the reaching of the lost when all we're doing is practicing really. God wasn't kidding when He said His Word wouldn't return void. I haven't been downtown for quite some time. In fact, I think it's only been once since I've been back.
Johnny and I have been hanging out Sundays and we're trying to plan a more focused set of spiritual activities for growth and so that we can put God first together. We've decided to study certain theological topics or questions we have and we're trying to organize a CSM reunion where I can teach on some of these we'll study together. Currently... interest in this event is limited to just us 2. We'll see what happens.
I'm here at TCC to start writing up my sermon notes for the Sunday night service coming up. My passage is Genesis 19:15-22:
15When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away in the punishment of the city."
16But he hesitated. So the men (A)seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for (B)the compassion of the LORD was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city.
17When they had brought them outside, one said, "(C)Escape for your life! (D)Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the (E)valley; escape to (F)the mountains, or you will be swept away."
18But Lot said to them, "Oh no, my lords!
19"Now behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your lovingkindness, which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, for the disaster will overtake me and I will die;
20now behold, this town is near enough to flee to, and it is small. Please, let me escape there (is it not small?) that my life may be saved."
21He said to him, "Behold, I grant you this request also, not to overthrow the town of which you have spoken.
22"Hurry, escape there, for I cannot do anything until you arrive there." Therefore the name of the town was called [a](G)Zoar.
Please pray for dilgence and perseverance as I work on these notes, practice, and continue to think and pray over this sermon.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Preaching, Teaching, hardly sleeping.
I just heard a story about a guy who was asked for a gospel tract on the sidewalk and when giving them to those who asked... a police officer told him to leave immediately. When asked for his badge number, the officer angrily said it and proceeded to cite the guy with the tracts for trespassing. As they walked, he asked the officer about his first amendment right. To which, the officer said the right doesn't include that particular strip of public property. He threatened the guy with a $700 fine if he found another tract on the ground and took his driver's license number and personal information. As a friendly nudge, I remind you of something someone told me about awhile back that was rather thought provoking. How's the world treatin ya? As you think of an answer... consider the verse that says, "everyone who desires to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."
Summer is still busy. I've had a short break because of a boundary I've reached in my study of Greek. I need to do some written exercises that I'm trying to get worksheets for. I'm finding the textbook my school uses (Croy) is not the best for self-study. It kinda just lists the information and says do it... giving exercises. It's brief too. I've enjoyed studying through Bill Mounce's material on Teknia.com and have tried to use it alongside the book I'll use for class. My reading of the Old Testament is going well... I think. I started Job this morning. I'm also almost done with Psalms thanks to my friend's audio Bible CDs.
I've been spending some time bi-weekly going to witnessing with a guy form church. He open-air preached for the first time the other day at the park. I'm confident the Lord is going to use his passion. He borrowed the first season of Way of The Master from me and watched it all in less than a week. It's also been cool to have theological discussions with him and hear of his witnessing encounter stories. I'm also spending some time studying Genesis 19:15-22. I plan to teach/preach on this passage soon for the Sunday night service at church. I'm still struggling with the tension in the passage. What were Lot's motives? Is Lot really the terrible rotten guy most commentators make him out to be? I'm searching the context for answers. The regular youth teacher has also asked me to teach the youth Sunday school on the topic of Jehovah's Witnesses and how to reach them. This is an interesting and unexpected request. My first reaction was nervousness. I know it's doable and the material is not difficult. Some of it I could do with my eyes closed. The problem is confidence. I seem to always struggle with confidence. These will be the first opportunities I've had to teach in my home church. It's not a big church, but that doesn't change the big anxiety for me. People give me looks when I say this... knowing that I can preach on a street corner to nonbelievers, yet struggle in a room of believers.
Nonbelievers don't normally correct you on the finer points of interpretation and theology. This is not to say my church is like that, but that doesn't change my often-unwarranted fears and timidity. I have no idea of the expectations of my hearers. One guy told me I look smarter (just because I've come home from a few months of Bible college). Dr. Litfin was right when he said people would do thigns like call on us to pray more just because we're going to Moody. The introvert in me cringes and the extrovert in me produces a caffienated thrill.
I've been working odd hours. This week it's all 4am-10am... with a couple days where I work at night at another store. My free time is spent trying to read and study while often nodding off or blowing too much time watching crime investigation shows. My last day of work is August 21st and I return to the campus Saturday, August 23rd.
Prayer requests:
-My devotional life needs to be a bit more devotional (thoughtful, prayerful, quiet, focused)
-Anxiety/confidence to teach and preach
-diligence and wisdom in time allocation (the power to say no to some things)
-The Spirit's guidance as I (kinda) disciple someone in evangelism
-Vonett needs a job (a penpal in Jamaica)
Summer is still busy. I've had a short break because of a boundary I've reached in my study of Greek. I need to do some written exercises that I'm trying to get worksheets for. I'm finding the textbook my school uses (Croy) is not the best for self-study. It kinda just lists the information and says do it... giving exercises. It's brief too. I've enjoyed studying through Bill Mounce's material on Teknia.com and have tried to use it alongside the book I'll use for class. My reading of the Old Testament is going well... I think. I started Job this morning. I'm also almost done with Psalms thanks to my friend's audio Bible CDs.
I've been spending some time bi-weekly going to witnessing with a guy form church. He open-air preached for the first time the other day at the park. I'm confident the Lord is going to use his passion. He borrowed the first season of Way of The Master from me and watched it all in less than a week. It's also been cool to have theological discussions with him and hear of his witnessing encounter stories. I'm also spending some time studying Genesis 19:15-22. I plan to teach/preach on this passage soon for the Sunday night service at church. I'm still struggling with the tension in the passage. What were Lot's motives? Is Lot really the terrible rotten guy most commentators make him out to be? I'm searching the context for answers. The regular youth teacher has also asked me to teach the youth Sunday school on the topic of Jehovah's Witnesses and how to reach them. This is an interesting and unexpected request. My first reaction was nervousness. I know it's doable and the material is not difficult. Some of it I could do with my eyes closed. The problem is confidence. I seem to always struggle with confidence. These will be the first opportunities I've had to teach in my home church. It's not a big church, but that doesn't change the big anxiety for me. People give me looks when I say this... knowing that I can preach on a street corner to nonbelievers, yet struggle in a room of believers.
Nonbelievers don't normally correct you on the finer points of interpretation and theology. This is not to say my church is like that, but that doesn't change my often-unwarranted fears and timidity. I have no idea of the expectations of my hearers. One guy told me I look smarter (just because I've come home from a few months of Bible college). Dr. Litfin was right when he said people would do thigns like call on us to pray more just because we're going to Moody. The introvert in me cringes and the extrovert in me produces a caffienated thrill.
I've been working odd hours. This week it's all 4am-10am... with a couple days where I work at night at another store. My free time is spent trying to read and study while often nodding off or blowing too much time watching crime investigation shows. My last day of work is August 21st and I return to the campus Saturday, August 23rd.
Prayer requests:
-My devotional life needs to be a bit more devotional (thoughtful, prayerful, quiet, focused)
-Anxiety/confidence to teach and preach
-diligence and wisdom in time allocation (the power to say no to some things)
-The Spirit's guidance as I (kinda) disciple someone in evangelism
-Vonett needs a job (a penpal in Jamaica)
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Summer Fun?
Well summer is here and there's no rest for the weary Bible student. I've been working full time since my return and thankfully sales are so high at work they can afford to give me my hours and sometimes more, while still having both the managers and a fourth person working in the same department. Nearly all of us are working full time too. I worked a straight 12 hour day yesterday so I could end up with 40 hours by the end of the week. It's been tough work physically. I doubt I could handle a second job as I'd considered before leaving the campus. It would have been a less physical job... like a cashier somewhere or something, but I'm already pretty tired as it is.
