Witnessing Reports

4-12-13: “My Wife is Dying of Cancer You Idiot!”

Though there was a vulgar group of tattooed college aged kids singing filthy songs behind us trying to drown out the preaching in rebellion and Alex spoke with a drunk guy who couldn’t even say a clear sentence, our most interesting encounter this night began when a police officer told us there had been a complaint about our preaching. At that location (which had been the best one since the construction in downtown ft. worth there was an apartment building directly to our left. Other times we’ve seen people listening to the preaching out their window. I told the officer that I was surprised they could hear us over the loud vulgar singing of the other group. He said we could move to another location, lower our voices, or that we didn’t have to listen to him at all. While this is true, I was curious as to why he said that. He said an older man called making the complaints and that he complains about everything. We continued preaching however because the laws and ordinances allow us to preach for as long, as loud, and as late as we want without amplified sound. I suspected that this old man needed the gospel anyway.

As I was preaching later, I saw this old man storming across the street over to me and he kinda slapped me in the stomach, walked about 5 feet away, stopped, and said I need to talk to you RIGHT NOW! You need to come here RIGHT NOW! And he pointed to the ground in front of him. The slap felt like it wanted to be a punch because it stung. It occurred to me at that time that he had no authority to tell me to do any such thing. When he saw I wasn’t cooperating immediately, he stood a foot in front of me and yelled, “I’ve called the police and security ____ times!” “My wife is dying of cancer you idiot!” This was at about 8:30pm or so, so it wasn’t terribly late. My thought later though I don’t think I told him in the moment was that his wife having cancer just meant she needed what I had to say all the more… as did he. It’s interesting how when the police didn’t solve his problem he took matters into his own hands. This is what sin does. It only cooperates to it’s own interests. Unbelievers also think it selfish and offensive of us to preach in such circumstances, but God and other believers always rejoice when the gospel is preached. The bottom line is that it’s better for someone to be inconvenienced and hear the message that will save their souls than to be comfortable and yet comfortably headed to hell. I told we have a legal right to be there. He then called me a liar. I said I’d been doing it for a long time and I know. He then said I’d been a liar for all that time. The reality was he was hindering the gospel so as I was about to start preaching over him, Alex stepped in and asked him to step back a few times or he would call the police. He ignored this and said, “Call them!” Then Ron (an older gentleman) stepped in with the most unlikely response.

Ron interrupted the man and said if his wife has cancer then we need to pray for her. He didn’t respond favorably to that and eventually he saw a bicycle cop off to the side and said, “officer!” He went over to the police officer and I continued preaching. The officer told him I was legally allowed so he proceeded to yell at the rest of the group and stormed away. The group then prayed for him and his wife. Minutes later he stormed back and asked my wife for a gospel tract! While we don’t know his intentions for the tract, it could have been that God was already doing something in his heart.  


4-20-13: Main St. Arts Festival

The Main St. Arts Festival in downtown Ft. Worth, Sundance Square this year lasted from Thursday to Sunday night. A few went out Thursday night and we joined them late that night. We just handed out tracts and had one conversation with an intellectual guy who liked to debate everything we had to say. Near the end I finished the conversation with the same point I enjoy making with Atheists and Agnostics… “The truth is that you don’t need a good argument or better information because it’s not a head issue, but a heart issue. You know that if there was a God and the Bible is true then you would be subject to Him and would have to order your life around Him and that’s a terrifying thought. It’s so terrifying that you’ll believe anything but the truth or you’ll make up your own belief system to suit how you live. You do this because it’s more comfortable to feel like you’re in control of your life and free from moral standards.” Kirk Cameron used this in one of the episodes of The Way of The Master and I’ve never forgotten it. It really stops the mouth of the Atheist because they realize how true it is. On that particular episode the woman actually nodded in agreement with Kirk and in my case the guy did something similar.

