I wish I had so much more tiem to write... I enjoy it so. But I'm facing Greek and Old Testament studying still ahead of me and it's already about 9pm. At least we're not in the double digits yet, right? Some updates I will share in breakneck speed and sadly without the fervor I'd like to put into them...
I met with the Moody Radio gentleman to "claim" my job. Last semester he said he would have at least the one shift open for me... I filled out the application and all was well. I even called him over summer to let him know I was still interested. As he turned the corner I greeted him with a smile only for him to say, "you must be here for my son...?" (in a puzzled way). I gathered myself and reminded him of our meeting last semester to which he said he had no openings and gave the job to a broadcasting major. It was difficult to contain my sinking sadness that rushed through me. He took down my info in case the guy fell through. I left the 8th floor of the Crowell building furstrated and scared. I convinced myself that my only option was to return to the job I had formerly and work as many hours as it took (prolly 30) and pray that God would provide before my grades suffered. I shared this plan in a study to group and they smakced me over the head with, "Joseph! You're taking Greek and Old Testament. You'd get like 3 hours of sleep a night!" Then one of the new guys on our floor said, "If you had something firm there would be no room for faith." Inside I was somewhat paralyzed by that statement... it was true. "Aww man, I thought. They're right." I prayed today as I walked to my old job. They eagerly accepted my return. I'll be working 4 days instead my original 5 over there... which is the same as last semester. I start back this Saturday. I may even get Produce primarily instead of Deli. I feel like the 10 spies who looked at the "giants" and ran while Caleb and Joshua trusted God. If I walk by sight, my bank account says I may only be here for one more year. If I walk by faith... whatever happens is because of God's sovereignty and I can trust in Him regardless. I know He's brought me here for a reason. For every Moody student accepted there were 2 students who were not. May I never forget that and give glory to God alone.
I also am enjoying the study of preaching. I'm ahead in that class and not any other! I even decided to ask the prof about my "big idea" for my sermon in PCM coming up in just over a week. He was helpful, but boy was I nervous... fumbling my words... experiencing anxiety memory loss... and accidentially hitting my glasses with my hand... I'm such a basket case.
My 4th grade teacher emailed me today saying she wanted to invite me over before I left. I didn't expect an email from her. I gave her a call over summer to update her on what's happening in my life.
I got my new driver's license in the mail today!! Let's look at it... oh good... the picture isn't horrible.
Honest thoughts: Will I learn to trust God as I should? When? How? Is it timidity? Is it anxiety? Is it worry? Is it a combination of those things? Worry is a lack of trusting Him. Oh Lord, how do I trust You?
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