I've been out witnessing once since I've returned. It was nice to see the guys again and even some new faces from a nearby Bible college and their street preaching team. I got to take Nick out with me that week. He's a 17 year old from my church who's been a believer for less than a year. He really enjoyed his experience and his thinking was stirred quite a bit. He said he got see another side of Christianity. He hadn't seen people being yelled at for preaching the gospel... until that night. Sadly the heckler's threats and reaction cause Nick's father to disallow him from returning with me. I can understand parental concern, however the area is littered with police of whom I have the direct phone number... not to mention the many Christian adults out there. Please pray for that situation. I believe this was a tremendous growing experience for Nick. It's also been a growing experience for me as I interact with and walk alongside a new believer.
I'm making progress in my reading of the Old Testament to prep for taking the survey class next semester. I'm in the middle of Joshua. Hopefully I can reach the end in the next 3 months before I head back to school. it sounds like an easy task... if that's all I did with my free time. I've also undertaken a study of biblical Greek to prepare for that class. I'm pretty confident with the alphabet and transliteration and I'm moving into pronunciation, grammar terms, etc. I've been starting to study with a guy from church who put down his Greek studies a while back and found this as an opportunity to begin again.
I've also endeavored to spend time with my best friend... studying and talking. He really has needed the accountability as I do I in some areas. I've reached a kind of dilemma though in my counsel with him. It's been difficult to address the issues at hand in a new way. Questions enter my mind... what else is there to say? is "something new" the answer at all? how can I best use our time together? am I truly serving my friend as a brother in Christ? How can I do that effectively? I had a brief talk with another friend today that helped answer soem of these questions... and it's interesting how these things are often much simpler than we make them.
May the Lord guide this summer and I grow in His grace.
I've been out witnessing once since I've returned. It was nice to see the guys again and even some new faces from a nearby Bible college and their street preaching team. I got to take Nick out with me that week. He's a 17 year old from my church who's been a believer for less than a year. He really enjoyed his experience and his thinking was stirred quite a bit. He said he got see another side of Christianity. He hadn't seen people being yelled at for preaching the gospel... until that night. Sadly the heckler's threats and reaction cause Nick's father to disallow him from returning with me. I can understand parental concern, however the area is littered with police of whom I have the direct phone number... not to mention the many Christian adults out there. Please pray for that situation. I believe this was a tremendous growing experience for Nick. It's also been a growing experience for me as I interact with and walk alongside a new believer.
I'm making progress in my reading of the Old Testament to prep for taking the survey class next semester. I'm in the middle of Joshua. Hopefully I can reach the end in the next 3 months before I head back to school. it sounds like an easy task... if that's all I did with my free time. I've also undertaken a study of biblical Greek to prepare for that class. I'm pretty confident with the alphabet and transliteration and I'm moving into pronunciation, grammar terms, etc. I've been starting to study with a guy from church who put down his Greek studies a while back and found this as an opportunity to begin again.
I've also endeavored to spend time with my best friend... studying and talking. He really has needed the accountability as I do I in some areas. I've reached a kind of dilemma though in my counsel with him. It's been difficult to address the issues at hand in a new way. Questions enter my mind... what else is there to say? is "something new" the answer at all? how can I best use our time together? am I truly serving my friend as a brother in Christ? How can I do that effectively? I had a brief talk with another friend today that helped answer soem of these questions... and it's interesting how these things are often much simpler than we make them.
May the Lord guide this summer and I grow in His grace.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Fresh Thoughts
Usually when I speak quickly... I insert my foot even faster. Taking that risk, I write now... the thoughts must come out and be prayed over. We just finished our Studying and Teaching the Bible class session where my group taught. I thank the Lord people aren't in my head so often. I overanalyze, I worry, I criticize, I play more scenerios in my head in 20 minutes than moviemakers probably could come up with in a year. This is my struggle. I think too much. In my head I so wrongly beat myself up and become discouraged. My mind says, "I know my heart is beyond what I just said. I know the fire is boiling beyond the words I just said. I know my relationship with You Lord. I know what we have and what You've shown and taught me. I know how You've grown me. I can do better than this. Where's the disconnect, Lord? Where's the barrier so I can be done with this and move on to more effective growth and ability in communicating Your Word?"
I know He may have other purposes for this. I also know as a principle "His ways are not our ways." All my life I've struggled to get it out. My life is a pattern of almosts. My introversion I feel so often has plagued me and perhaps those I've led and taught in the Word. I get so discouraged inside. Often as I am seeing today... that discouragement is not warranted. However, it's still real. Real enough for me to admit it to you. I freely admit I am a Biblical Exposition major who struggles greatly in confidence while doing what I'm here to do.
In typing these words the Spirit reminds me of those who have gone before me... from this wonderful school and beyond. I'm reminded of Tony Evans who is terrified to speak with people because of his introversion and yet preaches with the undeniable anointing power of the Holy Spirit. I'm reminded of John Wesley who when he preached barely lifted his arm while his co-hort George Whitefield preached with his entire body. I'm reminded of the fact that my confidence should never be in my own "abilities," but in God's calling, God's Word, and God Himself. Where is my confidence? Hopefully not in me! Hopefully not in other people's opinions!
Paul didn't come with excellency of speech or clever words of wisdom, yet few would argue the power his preaching. I praise God. I praise Him. I have 5 more preaching classes and a Homiletical Jury to preach before until I graduate. I have a long way to go... who am I if I get discouraged in the core class and haven't even reached the actual preaching classes?
I know He may have other purposes for this. I also know as a principle "His ways are not our ways." All my life I've struggled to get it out. My life is a pattern of almosts. My introversion I feel so often has plagued me and perhaps those I've led and taught in the Word. I get so discouraged inside. Often as I am seeing today... that discouragement is not warranted. However, it's still real. Real enough for me to admit it to you. I freely admit I am a Biblical Exposition major who struggles greatly in confidence while doing what I'm here to do.
In typing these words the Spirit reminds me of those who have gone before me... from this wonderful school and beyond. I'm reminded of Tony Evans who is terrified to speak with people because of his introversion and yet preaches with the undeniable anointing power of the Holy Spirit. I'm reminded of John Wesley who when he preached barely lifted his arm while his co-hort George Whitefield preached with his entire body. I'm reminded of the fact that my confidence should never be in my own "abilities," but in God's calling, God's Word, and God Himself. Where is my confidence? Hopefully not in me! Hopefully not in other people's opinions!
Paul didn't come with excellency of speech or clever words of wisdom, yet few would argue the power his preaching. I praise God. I praise Him. I have 5 more preaching classes and a Homiletical Jury to preach before until I graduate. I have a long way to go... who am I if I get discouraged in the core class and haven't even reached the actual preaching classes?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
"It's only the beginning..."
When I graduated from Tarrant County College, I think I remember my best friends' father saying something like congratulations... to which I replied, "It's only the beginning..." As I plan ahead (and I always do), I find that God's grace and strength will be the only things that carry me through. I'm learning so much and growing so much, but as Pastor James Ford said in chapel around 2 hours ago to the young men of the student body, we aren't here to study the Bible... we're here to know Him. Looking in front of me I have a list of prayers for the mornings. There are about 10 things and people to pray about at the moment. I've been able to read the Word in the mornings. One thing I miss is my own time of worship before God. I rememebr the sweet mornings of no class until 10am at TCC when I could spend 45 minutes praising and worshipping God in song each morning.
David Livingstone was one the most known pioneer missionaries to Africa. He was trained as a preacher. When he got up to preach for the first time, we're told he opened up the Scripture and began reading his passage. While reading he abruptly stops and says, "Friends, I have forgotten all I had to say" and leaves.