Alex went out to preach by himself Friday night and my wife and I went out with him again Saturday night. When we got there Saturday I saw the same bagpipe player that tried to drown out the preaching 7 years ago when I went before. I was also struck with fear. I hadn’t been to such festivals in years and there were so many people. We handed out some tracts and I waited for Alex to arrive an hour later. When he did, we chose a good preaching location and he stood up first to preach. Alex preached 3-4 times as did I and our friend Ron preached once also. We had a number of hecklers, but only one of them was consistent. Alex had two women that pretended to be lesbians just to see what he would say about homosexuality and he said it was a sin. I had a large angry man who asked what I believed about the law and I told him believers aren’t under the law and he yelled that I was wrong. He said he was a messianic Jew and that we do have to keep the law. Apparently he hadn’t read Galatians, Romans, or Hebrews. The fun heckler was a man who ran the art booth to our right. We were positioned on the corner of Main St. and 3rd in front of a Jewelry store and the booth was in the street slightly to our right.

Minutes after I began preaching the artist running the booth walked up and stood a foot away from me yelling that I was stealing from him. He said he paid for that booth space and I was stealing business from him. I’m surprised he didn’t play the guitar he had to try to drown us out. I told him if he wanted to talk he could step back. He refused so I preached over him. Later Ron preached and Ron said the artists out there were merely mimicking what God had done in creation. God was the ultimate creator. The artist harassed him afterward claiming Ron was bashing the artists with his comment. Ron wasn’t bashing the artists however. He was merely explaining how good God was. A family from our church showed up to watch and hand out some tracts and after Alex and I were burnt out from preaching, some of us went to the restroom and returned only to find that another group of about 5-6 more people, some of them preachers had seemingly taken the next shift of the night (also right by that artist’s booth! Lol) and they weren’t bad either. Apparently one of them knew me by first and last name, even remembering what we talked about when we met years ago. We exchanged a few numbers.

The real excitement happened just as we were about to leave. Alex stood near the artist’s booth and was about to compliment him on his art (because Alex wants to study art himself and go to college for it), but the man turned around to argue with us again. He said he just finished a conversation with a woman who had cancer. She apparently stopped by earlier but wouldn’t talk because of the preaching. He told me these were “God-loving” people out at the festival who just wanted to have conversations, a peaceful time, and fun. I explained to him that we had freedom of speech in a public place, but that didn’t matter to him. I almost thought with the God-loving statement that he was claiming to be a Christian so I explained that the bottom line was that people who truly love God will rejoice at any circumstance that the gospel is preached. I said the fact that people were dying and going to hell is more important than people having conversations and having fun AND more important than making money. He opened his mouth in a hilariously wide fashion in utter shock at my saying something like that. It should have occurred to me sooner that if this man was opposing the preaching in the beginning, it had to mean he was not a Christian. A Christian rejoices at the preaching of the gospel. In fact we had a number of believers shake our hands while preaching and at one point an entire church group who said how encouraged they were by the preaching. The artist and his friend began asking what it would be like if they came to our place of business and began preaching. I told them I would rather lose my job and my money and the gospel be preached than to make money and it not be preached. Unbelievers can’t handle this kind of reasoning because as Scripture says… it is foolishness to them. This was a classic example of loving money more than God. They were more concerned with making money than they were people going to hell.

This wasn’t the end of it however. The artist was derailed by another guy out there witnessing who decided to continue the argument with him while his friend began arguing with me. He explained that we could have preached there for 30 minutes and moved to a different location. I certainly understood his reasoning, but what if we did that do you think he would see that gesture and go to bed that night thinking he should get saved? Possibly, but not probably. We’d also run into the same problem anywhere else we moved. We couldn’t move away from the booths as another artist suggested because that’s not where the people were. Frankly we didn’t legally have to move and though it may sound harsh, I wasn’t concerned with the artists making money nor was I concerned with them “feeling better” about us. Unbelievers take as many liberties as they can. If we compromise with them on one thing, they’ll likely push for another until we have such things like “free speech locations” on public college campuses where they try to regulate a 1st Amendment right, thereby restricting freedom not permitting it. I was unwilling to move, if for no other reason that this artist and his friend would be themselves be flooded with the gospel message… because they clearly needed it. The bottom line was that the gospel is more important than their money and their business. In the grand scheme of eternity, this has to be true. An eternal perspective realizes this and acts accordingly.