I have moments like that more than most people know. As I watch my own development as a preacher, I currently struggle with one thing particular. I notice that when it comes to preaching the gospel on the frontlines of the streets where common people stand... the intensity and urgency in my voice are clear. However, as I stand to the pulpit and teach believers... I am conversational and calm. I look at preachers like John Hagee (while I don't agree with him on all he teaches) and so many others, I desire to preach with an intensity like that to God's people. I am searching for the wall between or how to bridge the gap between my evangelistic preaching and the teaching of the Word. In that vain, I've begun to pray that God would grow me in His wisdom as a preacher and teacher. It seemed like novel idea.
Next semester's schedule has changed. Here's the new one...
Old Testament Survey (Lecture) TuTh 11:00AM - 12:50PM TBA W. Marty 4.00
Greek Grammar I (Lecture) MTuWF 1:00PM - 1:50PM TBA E. Gray 4.00
Introduction to Disciplemaking (Lecture) MW 9:00AM - 9:50AM TBA C. Craigen 2.00
Christian Missions (Lecture) MWF 11:00AM - 11:50AM TBA S. Naaman 3.00
Communication of Biblical Truth (Lecture) TuTh 8:00AM - 9:15AM TBA J. Koessler 3.00
Interpretation: EEEEEKKK!
This summer will prove to be busy itself. My current plan: Work 40 hours a week and possibly pick up a second job, read the Old Testament to prep for the class in Fall, begin to study Greek to prep for Fall, look at and do observations for my fall sermons at the retirement home. I'm reminded of the proverb that says, "if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength."
In light of all I've written just now and the time I've used, I say... "LET'S DO THIS!"
David Livingstone was one the most known pioneer missionaries to Africa. He was trained as a preacher. When he got up to preach for the first time, we're told he opened up the Scripture and began reading his passage. While reading he abruptly stops and says, "Friends, I have forgotten all I had to say" and leaves.
I have moments like that more than most people know. As I watch my own development as a preacher, I currently struggle with one thing particular. I notice that when it comes to preaching the gospel on the frontlines of the streets where common people stand... the intensity and urgency in my voice are clear. However, as I stand to the pulpit and teach believers... I am conversational and calm. I look at preachers like John Hagee (while I don't agree with him on all he teaches) and so many others, I desire to preach with an intensity like that to God's people. I am searching for the wall between or how to bridge the gap between my evangelistic preaching and the teaching of the Word. In that vain, I've begun to pray that God would grow me in His wisdom as a preacher and teacher. It seemed like novel idea.
Next semester's schedule has changed. Here's the new one...
Old Testament Survey (Lecture) TuTh 11:00AM - 12:50PM TBA W. Marty 4.00
Greek Grammar I (Lecture) MTuWF 1:00PM - 1:50PM TBA E. Gray 4.00
Introduction to Disciplemaking (Lecture) MW 9:00AM - 9:50AM TBA C. Craigen 2.00
Christian Missions (Lecture) MWF 11:00AM - 11:50AM TBA S. Naaman 3.00
Communication of Biblical Truth (Lecture) TuTh 8:00AM - 9:15AM TBA J. Koessler 3.00
Interpretation: EEEEEKKK!
This summer will prove to be busy itself. My current plan: Work 40 hours a week and possibly pick up a second job, read the Old Testament to prep for the class in Fall, begin to study Greek to prep for Fall, look at and do observations for my fall sermons at the retirement home. I'm reminded of the proverb that says, "if you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength."
In light of all I've written just now and the time I've used, I say... "LET'S DO THIS!"
Saturday, April 12, 2008
We come to a close... already!?
It's hard to believe we have less than a month before semester finals. Where did the time go? I've built friendships, learned more of how to study the Word of God and present the clear doctrines of the Bible even clearer, not to mention had the opportunity to minister in more ways than one: Street preaching (of course), teaching and preaching in leading a worship service with a team, helping a guy on the floor with classwork, and (hopefully) being a good brother to the ladies on our sister floor... while I can joke a bit too far at times. What was it the Bible said about the tongue? Oh yeah, it's "set on fire by hell" (James 3:6).
I'm planning (if they let me) to go with the same practical ministry next semester. I got to check out a few others and visit their booths yesterday though. A few of the groups stood out to me for one reason or another. The ones I was considering were the 1. Male prostitution outreach or 2. The Juvenile Detention center ministry to teens. Sound scary? AMEN! Their eternity and the lack of influence in their lives sounds more scary to me. I'm continuing to pray also about the idea of Missions Pastor. I've yet to have any clear direction, but don't expect to at this time. Then again, since when does God act based upon our expectations? Anyway, I've been picking up the flyers and info from church planting and missions organizations that visit the school as I'm able. I'm continuing to pray for God's will to be done. As life unfolds His will is revealed and I can only praise Him because I was not asking for my own will.
It's been a challenge to maintain a job and schoolwork and while I wish I'd have done better on the quizzes, I think things are working out alright. It's strange to think I only took 6 hours of classes in community college while the working the same amount of hours because I thought it was too much. I suppose I was leading a campus ministry and doing street ministry each week, but somethign tells me I could have stepped it up. Now I take 15 hours of classes, work about 22 hours a week, prepare and teach every Sunday morning, and occasionally go out street preachign with the team. It's interesting what we can do through the strength of Christ and our willingness to serve Him. In chapel recently a man who I later found out was a fellow street preacher in essence told his hearers to "stop being babies" and called it endureology. It was a convicting message to say the least. On another note, because my roommate is leaving this semester and getting married... one of the other Pastoral majors and fellow street proclaimer has offered to room with me. We'll be able to move the "Pastoral Studies" sign to our new door.
I'm excited about next semester as well. I'm amping up my credits and planning to get some of the work done for Old Testament over the summer. That should free up enough time to balance things out... hopefully. I already called my job back home and they said I have a job waiting for me when I return for summer. I'm still considering taking up a waiter job with that or something.
prayer:
-Missions Pastor?
-Retirement home ministry
-The Roman Catholic lay minister who stopped to hear my entire message on the street
-Homework and Endurance
-Continued Financial Provision
-Setting aside a meaningful amount of personal time with God in Bible college
I'm planning (if they let me) to go with the same practical ministry next semester. I got to check out a few others and visit their booths yesterday though. A few of the groups stood out to me for one reason or another. The ones I was considering were the 1. Male prostitution outreach or 2. The Juvenile Detention center ministry to teens. Sound scary? AMEN! Their eternity and the lack of influence in their lives sounds more scary to me. I'm continuing to pray also about the idea of Missions Pastor. I've yet to have any clear direction, but don't expect to at this time. Then again, since when does God act based upon our expectations? Anyway, I've been picking up the flyers and info from church planting and missions organizations that visit the school as I'm able. I'm continuing to pray for God's will to be done. As life unfolds His will is revealed and I can only praise Him because I was not asking for my own will.
It's been a challenge to maintain a job and schoolwork and while I wish I'd have done better on the quizzes, I think things are working out alright. It's strange to think I only took 6 hours of classes in community college while the working the same amount of hours because I thought it was too much. I suppose I was leading a campus ministry and doing street ministry each week, but somethign tells me I could have stepped it up. Now I take 15 hours of classes, work about 22 hours a week, prepare and teach every Sunday morning, and occasionally go out street preachign with the team. It's interesting what we can do through the strength of Christ and our willingness to serve Him. In chapel recently a man who I later found out was a fellow street preacher in essence told his hearers to "stop being babies" and called it endureology. It was a convicting message to say the least. On another note, because my roommate is leaving this semester and getting married... one of the other Pastoral majors and fellow street proclaimer has offered to room with me. We'll be able to move the "Pastoral Studies" sign to our new door.
I'm excited about next semester as well. I'm amping up my credits and planning to get some of the work done for Old Testament over the summer. That should free up enough time to balance things out... hopefully. I already called my job back home and they said I have a job waiting for me when I return for summer. I'm still considering taking up a waiter job with that or something.
prayer:
-Missions Pastor?
-Retirement home ministry
-The Roman Catholic lay minister who stopped to hear my entire message on the street
-Homework and Endurance
-Continued Financial Provision
-Setting aside a meaningful amount of personal time with God in Bible college
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tongues, Hermeneutics, and Calling
I'm on the tail end of my break here in Texas. I'll get a good number of hours in due to a few tragedies. My job rehired me in 10 minutes and I worked the same day, thanks to God. The tendency or temptation would be to say "look how good I am, they wanted me back and took me back in no time!" No, the glory and provision goes to God. He wanted me back here for a reason. One thing I was able to do was cover a good amount of spiritual ground with most of the newer deli employees. That itself might have been God's purpose. Since I left I've wanted to witness to the guy who is a former Mormon in practice, but still is one in doctrine. He could be affectionately called a "backslidden Mormon." I also have had the opportunity to do some evangelism in the area and get some reading and study done for classes.
I preached at my old park and a guy from Albertsons I used to work with was there jogging to hear the gospel. Another day at the park, two Mormon missionaries (ages 20 and 21) were there. As I walked by with my Bible one of them came after me on his bike to talk. His immediate response to my Bible was that they believe it AND the Book of Mormon was the Word of God. We all three sat down at a bench and had a civil conversation. I admitted that would probably not read their testament and pray to see if it's true (I already know the God of truth and His written Word). I did say I had some questions however. They told me salvation is by faith in the sacrifice of Christ after all that we can do. I read to them Ephesians 2:8-9. They didn't know how to harmonize works and faith, but just said they work together somehow. We ended on a friendly note and I told them this discussion of faith and works for salvation has eternal ramifications and made it clear that we disagreed on that. They however told me that I had the Holy Spirit just as they did. They said my demeanor showed them I was saved. They said all churches have some of the truth... the Mormons just have the rest of it. Afterward I thought "wow, at least the JW's have the eternal punishment and judgment side of things right!" It almost seems as if even the Mormons are becoming somewhat postmodern!!
The Lord also gave me the courage to preach to the kids at the skate park again. I haven't done that in over a year. It was rather full too. I preached th entire message. Of course, kids were kids though. They cussed a lot and mocked a little. One of them lit up a cigarette. I ended saying that I would lay a small stack of my business cards on the slab of sidewalk I was standing (just outside the fence of the park). They could email any questions they may have and I'd answer them more clearly than I would in person. I also said I would sit on the nearby bench for the following 10 minutes to talk individually if they wanted. I did these things and afterward realized that they convey an important message that motivates me to consider this principle more. By putting the cards out in the open on the OTHER SIDE of the fence... the kids would have to walk out and around to pick up a card in front of all the rest of their friends and skateboarders. Furthermore, if they wanted to talk to me in person, they would have had to walk even further out in the open and in front of everyone. They would have had to risk the humuliation of their peers. Needless to say pride or fear prevented anyone from talk with me, but one kid did take a card. Pray for him. I could hear them talking as I sat there. Some were saying "go ask him _____." Others were saying "are you defending him?!" Please pray for those kids.
I also got to preach in good ole downtown ft. worth. I used the springboard "Where did the soul come from?" and discussed some of the things I was learning in school. I have video of part of the preaching that I'll upload to youtube soon. A woman actually got up on my stool partially drunk to spout her prideful ramblings of why she didn't believe in God. I allowed her to make a fool of herself and just continued preaching. Romans 1 didn't lie when it spoke of humanity. My plan is to go back downtown once or twice before I leave Easter Sunday night.
So I was talking to Travis Friday night and we talked about Tongues and if it was used legitimately today. He told a story that I think I was impressed with. He said he visited a church once where the worship leader "spoke in tongues" and afterward something very interesting and unusual happened. The pastor came up and pointed this out, only to say "here we want to do things biblically" and asked the congregation if anyone had an interpretation. When no one did he turned to the worship leader in love without a hint of anything else and politely asked him to not to do that. Does this suggest the pastor was familiar with it being done biblically? I don't know. I wonder if the pastor was reprimanded for that? I will admit that this is the closest thing I've seen to a biblical representation of the gift of tongues, while it was not done evangelistically as I think Acts suggests. Call me an open Cessationalist... from what I can see... the gift is not normative for today. On the other hand, I would certainly be interested in studying modern churches or observing if the gift was actually practiced biblically.
Last night I was the on the phone with a friend discussing a movie. He thought a major problem in the movie would have been solved if the main character just did one thing. He said he thought the villian was after something and he would stop his attack if he only had that something. I reasoned that the storyline didn't seem to give us that impression or reveal that to us and in fact the clues were somewhat against that theory. I began to put pieces together that made a case that the point of the villian's attack was simply to destroy the main character. This morning it hit me... my friend was interpreting the motive behind the villians' actions and based upon the context of the story and the pieces of the narrative, I interpreted it otherwise. I asked myself this morning... am I observing life the same way I'm observing the Bible? Is all that I'm learning now leaking into my life as I travel through day-to-day events and come across differences of opinion? I tell you... I love Bible college! Thank you Lord for my growth as an expositor and the ready memory of the principles I'm learning!
Finally I wanted to say that I've been praying (if I haven't said already) about if the Lord may want me to be a pastor... but not just that, a missions pastor? I spoke briefly with a professor of mine who was a missions pastor for 9 years. It never occurred to me that one could pastor a flock and in a way be a missionary as well. He said people in other countries have a lot less tools to study the Word than we do here and someone who has had a formal Bible education would have a significant advantage and a significant amount to bring to a people of another country. Immediately my mind dreamed into a future of teaching Hermeneutics and how to study the Bible to people who don't even have a concordance. I could imagine my heart being warmed when they grasp the basic principles of interpretation and Theology and soak up the spiritual milk and meat of the Word. I've always loved to see new believers learn and grow in Christ. Please be with me in prayer as I consider this and seek God's will.
Prayer requests:
-Mormons at the park and Mormon at work
-The seeds sown over break in the hearts of the others at work
-Missions pastor?
-Efficiency and diligence in reading for the remainder of the break
I preached at my old park and a guy from Albertsons I used to work with was there jogging to hear the gospel. Another day at the park, two Mormon missionaries (ages 20 and 21) were there. As I walked by with my Bible one of them came after me on his bike to talk. His immediate response to my Bible was that they believe it AND the Book of Mormon was the Word of God. We all three sat down at a bench and had a civil conversation. I admitted that would probably not read their testament and pray to see if it's true (I already know the God of truth and His written Word). I did say I had some questions however. They told me salvation is by faith in the sacrifice of Christ after all that we can do. I read to them Ephesians 2:8-9. They didn't know how to harmonize works and faith, but just said they work together somehow. We ended on a friendly note and I told them this discussion of faith and works for salvation has eternal ramifications and made it clear that we disagreed on that. They however told me that I had the Holy Spirit just as they did. They said my demeanor showed them I was saved. They said all churches have some of the truth... the Mormons just have the rest of it. Afterward I thought "wow, at least the JW's have the eternal punishment and judgment side of things right!" It almost seems as if even the Mormons are becoming somewhat postmodern!!
The Lord also gave me the courage to preach to the kids at the skate park again. I haven't done that in over a year. It was rather full too. I preached th entire message. Of course, kids were kids though. They cussed a lot and mocked a little. One of them lit up a cigarette. I ended saying that I would lay a small stack of my business cards on the slab of sidewalk I was standing (just outside the fence of the park). They could email any questions they may have and I'd answer them more clearly than I would in person. I also said I would sit on the nearby bench for the following 10 minutes to talk individually if they wanted. I did these things and afterward realized that they convey an important message that motivates me to consider this principle more. By putting the cards out in the open on the OTHER SIDE of the fence... the kids would have to walk out and around to pick up a card in front of all the rest of their friends and skateboarders. Furthermore, if they wanted to talk to me in person, they would have had to walk even further out in the open and in front of everyone. They would have had to risk the humuliation of their peers. Needless to say pride or fear prevented anyone from talk with me, but one kid did take a card. Pray for him. I could hear them talking as I sat there. Some were saying "go ask him _____." Others were saying "are you defending him?!" Please pray for those kids.