My wife nudged me to bring to my attention to the fact that the conversation was going nowhere so I motioned to Alex that we should go. We'd already been there for about 5 hours. The artist’s friend at this point began yelling and chasing us back to our vehicle. He angrily stomped beside me causing a scene as we walked yelling at me that I was selfish, that I was not acting like a Christian, and saying this was how it feels to be bothered when you can’t do anything about it. It’s interesting that I was apparently the selfish one considering their concern was money over souls. As we walked I knew that if something wasn’t done he would follow us to our vehicle and I didn’t want him to know what we drove or where we parked so I took us into Barnes n Noble for refuge. He knew he couldn’t yell in there so he cussed at us as we walked in and left. We were then able to call security to escort us to our vehicles. Such a good lesson in the sinful nature. I truly believe that if Christians really were on the frontlines sharing their faith they would see this level of depravity and rebellion toward God in all its glory. Their eyes would be opened to just how much the world needs the hard truths of judgment, hell, and repentance. We must speak the truth in love, not simply speak love. To share grace without truth is remove the reason for the grace in the beginning.

Isaiah 40 and The Greatness of God

I've been reading through Isaiah and recently I've come to Ch.40. These few chapters in the book are SO God-exalting that I couldnt help but write a bit from them.

"...All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades, When the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever." (40:6c-8)

Here we're reminded that men are small before God. Isaiah uses a metaphor here to say flesh "is" grass. We know this isn't literal. The imagery here is clear though. All of us can relate to seeing grass in all its' glory. We've seen a grassy field when it's a healthy crisp dark green and we've seen it as a short crumbly yellow. We've seen flowers when they're fully bloomed and beautiful and we've seen the petals fallen, curled up, and dried. Here Isaiah says the life of the grass and the life of the flower is in the hand of the Lord... or more specifically in the "breath" of the Lord. This tells us God is the giver of life and secondarily He is in charge of the seasons and the weather. That makes me wonder... we sure do complain a lot about the weather don't we? It's almost never how we want it... it's either too hot or too cold. I wonder how our perspective might change if we see the weather as God's will and God's doing. If we did, perhaps we wouldn't complain... we'd have a small daily reminder to accept what God is doing even when it isn't comfortable for us. If we can do that with the weather... it might be easier for us to roll with what God is doing when He does things differently in the bigger areas of our lives, huh?

God also holds human life in His hands. Again, this reminds us of the attitude we are to have when loved ones die. When life is given and when life is taken... it's of God. We need to sift through our emotions to see that God's wisdom, timing, and decisions are by nature greater than our minds could ever fully understand. We shouldn't complain therefore, but should trust that He knows what He's doing. God made us emotional beings in His image, but we must submit those emotions to Him. Our emotions are subject being influenced by our unsanctified flesh. We can experience circumstances in life that help us allow our emotions to crash forth in floods. These floods of emotion that often come from pain are what crowd out wisdom and a biblical understanding of the character of God and the truths of His Word. This is partly why we sin as believers... we allow our circumstances to affect our human emotions to such an extent that we forget the commands, truths, and words of God in Scripture. When we forget those things we act on our emotions too quickly and fall into sin. I believe this is the case for MUCH of our sin in life.

This is why v.8 says "the word of our God stands forever." The word of God stands beyond withering grass, weather, and fading human life. It's the Word of God we are to stand on. Time and seasons pass. People die. Our constant in all this however is the living Word of our God. He knows seasons pass and people die... in fact, it's all in His capable hands. We must therefore look at these things and be drawn not to our emotions or self help books, but to THE book of God's written revelation.

V.12-14 continue to exalt God. He carefully created the earth. He "measured," "marked off," "calculated," and "weighed" the elements as only He could do. Evolution couldn't do this. Evolution works practically by accident or as it goes, right? The principle of Evolution is that it adapts to its' surroundings. God didn't have to do that. He did it all from the beginning. He planned the end from the beginning. Nothing surprises Him. We find similar statements in v.22 as He "stretches out the heavens like a curtain." In v.26 we learn that God put an exact number of stars and has names for the stars in the sky and that according to his plan and purpose... "not one of them is missing." Evolution didn't do this... a sovereign God with purpose did it.