I also got to preach in good ole downtown ft. worth. I used the springboard "Where did the soul come from?" and discussed some of the things I was learning in school. I have video of part of the preaching that I'll upload to youtube soon. A woman actually got up on my stool partially drunk to spout her prideful ramblings of why she didn't believe in God. I allowed her to make a fool of herself and just continued preaching. Romans 1 didn't lie when it spoke of humanity. My plan is to go back downtown once or twice before I leave Easter Sunday night.
So I was talking to Travis Friday night and we talked about Tongues and if it was used legitimately today. He told a story that I think I was impressed with. He said he visited a church once where the worship leader "spoke in tongues" and afterward something very interesting and unusual happened. The pastor came up and pointed this out, only to say "here we want to do things biblically" and asked the congregation if anyone had an interpretation. When no one did he turned to the worship leader in love without a hint of anything else and politely asked him to not to do that. Does this suggest the pastor was familiar with it being done biblically? I don't know. I wonder if the pastor was reprimanded for that? I will admit that this is the closest thing I've seen to a biblical representation of the gift of tongues, while it was not done evangelistically as I think Acts suggests. Call me an open Cessationalist... from what I can see... the gift is not normative for today. On the other hand, I would certainly be interested in studying modern churches or observing if the gift was actually practiced biblically.
Last night I was the on the phone with a friend discussing a movie. He thought a major problem in the movie would have been solved if the main character just did one thing. He said he thought the villian was after something and he would stop his attack if he only had that something. I reasoned that the storyline didn't seem to give us that impression or reveal that to us and in fact the clues were somewhat against that theory. I began to put pieces together that made a case that the point of the villian's attack was simply to destroy the main character. This morning it hit me... my friend was interpreting the motive behind the villians' actions and based upon the context of the story and the pieces of the narrative, I interpreted it otherwise. I asked myself this morning... am I observing life the same way I'm observing the Bible? Is all that I'm learning now leaking into my life as I travel through day-to-day events and come across differences of opinion? I tell you... I love Bible college! Thank you Lord for my growth as an expositor and the ready memory of the principles I'm learning!
Finally I wanted to say that I've been praying (if I haven't said already) about if the Lord may want me to be a pastor... but not just that, a missions pastor? I spoke briefly with a professor of mine who was a missions pastor for 9 years. It never occurred to me that one could pastor a flock and in a way be a missionary as well. He said people in other countries have a lot less tools to study the Word than we do here and someone who has had a formal Bible education would have a significant advantage and a significant amount to bring to a people of another country. Immediately my mind dreamed into a future of teaching Hermeneutics and how to study the Bible to people who don't even have a concordance. I could imagine my heart being warmed when they grasp the basic principles of interpretation and Theology and soak up the spiritual milk and meat of the Word. I've always loved to see new believers learn and grow in Christ. Please be with me in prayer as I consider this and seek God's will.
Prayer requests:
-Mormons at the park and Mormon at work
-The seeds sown over break in the hearts of the others at work
-Missions pastor?
-Efficiency and diligence in reading for the remainder of the break
Monday, February 25, 2008
Old Attraction and The Elusive Dollar
So I was at my PCM Sunday... I can't believe I spent about 10 hours studying to teach! But that will make it easier on me this week I think. As the folks were leaving, I stood by the door to shake hands and say bye. One lady in particular bounced up to me, poked my chest, and said "you're the one I've been looking for!" I oblviously said, "oh yeah?" For someone reason I had pure thoughts like, "maybe she heard about our service or wanted prayer...) I wasn't that lucky. Her friend pulled her arm and they left. It later occurred to me that her intentions were prolly not spiritual in any way! And this is a retirement home! Why is it that I seem to attract the strangest people!? That one goes right next to that Transvestite that winked at me in the mall years ago and the gay guys in the grocery store checkout lines that give those looks. I'm scared... truly.
I've been still struggling with finding work. However I'm glad to say I've been trusting God more. If he wants me here, I'll stay and it will all work out. I've sent out 5 resumes just today. One of which contacted me back and it was a money laundering employer with a Swiss bank account. I emailed them back and asked their company name and website. It seems a bit too good to be true for someone to just send you large amounts of money and tell you to take a cut out of it and send it somewhere else through Western Union. Sounds a bit fishy, eh? they wrote back with a copy/paste of the first email only to add "we don't yet have a website." ...yeah... riiiiiight. So the search continues! I just stay constant in prayer and hit the interent each day in search. I trust something turns up soon, because I still dunno where I'll be for Spring Break and it's less than 2 weeks away. Lord, please provide!!!
I'm also in prayer for the Lord's protection with the rest of the student outreach team that does street ministry here in the subway tunnels. The police have been harassing us like nobody's business every single night we go out. I haven't experienced this much opposition before. We even tried to get permits and they're either changing policies or just making it difficult for us. We can't even work within their own system to cooperate when we don't even legally have to!!! It's getting ridiculous. A buddy and I wasted a good chunk of time today only to be turned away because we didn't have Illinois licenses and it was 12 minutes past the time they preferred. It was rather frustrating. One of our guys is taking the legal route so we can get this resolved once and for all... we hope. I suppose I was naive in thinking I wouldn't have to pray this fervently about legitimate persecution. May I not get a martyr complex! May I stay humble and continue serving the Lord!
I've been still struggling with finding work. However I'm glad to say I've been trusting God more. If he wants me here, I'll stay and it will all work out. I've sent out 5 resumes just today. One of which contacted me back and it was a money laundering employer with a Swiss bank account. I emailed them back and asked their company name and website. It seems a bit too good to be true for someone to just send you large amounts of money and tell you to take a cut out of it and send it somewhere else through Western Union. Sounds a bit fishy, eh? they wrote back with a copy/paste of the first email only to add "we don't yet have a website." ...yeah... riiiiiight. So the search continues! I just stay constant in prayer and hit the interent each day in search. I trust something turns up soon, because I still dunno where I'll be for Spring Break and it's less than 2 weeks away. Lord, please provide!!!
I'm also in prayer for the Lord's protection with the rest of the student outreach team that does street ministry here in the subway tunnels. The police have been harassing us like nobody's business every single night we go out. I haven't experienced this much opposition before. We even tried to get permits and they're either changing policies or just making it difficult for us. We can't even work within their own system to cooperate when we don't even legally have to!!! It's getting ridiculous. A buddy and I wasted a good chunk of time today only to be turned away because we didn't have Illinois licenses and it was 12 minutes past the time they preferred. It was rather frustrating. One of our guys is taking the legal route so we can get this resolved once and for all... we hope. I suppose I was naive in thinking I wouldn't have to pray this fervently about legitimate persecution. May I not get a martyr complex! May I stay humble and continue serving the Lord!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Life, Confrontation, and Ministry
Time flies, doesn't it? It's amazing to think it's nearly Midterm time. My time here thus far has been rewarding and yet busy. I know it will only get busier. Yet through it all, God is good and worthy of all praise. Recently we had the annual Lipsync. Apparently it was earlier this year and as a result there weren't as many performances. I was planning not to go due to the workload I had and the fact that there was a small fee this year. That didn't stop a few of the girls from our sister floor from calling me up and offering to pay my way. Needless to say... I'm a wimp. So it was a good show and didn't last the full amount of time scheduled, which still allowed me to only be up till about 1:30am finishing a massive paper. The guy who won 2nd place was on our floor. I thought he shoulda got first. Among other songs, he did Billy Jean and was an awesome dancer. He even dressed the part real well. (Apparently, we're allowed to dance at the Lipsync as long as we're lipsyncing).
I'm still searching for a job. The 2 interviews I've had wouldn't yield stable income. Frankly, I'm getting to the point where it doesn't matter what kind of income it would yield. I've been checking Craigslist every day and have sent out resumes to multiple places. I also have an application in process with the facilities crew here on campus. I got a call last night for a Cashier position at a nearby University that will pay less than I want, but would be stable. We're still setting up an interview. Also another grocery store chain listed openings in Deli and Produce yesterday. That almost seemed like divine intervention when I saw it. We'll see where that goes. I truly think God has been testing my faith in this. I've struggled so much in the past month by walking by sight and not by faith to the degree I should. I'm coming to the place I was before I got here... "Lord, if you want me here, you'll provide... if you don't, you won't" and then just keep truckin with the simple faith of a child.
All of that also determines what I'm doing for Spring Break. The deadline was yesterday to turn in the paperwork to stay on campus over break, but it would cost around $150 + food to stay unless I have a campus job. Furthermore, you can't stay at all unless you prove you have some kind of job here. So I decided I'll now do one of two things: 1. Go home and attempt to setup work there with Tom Thumb again or 2. Stay with someone who lives nearby here and commute to whatever job I get here during break. The problem is with the commute, I might have to pay a bit more for extra transportation, which would be almost the same amount as staying on campus. So my decisions in the coming weeks will be a difficult one. I would get cheaper plane tickets than normal I went home though...?
I'm glad to be learning so much as well. My two favorite classes are Studying and Teaching the Bible and The Church and its Doctrines. They are entry level classes, yet they are filling in the gaps for me. If there were aspects of the Trinity I was confused about... those are clearer, if there was something I was overlooking in my reading of the Bible... I'm more prone to see it now. Our basic Theology textbook is "A Faith For All Seasons" By Ted Dorman. It's one of the books I'm sure I'll keep and use in the future... even if part of it accidentally fell in the toilet (it was clean I assure you).
-I've been enjoying my practical ministry as well. It seems each week I become more and more confident and plow new ground in Bible Exposition. I'm also trying to get to know the residents better. Part of me wishes we had more time with them. It's so difficult to lead a ministry only once a week and try to be active in people's lives. More than that, to encourage and get to know your team. I've been trying to cultivate an atmosphere like that and thankfully God is working among us on both fronts... although I wish it was more. True ministry is hardly done once a week. Along those lines and because of my struggles in trusting God, I decided to make an extra effort to go out with Student Outreach this past week and continue preaching the precious gospel of salvation. I've had a such a burden to continue doing this and I find that when times are tough spiritually... the best thing to do is amp up our service to the Lord because it's in those times that walk the opposite direction of the flesh. What happens when trials come? We not only trust God and continue, we step further. May God use those 2 days for His glory and may my focus be where it needs to be. Consequently, it also gave me a taste of what working would be like. That was a good 6 hours out of my week, which will be nothing compared to the 15-20 I'll work when I get a job.
The team enjoyed my company and called me "an asset." Oh Lord keep me humble! It's not about me... it's about YOU! I told the people at Concord Place Sunday morning that when they say I did a good job, I've reached a place where I can say thank you and not feel prideful inside, but I'm still not there yet. My internal and external should say, "To God be the glory forever and ever... amen." Being outside so much last week, I also got a 2 day taste of a little flu as well. One of the Student Outreach leaders picked up the same kinda thing. I felt like a zombie yesterday. So I've been praying about the PCM ministries I'm involved in... which should I choose for next semester? The one I need more practice in, but requires more prep.? Or the other one for which I also have a passion? If I plan to take Greek Grammar and OT Survey both next semester, will I be able to set aside about 6 hours or more to prepare a sermon each week? God help me! I want to teach and I want to preach, which should I do?
Another burden rising up in me is one that is not so public just yet... at least until I hit the "publish post" button. That's alright though, I can't always be shy about my opinions these days. I've always desired for my journal to be an open book. Take it as you please and discuss it with me as you wish... but it's coming out of my mind today! Another burden I've had recently is in that of the evangelistic perspective here... in the PCM office and perhaps the school itself in some ways. I understand these views are common and I consider all of this in light of my "holy crusader" past when I would charge at people who did anything "wrong" in my opinion. I consider all that as I mention what I do today and continue to pray for God's guidance and the tender spirit of speaking the truth in love. I've noticed the common thread of not only the fringes of the modern gospel (not it... what surrounds it), but an emphasis on unintentional evangelism. In fact, the core class textbook is titled, "Permission Evangelism." I can say little else about it or the class until I've taken it however. I wouldn't wanna throw stones at it if the evidence hasn't even been reviewed, nor would I want to come off as a rash new student who just wants to ignorantly fight his cause.
I don't intend to start a revolution and the Braveheart of a small representation of the student body, but merely ask "have you considered this?" "please pray about this..." If that's as far as it goes, then I've done my part and been obedient to the burden laid on me. I must also use constructive criticism, however. I cannot forget this! We can't criticize a model without suggestions. This only leads to it falling on deaf ears or changes that miss the point and/or that we end up still complaining about. What I can rejoice in, is that the street team here is full of leadership who believe in biblical evangelism... more specifically, who believe in the (I believe) most effectively biblical form of sharing the message of eternal life... the preparation of the heart through the law of God. Their tracts are biblical and they teach the principles to the team before going out. They recently were asked to teach the Graduate students the principles and take them out as well. What a blessing! I wish I could've gone! Other ideas from the influence of the Student Outreach team are also turning in the minds of those leading it. More than that, we have some professors who understand and have a more biblical perspective!
Recently, the Intro To Ministry class led by the PCM dept. held a day where the class split up as they wanted... and learned "how to lead an (adult, teen, child) to Christ." I saw this and rolled my eyes. My immediate thought was, "the Holy Spirit leads people to Christ... we only share the message... we don't have to 'close the deal'." I almost decided to skip class that day. Instead I chose to go to the one I was least acquainted with how to approach... children. Apparently they called in a guy from Child Evangelism Fellowship to teach the group. I was very impressed with his presentation and perspective. Afterward we talked about it. I thanked him greatly for his presentation and we exchanged business cards. I introduced him to Way of The Master, although he had already used it based on the same principles. Isn't it wonderful that it's based around the Word of God and not Ray Comfort? So much so that believers have figured it out already? I praise God for the power of His Word. So we have these strands of influence in biblical evangelism throughout the school and associated with the school already. But how do we harmonize all of this? How do we get on the same page? This is fundamental question.
Dr. Easley, the school's President made a good point today as well about Gratitude. He asked the students questions like, "do you realize how blessed you are that some little old lady is selling bonds and giving to the school because she met 2 godly women from Moody Bible Institute and wants to help them get through school?" I was so thankful for that. Since I've been here I've heard all kinds of complaints and immature jokes about the Student Dining Room or that the Diversity chapel wasn't a good representation of diversity or whatever else and I'm frankly sick of them! I would echo Dr. Easley who said, "If you don't like it, leave... because there are four more students that are ready to take your place." These aren't theological concerns. They aren't moral concerns. They are STUPID COMPLAINTS! As I sat to eat breakfast this morning it aggrivated me to tolerate the immature words of those behind me as they made themselves out to be high school kids with their comments and murmuring. Even outside that I've heard Moody students using profanity. I've heard vulgar jokes of sexual innuendo. I hear racist jokes. Then I must take a breath and remember two things: 1. Sanctification is a process and 2. Just because a person is at Bible college does not mean they know the Lord. I can see myself standing up on a cafeteria table and yelling, "Students of Moody, Listen! Are you here to serve, know, and grow or because your parents wanted you to be here!?" As I mentally place one foot on the table, God taps me on the shoulder. We need not pull out the tares among the wheat... God will take precious care of that.