Look back at v.15-20. Here God is contrasted with the other nations, those who think they are powerful. Scripture says "they are like a drop in the bucket." A drop is pretty small. Put a drop of water in a bucket and hold it out in the sun... it dries up quickly. A comparison is a consideration of similarities and a contrast is a consideration of differences. Here God is contrasted with the nations. Lebanon is mentioned specifically. This contrast culminates in v.18-20 where we are asked rhetorically, "To whom then will you liken God? Or what likeness will you compare with Him? As for the idol, a craftsman casts it, a goldsmith plates it with gold, and a silversmith fashions chains of silver. He who is too impoverished for such an offering selects a tree that does not rot; he seeks out for himself a skillful craftsman to prepare an idol that will not totter." The implication is that nothing can compare to God!

What I find interesting here though is that with all the Bible's talk (especially the OT) of idols and with all God's righteous hatred of idols... we're never told the process idol worshipers went through. This passage gives incredible detail. It says there are idols for rich people and idols for poor. Think about this... idolatry was a business in Bible times. Idols were merchandise that different grades and quality. I believe we're given this information not just as historical data... in fact I don't think that was its' purpose here at all. These details of idol manufacturing are given to us in subtle sarcasm. Imagine how much thought went into idol making, idol sales and purchases, idol advertising, etc. Can you see why God hated it so much? To say idolatry was premeditated is an understatement. People bought idols like we would buy furniture or a television. It was commonplace, tolerated, household sin. Today the issue isn't so much material idols in the way described in Isaiah, but mental idols. We spend just as much time forming, crafting, thinking about, and nursing an infatuation of other idols in our minds. For humanity these idols could be false gods that are ok with the way they're living. A false god doesn't judge us and only considers things sinful when we do.

Finally the classic passage in Isaiah 40 is at the end in v.29-31,

"He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
30 Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
31 Yet those who [l]wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will [m]mount up with [n]wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary."

Here we're told God gives strength. He gives it to those who wait on Him. Often times of waiting are the hardest times. The waiting itself can make us grow weary and tired. We find renewal however in waiting not simply for the sake of waiting, but waiting "on the Lord." When our waiting is focused on God we're reminded again that He is in charge and if there's anyone we can wait on AND trust in... it's God. Waiting on God never brings disappointment.

Thank you Lord for Isaiah 40. :)

Updates and speaking of dates...