I suppose I've been on my written soapbox long enough.
Current prayer list:
-Gus, as he considers joining the Orthodox Presbyterian Church
-Johnny and Christina
-Dustin and his paper
-Earl: possible cancer
-Finding some income (job)
-Encouraging my roommate in priorities and a holy life
-What should I do for PCM next semester?
-How, if, and when should I approach the PCM office/possibly the school about evangelism?
-Ministering to the residents at Concord Place
I'm still searching for a job. The 2 interviews I've had wouldn't yield stable income. Frankly, I'm getting to the point where it doesn't matter what kind of income it would yield. I've been checking Craigslist every day and have sent out resumes to multiple places. I also have an application in process with the facilities crew here on campus. I got a call last night for a Cashier position at a nearby University that will pay less than I want, but would be stable. We're still setting up an interview. Also another grocery store chain listed openings in Deli and Produce yesterday. That almost seemed like divine intervention when I saw it. We'll see where that goes. I truly think God has been testing my faith in this. I've struggled so much in the past month by walking by sight and not by faith to the degree I should. I'm coming to the place I was before I got here... "Lord, if you want me here, you'll provide... if you don't, you won't" and then just keep truckin with the simple faith of a child.
All of that also determines what I'm doing for Spring Break. The deadline was yesterday to turn in the paperwork to stay on campus over break, but it would cost around $150 + food to stay unless I have a campus job. Furthermore, you can't stay at all unless you prove you have some kind of job here. So I decided I'll now do one of two things: 1. Go home and attempt to setup work there with Tom Thumb again or 2. Stay with someone who lives nearby here and commute to whatever job I get here during break. The problem is with the commute, I might have to pay a bit more for extra transportation, which would be almost the same amount as staying on campus. So my decisions in the coming weeks will be a difficult one. I would get cheaper plane tickets than normal I went home though...?
I'm glad to be learning so much as well. My two favorite classes are Studying and Teaching the Bible and The Church and its Doctrines. They are entry level classes, yet they are filling in the gaps for me. If there were aspects of the Trinity I was confused about... those are clearer, if there was something I was overlooking in my reading of the Bible... I'm more prone to see it now. Our basic Theology textbook is "A Faith For All Seasons" By Ted Dorman. It's one of the books I'm sure I'll keep and use in the future... even if part of it accidentally fell in the toilet (it was clean I assure you).
-I've been enjoying my practical ministry as well. It seems each week I become more and more confident and plow new ground in Bible Exposition. I'm also trying to get to know the residents better. Part of me wishes we had more time with them. It's so difficult to lead a ministry only once a week and try to be active in people's lives. More than that, to encourage and get to know your team. I've been trying to cultivate an atmosphere like that and thankfully God is working among us on both fronts... although I wish it was more. True ministry is hardly done once a week. Along those lines and because of my struggles in trusting God, I decided to make an extra effort to go out with Student Outreach this past week and continue preaching the precious gospel of salvation. I've had a such a burden to continue doing this and I find that when times are tough spiritually... the best thing to do is amp up our service to the Lord because it's in those times that walk the opposite direction of the flesh. What happens when trials come? We not only trust God and continue, we step further. May God use those 2 days for His glory and may my focus be where it needs to be. Consequently, it also gave me a taste of what working would be like. That was a good 6 hours out of my week, which will be nothing compared to the 15-20 I'll work when I get a job.
The team enjoyed my company and called me "an asset." Oh Lord keep me humble! It's not about me... it's about YOU! I told the people at Concord Place Sunday morning that when they say I did a good job, I've reached a place where I can say thank you and not feel prideful inside, but I'm still not there yet. My internal and external should say, "To God be the glory forever and ever... amen." Being outside so much last week, I also got a 2 day taste of a little flu as well. One of the Student Outreach leaders picked up the same kinda thing. I felt like a zombie yesterday. So I've been praying about the PCM ministries I'm involved in... which should I choose for next semester? The one I need more practice in, but requires more prep.? Or the other one for which I also have a passion? If I plan to take Greek Grammar and OT Survey both next semester, will I be able to set aside about 6 hours or more to prepare a sermon each week? God help me! I want to teach and I want to preach, which should I do?
Another burden rising up in me is one that is not so public just yet... at least until I hit the "publish post" button. That's alright though, I can't always be shy about my opinions these days. I've always desired for my journal to be an open book. Take it as you please and discuss it with me as you wish... but it's coming out of my mind today! Another burden I've had recently is in that of the evangelistic perspective here... in the PCM office and perhaps the school itself in some ways. I understand these views are common and I consider all of this in light of my "holy crusader" past when I would charge at people who did anything "wrong" in my opinion. I consider all that as I mention what I do today and continue to pray for God's guidance and the tender spirit of speaking the truth in love. I've noticed the common thread of not only the fringes of the modern gospel (not it... what surrounds it), but an emphasis on unintentional evangelism. In fact, the core class textbook is titled, "Permission Evangelism." I can say little else about it or the class until I've taken it however. I wouldn't wanna throw stones at it if the evidence hasn't even been reviewed, nor would I want to come off as a rash new student who just wants to ignorantly fight his cause.
I don't intend to start a revolution and the Braveheart of a small representation of the student body, but merely ask "have you considered this?" "please pray about this..." If that's as far as it goes, then I've done my part and been obedient to the burden laid on me. I must also use constructive criticism, however. I cannot forget this! We can't criticize a model without suggestions. This only leads to it falling on deaf ears or changes that miss the point and/or that we end up still complaining about. What I can rejoice in, is that the street team here is full of leadership who believe in biblical evangelism... more specifically, who believe in the (I believe) most effectively biblical form of sharing the message of eternal life... the preparation of the heart through the law of God. Their tracts are biblical and they teach the principles to the team before going out. They recently were asked to teach the Graduate students the principles and take them out as well. What a blessing! I wish I could've gone! Other ideas from the influence of the Student Outreach team are also turning in the minds of those leading it. More than that, we have some professors who understand and have a more biblical perspective!
Recently, the Intro To Ministry class led by the PCM dept. held a day where the class split up as they wanted... and learned "how to lead an (adult, teen, child) to Christ." I saw this and rolled my eyes. My immediate thought was, "the Holy Spirit leads people to Christ... we only share the message... we don't have to 'close the deal'." I almost decided to skip class that day. Instead I chose to go to the one I was least acquainted with how to approach... children. Apparently they called in a guy from Child Evangelism Fellowship to teach the group. I was very impressed with his presentation and perspective. Afterward we talked about it. I thanked him greatly for his presentation and we exchanged business cards. I introduced him to Way of The Master, although he had already used it based on the same principles. Isn't it wonderful that it's based around the Word of God and not Ray Comfort? So much so that believers have figured it out already? I praise God for the power of His Word. So we have these strands of influence in biblical evangelism throughout the school and associated with the school already. But how do we harmonize all of this? How do we get on the same page? This is fundamental question.
Dr. Easley, the school's President made a good point today as well about Gratitude. He asked the students questions like, "do you realize how blessed you are that some little old lady is selling bonds and giving to the school because she met 2 godly women from Moody Bible Institute and wants to help them get through school?" I was so thankful for that. Since I've been here I've heard all kinds of complaints and immature jokes about the Student Dining Room or that the Diversity chapel wasn't a good representation of diversity or whatever else and I'm frankly sick of them! I would echo Dr. Easley who said, "If you don't like it, leave... because there are four more students that are ready to take your place." These aren't theological concerns. They aren't moral concerns. They are STUPID COMPLAINTS! As I sat to eat breakfast this morning it aggrivated me to tolerate the immature words of those behind me as they made themselves out to be high school kids with their comments and murmuring. Even outside that I've heard Moody students using profanity. I've heard vulgar jokes of sexual innuendo. I hear racist jokes. Then I must take a breath and remember two things: 1. Sanctification is a process and 2. Just because a person is at Bible college does not mean they know the Lord. I can see myself standing up on a cafeteria table and yelling, "Students of Moody, Listen! Are you here to serve, know, and grow or because your parents wanted you to be here!?" As I mentally place one foot on the table, God taps me on the shoulder. We need not pull out the tares among the wheat... God will take precious care of that.
I suppose I've been on my written soapbox long enough.
Current prayer list:
-Gus, as he considers joining the Orthodox Presbyterian Church
-Johnny and Christina
-Dustin and his paper
-Earl: possible cancer
-Finding some income (job)
-Encouraging my roommate in priorities and a holy life
-What should I do for PCM next semester?
-How, if, and when should I approach the PCM office/possibly the school about evangelism?
-Ministering to the residents at Concord Place
Friday, January 25, 2008
Internal Revival, Open and Honest
"Preaching makes me well; As soon as I open my mouth to speak, my weariness is forgotten."
-Chrysostom
This afternoon I was reading one of my textbooks for the class I'm taking that is most directed toward my major. The book is called "The Company of The Preachers" By David Larsen. This chapter spoke of some of the early church fathers ending with Augustine. I chose to study in library for the first time and it was refreshingly quiet. I spent a couple hours reading with a brief nap at the beginning. As I neared the end of the chapter, I had a kind of renewal of the reason and passion for why I'm here. I'm probably clearer headed right now than I have been since I've moved in here. It was as if God worked in the quiet (as he often does for me) to spark a small revival in my heart and mind. The Spirit cut through the anxious worrying perspective I've battled with since I've been here and reminded me of who I am in Christ and who I've been called to be in this lifetime.
I've yet to preach since I've been here and as a guy on my floor so rightly suggested... I have "the itch." That compulsion to preach that can only be satisfied by indulgence in such a practice that is a good thing to call a habit or obsession in light of the calling and commission. I simply have a burden to preach. I've been looking through Adrian Rogers' biography and I didn't know he spent some time street preaching... standing on a bench, no less. This Sunday I get to teach God's Word and am excited to do so, yet I struggle with a feeling of inadequacy. I'm blown away by the things I can learn while here and I want to be the most effective as I handle God's holy Word. I don't want to misinterpret or miss even one kernal of truth in one verse. However I ultimately face the fact that God's Word is and always will be living and active and I will always be constantly learning from it as I pursue my future in ministry. I'm reminded that good decisions are VERY often made by bad decisions and accuracy is often molded by mistakes that teach us. I suppose my task is to humbly submit to the fact that God will sanctify me in His good timing. It's not an easy thing however to just use what you know and let God do the rest. It's all in attitude. I'm certainly teachable, but I worry about how the correction will come. May the Lord calm my spirit in this.
Oh how I wish I would be able to better be a brother to my brothers and sisters here... God constantly reminds me of how fragile I can be... all the emotional turmoil... all the concientiousness and introspective noise... the mroe I think about it, the more I'm amazed at the fact that God saved ME!!! Furthermore, how can God use ME for ministry? We talked about this in a class recently here... even through all this, I give Him glory... but do I praise him enough? What a blessing I have been given! There have been days here when I forget the supernatural way God brought me here. I've heard many stories form other students that also miraculous... one of whom was given $4,000 just to go here! God is good! Wednesday we had a worship chapel with nothing but worship for 45 minutes. It felt like 15 minutes. Thursday the speaker couldn't make it and it became the same. If onyl I could play piano or guitar or something... I would worship God in that way ever day.
Last night my roommate told me that I often talk in my sleep. He and his friend said it could be because I have a lot on my mind. that makes me wonder if I did that at home... I seem to always have a lot on my mind. Some of the things that are on my mind at the moment are 1. Trusting God for income (I've applied to campus security) 2. Staying focused (inwardly) 3. Remaining humble 4. Encouraging/showing grace toward my roommate 5. Building friendships that will last (male ones and... no-pressure female ones) 6. Getting enough sleep/Staying awake in classes 7. Will I prepare enough to teach on Sundays each week? 8. Will I have to fork out a bunch of money for a doctor's visit Tuesday? 9. What do the people around me think of me? (This one is so stupid, yet a struggle)
Well... I wonder if I should go and preach tonight by myself... that might be fun.
-Chrysostom
This afternoon I was reading one of my textbooks for the class I'm taking that is most directed toward my major. The book is called "The Company of The Preachers" By David Larsen. This chapter spoke of some of the early church fathers ending with Augustine. I chose to study in library for the first time and it was refreshingly quiet. I spent a couple hours reading with a brief nap at the beginning. As I neared the end of the chapter, I had a kind of renewal of the reason and passion for why I'm here. I'm probably clearer headed right now than I have been since I've moved in here. It was as if God worked in the quiet (as he often does for me) to spark a small revival in my heart and mind. The Spirit cut through the anxious worrying perspective I've battled with since I've been here and reminded me of who I am in Christ and who I've been called to be in this lifetime.
I've yet to preach since I've been here and as a guy on my floor so rightly suggested... I have "the itch." That compulsion to preach that can only be satisfied by indulgence in such a practice that is a good thing to call a habit or obsession in light of the calling and commission. I simply have a burden to preach. I've been looking through Adrian Rogers' biography and I didn't know he spent some time street preaching... standing on a bench, no less. This Sunday I get to teach God's Word and am excited to do so, yet I struggle with a feeling of inadequacy. I'm blown away by the things I can learn while here and I want to be the most effective as I handle God's holy Word. I don't want to misinterpret or miss even one kernal of truth in one verse. However I ultimately face the fact that God's Word is and always will be living and active and I will always be constantly learning from it as I pursue my future in ministry. I'm reminded that good decisions are VERY often made by bad decisions and accuracy is often molded by mistakes that teach us. I suppose my task is to humbly submit to the fact that God will sanctify me in His good timing. It's not an easy thing however to just use what you know and let God do the rest. It's all in attitude. I'm certainly teachable, but I worry about how the correction will come. May the Lord calm my spirit in this.
Oh how I wish I would be able to better be a brother to my brothers and sisters here... God constantly reminds me of how fragile I can be... all the emotional turmoil... all the concientiousness and introspective noise... the mroe I think about it, the more I'm amazed at the fact that God saved ME!!! Furthermore, how can God use ME for ministry? We talked about this in a class recently here... even through all this, I give Him glory... but do I praise him enough? What a blessing I have been given! There have been days here when I forget the supernatural way God brought me here. I've heard many stories form other students that also miraculous... one of whom was given $4,000 just to go here! God is good! Wednesday we had a worship chapel with nothing but worship for 45 minutes. It felt like 15 minutes. Thursday the speaker couldn't make it and it became the same. If onyl I could play piano or guitar or something... I would worship God in that way ever day.
Last night my roommate told me that I often talk in my sleep. He and his friend said it could be because I have a lot on my mind. that makes me wonder if I did that at home... I seem to always have a lot on my mind. Some of the things that are on my mind at the moment are 1. Trusting God for income (I've applied to campus security) 2. Staying focused (inwardly) 3. Remaining humble 4. Encouraging/showing grace toward my roommate 5. Building friendships that will last (male ones and... no-pressure female ones) 6. Getting enough sleep/Staying awake in classes 7. Will I prepare enough to teach on Sundays each week? 8. Will I have to fork out a bunch of money for a doctor's visit Tuesday? 9. What do the people around me think of me? (This one is so stupid, yet a struggle)
Well... I wonder if I should go and preach tonight by myself... that might be fun.
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