Hello again blog,
We’ve been apart for some time now it feels. It’s hard to believe the last time I wrote was in late October. Let me update a bit. Life has been good and I’m still taking it easy. I find that on some levels I’m still healing from my last breakup. It’s been a challenge at times to re-examine my thoughts on how I view God’s leading, how view the way relationships should be done, how I view the emotions of a woman. I’ve asked a lot of questions and done a lot of thinking and talking with friends. I’m glad to say that through all my speculation I’m sure the Lord has it all figured out and this takes some pressure off. My approach has been to simply have the faith of a child. A child doesn’t worry about where their next meal will come from or if they’ll have a roof over their head tomorrow or any of that. A child has a simple faith. As I’ve had time to take a step back and rethink some things, I’ve come to realize just how much we can complicate life. Trying to discern and read God can really come back to bite you if you put too much weight on what you think He’s doing. It’s one thing to trust God for your future, but it’s whole different thing to trust God for the future that you want for yourself and get upset when He starts doing something different.
I continue to recover and regroup emotionally and spiritually. I say I’ve taken things a day at a time because frankly that’s all I’ve had strength to do. I’m healing well however, growing still, drawing near to Him, and pursuing Him where He has me today. I’ve realized that it takes more faith to trust God when I truly don’t know what’s next than it does to trust Him for what I in my mind THINKS is next. I’m tired of worrying what’s next. The interior repair job is going well. It can be hard at times learning new things and getting frustrated when I mess it up. It’s a fun job though. I look forward to getting better and doing it well. The pool job let me go. The owner wanted to fire one of his employees and seemed to have all these dreams of hiring me on full time eventually to take his place. He talked it up real big even though I told him I’d given my other job a 2 year commitment. I worked at the pool job part time for a little while until he asked me one day if I was good with going full time in January. I told him again I had given my word to the other job. I was willing to work part time for the pool job until God closed the door on it and I went full time with the other one or until something else happened. I don’t know the future but I was willing to continue and let God do what He wanted to do. The night before my next workday at just after 10pm the owner sent me a text message and let me go, saying my last paychecks would be taped to his door. I was disappointed he did it over text message and that he was willing to move forward and expect me to break the commitment I’d given to the other job for him. What would it have said of me if I couldn’t keep my word with someone else? I’m glad God did this however. There was a lot of drama with that company that I was brought into unnecessarily and I just trust that God was protecting me from something He didn’t want for me. I’ve picked up some construction work with my pastor and am working my main job part time. Looks like I’ve been learning a lot of new things lately.
Still leading music at church and teaching every now and then. I got to do almost the entire Christmas service… it was stressful with so much on my shoulders and a number of technical difficulties all happening at once, but we pulled it off! The gospel was preached, though I could’ve been a little deeper and had more application I think. It was a simple message. My friend and I are talking of teaching an evangelism class. I’ve dreamed of doing that for some time. We’d probably start with the youth and see how it would go with the adults. We’ll see if it actually happens this time, lol. It takes a lot of planning and commitment to do something like that.
Other than that, I’m pleased to announce I’ve quit the world of online dating. I met a wonderful woman on Christianmingle. We chatted for about a week, then dated a few times over a period of about a month, then we decided to tell the others we were talking to that we planned to invest in eachother. We agreed that the next logical step was make it official. Since her parents aren’t believers, I pursued the man who she considers her spiritual father, asked his blessing, and we’ve been together for about 2 months now. I never thought I’d ever agree to just casual dating, but this was different. It wasn’t without direction or without talk of serious things. She’s 23 and has been saved for about 6 years. She’s the only believer in her family as I am. Strangely enough we have a very similar personality mix, though that ultimately isn’t a big deal for me… it’s just a plus. Being with her has shown me just how much Choleric is mixed into my personality or is at least learned. It’s interesting how well we can interact, joke, and yet have deep conversations. Beyond all this, it’s been so refreshing for me to actually feel wanted for the man who God has made me. For so long now and especially recently I’ve felt so rejected. For so long I’d heard things like, “Joseph, you’re a great guy, but…” I’d heard it in so many ways that I was growing so tired. I’d also shown it in so many ways as best I could… with the women in my life as friends and even those whom I was interested in and when I was in a relationship. It just seemed however that no matter how much I did, no matter how hard I tried, no matter much I tried to show love, leadership, and protection to my sisters in Christ… when it came to more than friends, it was always met with the message that it wasn’t good enough for one reason or another. I kept asking God why He made me the man I am and why He taught me what He had only for it to be rejected. It seems that only a woman who had been treated badly, who couldn’t find a man with the courage to pursue, who was willing to give and be vulnerable but was tired of being taken advantage of… only this kind of woman could appreciate a man that treats her well. And this is what has happened. If I’m to be honest… I found it hard to believe a woman like this could exist. I was beginning to lose hope in women altogether. God has been gracious to me. Though I refuse to presume I know the future… I’m glad that today God has given me a woman who is more than I’d hoped for. She’s not perfect, but that’s good because that means we have something in common!

Being Faithful Where I Am

"...I try and try
To read your mind
‘Cause I forget that patience is a virtue
You’re teaching me to hold on tight

(Chorus)
‘Cause I don’t know how the story ends
But I’ll be alright ‘cause You wrote it
I don’t know where the highway bends
But I’m doing just fine
‘Cause You’re in control
Even when I don’t know
Where my life’s gonna go
You’re keeping me guessing

So slow me down
Show me around
I want to see the world
That I’ve been without
I am here and now
The future is out of my hands..." -Keeping Me Guessing By Francesca Battistelli



Today is a slightly grumpy and tired day, but you probably can't read it on my front door. Was up late with a friend having a great time of laughter and inside jokes then up even later watching Fireproof again. I was reminded and encouraged when the dad in the movie says in the Love Dare book that "Love in it's truest sense is not based on feelings." Oh how often I've thought lately... what if Jesus' love for us was based on things we did or how He felt at the time. I'm so thankful Christ gives us a picture of biblical love and so glad at how His example has penetrated and dominated my thinking on the subject.

As to "love," I find myself having entered the world of online Christian dating. Had a few interesting experiences... one of them taught me a lot about how shallow I can be, but beyond that it helped to humble me, which I always need. It seems God knew what He was doing in that situation... doesn't He always? Other than that, I find it's an interesting world... the people on the site don't play games at all. They're either going to get to know ya on purpose for the possibility of a relationship or they don't want to waste time. The ones nearer my age are looking toward marriage. That's what I like so much about all this... both people know why they're on the site and are unashamed of that. It's refreshing really. We'll see what God does. I've learned so much about contentment in this area. In some sense my head is still left spinning at what looks like my inability to see what God is or isn't doing. I feel a lot like Miss Battistelli in the lyrics above... God is "keeping me guessing." What I'm beginning to learn though is that it doesn't help much to wear yourself out continuing the guessing. Jeremy Camp sings a song called "one Day at a Time" that ends this way...

"One day at a time I will take these words you've given me
One day at a time I will rest in knowing you
One day at a time I will share this gift you've given me
One day at a time I will walk these valleys through

All I know is that I see how much my heart
Is longing to be cradled by your side
And i'll give all i can to one day soon
Be held by your hand, by your hand

In all these things i will press on
I'll be with you i know it wont be long"


Amen to that. Ya know... I'm done trying to figure God out. I'm done thinking I know what He's doing. I'm ready to just let God be God and rest knowing that if I throw my hands up in confusion... that the confusion must come from me or another human being because God is not the author of confusion. He's got this. Thank you Lord... for being You.

In the spirit of taking it a day at a time, I've been leading music, choosing songs, and practicing with the worship team at church. It's a whole new world, but I'm enjoying being involved... taking responsibility. The only frustrating part is that I don't like looking at the congregation during the service. I look down or up. I don't want their eyes on me or to know their eyes are on me. It's not about me and I don't even want a hint of it feeling that way. Musical worship should be such that it's as if no one else is in the room. Mmmm, one day we'll be with Him as Jeremy Camp said and I can't wait for that day. I've also had the privilege of making the announcement powerpoints for before service. I like doing the little behind the scenes monotonous stuff! The pastor and I are also rotating through teaching Hebrews Sunday nights. I've enjoyed it so far. I SO thank God for the opportunities to serve Him and gain experience here at my church! Looks like I'll be here doing it for awhile longer too...

Doors have opened to learn a couple new trades... I'll be learning to service swimming pools and to do interior work on cars. There is some risk involved, but honestly... I'm at the point in my life where I need the risk. It'll be good to get out of the grocery business for at least a couple years. Hopefully, but not expectantly the Lord will provide the next steps in life in this season here in Texas. But right now... I have today and today doesn't worry about tomorrow, it's faithful with what it's given. I've been given a wonderful church with people and leaders that trust me and encourage my involvement! I'm being given jobs that will grant the freedom I've wanted for so long now AND let me learn something new! I've been given people and friends to whom I can minister and who can minister to me! I've been given Today! Oh Lord may I not waste it...

Devote Yourself... Immerse Yourself...

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 13Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. 14Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. 15Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. 16Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers." -1 Tim. 4:12-16


A good friend recently gave me some timeless advice... he said when he was going through a difficult time emotionally, he immersed himself in ministry. As I've struggled with maintaining emotional stability I've realized that I have too much time on my hands. Too much time can lead to too much speculation, too much remembering, too much worrying about tomorrow when today has enough in itself. So I've made the decision to be busy about the things of God. My pastor has been prodding me to learn to lead music. I think he wants to eventually give me that responsibility. I texted him and said let's do it and let's also plan the next time I get to preach. I need to be in the Word more. I read every day, but I need to serve others with it. I know there's an interesting phenomenon that when you invest in the lives of others and serve them... you're own troubles have a way of fading into the background. So, Lord... may that happen for me as I immerse myself in the things of You, the gems of Your Word, and the service of Your people.