One of the most well known friendships in Scripture is the one between David and Saul's son Jonathan. It continues to amaze me as I read about it in 1 Samuel 18-20. This friendship was developing right under Saul's nose and it was developing because God was doing it despite Saul's extreme jealousy and hatred for David. This friendship served (I believe) as a form of God's preservation in David's life to prepare him for kingship. You know their friendship was a direct work of God because 18:1 tells us, "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself." Colossians 2:2 also expresses Paul's desire that believers be "knit together in love." Now, I haven't broken this up and studied it like mad but reading the English in 1 Samuel... the "was knit" seems to tell us this wasn't something done by the parties mentioned but rather happened to them. Knowing the scope of the story we can safely say God was doing this (and one may ask.. is there anything God doesn't have a hand in?). But this doesn't seem to be a friendship that faded after the passing of time. It doesn't seem to be one that allowed a summer or a semester or a new brother or sister floor to steal its' affections. We know this because while the beginning of Ch.18 introduced us to this friendship, we read later in 20:3-4, "But David took an oath and said, 'Your father knows very well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said to himself, 'Jonathan must not know this or he will be grieved.' Yet as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.' Jonathan said to David, 'Whatever you want me to do, I'll do for you.'" This was real friendship.
As I look toward the reality of being done at Moody, it occurs to me that the time is coming for me to say goodbye to my friends here. I've often said Moody has felt more like home to me than my home. It's like a home away from home away from home. Notice the three homes... permanent residence, Moody, and... heaven. I'm the only believer in my family and biblically my spiritual family is closer than my blood family. While I know we can talk about coming to visit for graduation or making trips or making phone calls or always having facebook, but I know from experience that many if not most of the friendships we have may not be maintained or deepened. I know a real chance exists that I may never see many of these brothers and sisters again. We come here and then scatter across the world for ministry. God in His providence may put us together in ministry later but He may not. Being who I am (one who hasn't historically been the social type) I find myself experiencing a deep sadness at this realization. Maybe it's a product of God's work in me. This is new to me... this sadness. I feel like the android Lt. Commander Data in Star Trek when he first begins to experience emotions. "An intriguing sensation," he'd likely say. While I thank God for more of a heart for people and I know He will use it for ministry... the byproduct is difficult.
I suppose I can now appreciate the song, "What a friend we have in Jesus" in a fresh way. Oh what a friend He is... and more.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Bowling with the Religious
Last night I was invited to go bowling at a Lutheran church in the area because I know someone who goes there. Apparently it's common for Lutheran churches to have bowling lanes in their basements. This particular building was erected in the mid 1930's and was originally a bowling alley now converted into a church. The design of the lanes and the parts behind them were all original strangely enough. An interesting concept. Only a handful of stairs though separated the bowling lanes from a sign by the church front door. The sign said loudly proclaimed "NO GUM" in the building (I had a brand new pack in my pocket). Underneath it read something like, "Not pockets, backpacks, pants, etc." I couldn't help but notice the grammar problem. It didn't say "No gum IN pockets, backpacks..." It was as if the NO GUM was primary but secondarily pants weren't allowed either. I made the pastor aware of my observation.
Legalism. You don't have to spend too much time searching outside of biblical Christianity to find it. It may be in plain view in the church sanctuary, posted by the front door, or tucked into a drawer in the office of the leadership, but it will be there. I didn't do too good in bowling, but I got one strike and was happy with that. We also had flat bread pizza. I even got a discount being a college student. As I've already given away, the pastor eventually showed up. When he did I had this strange sensation of having a connection with someone, yet in another sense being totally separate from them (in what mattered). Between turns I spoke with him about entering a church as pastor and the differences between the Lutheran process and my own. He said there would be a point where they sent you a doctrinal list covering certain things. I took this as an opportunity to get to the issue I wanted to discuss. I asked, "do they ask about baptism?" I knew the Lutheran church believes in baptismal regeneration (the idea that water baptism plays a key role in salvation). So I admitted up front and assumed he knew we disagreed on this issue, but asked him what the arguments were from his end. He tried to steer it in the direction of communion or infant baptism at times, but those issues while they have implications... weren't as vital in my mind as the baptism discussion. He quoted a few texts for support (the ones I expected from him). The most popular of these is 1 Peter 3:21-22,
"21(F)Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you--(G)not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a (H)good conscience--through (I)the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22(J)who is at the right hand of God, (K)having gone into heaven, (L)after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him."
I must ask how someone can read something so clear and ignore what it plainly says? the only answer I can come up with is that there's spiritual blindness at work here. The "baptism" here is clarified in the same verse as NOT "removal of dirt from the body." Salvation doesn't come from water running over your body. Taking a bath doesn't wash away your sins. Beyond this the emphasis is not "baptism." The emphasis is Jesus Christ. This is simple to notice even without an in-depth analysis of these two verses. We know from Ephesians 2 "we are saved by grace through faith and this not of works, lest anyone should boast." Titus 3:5 tells us "5(DA)He saved us, (DB)not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but (DC)according to His mercy, by the (DD)washing of regeneration and (DE)renewing by the Holy Spirit," They usually point to the "washing" in this verse but ignore once again the "deeds." Their very own proof texts destroy their theology. The washing here can be compared the John 3 where Jesus tells Nicodemus to be born of "water and Spirit." The idea is that the Holy Spirit when He baptizes you (something different than water baptism) spiritually there will be an invisible internal cleansing. A divine heart change cannot happen by outward washing. This DOES happen during salvation, but not during water baptism. Notice also Titus doesn't say it's the washing "of baptism," but "of regeneration." The regeneration is doing the cleansing. A similar idea is found in Acts with the baptism of the Holy Spirit "and fire." Is this literal fire? Do we all become the Human Torch when we're saved? Surely not.
So I discussed some of this with him, though not nearly in the depth at which I've done here. I pray God uses that conversation to at the very least force that man to examine the context of Scripture which so easily complicates Lutheran theology and hopefully lead him to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ and not his baptism. Among these religious men was found profanity and senseless complaints alongside this conviction that baptism plays a part in salvation. They were religious men, but still lost without Christ and destined for a literal hell. Lord, please change their hearts and use your Word to do it.
Legalism. You don't have to spend too much time searching outside of biblical Christianity to find it. It may be in plain view in the church sanctuary, posted by the front door, or tucked into a drawer in the office of the leadership, but it will be there. I didn't do too good in bowling, but I got one strike and was happy with that. We also had flat bread pizza. I even got a discount being a college student. As I've already given away, the pastor eventually showed up. When he did I had this strange sensation of having a connection with someone, yet in another sense being totally separate from them (in what mattered). Between turns I spoke with him about entering a church as pastor and the differences between the Lutheran process and my own. He said there would be a point where they sent you a doctrinal list covering certain things. I took this as an opportunity to get to the issue I wanted to discuss. I asked, "do they ask about baptism?" I knew the Lutheran church believes in baptismal regeneration (the idea that water baptism plays a key role in salvation). So I admitted up front and assumed he knew we disagreed on this issue, but asked him what the arguments were from his end. He tried to steer it in the direction of communion or infant baptism at times, but those issues while they have implications... weren't as vital in my mind as the baptism discussion. He quoted a few texts for support (the ones I expected from him). The most popular of these is 1 Peter 3:21-22,
"21(F)Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you--(G)not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a (H)good conscience--through (I)the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22(J)who is at the right hand of God, (K)having gone into heaven, (L)after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him."
I must ask how someone can read something so clear and ignore what it plainly says? the only answer I can come up with is that there's spiritual blindness at work here. The "baptism" here is clarified in the same verse as NOT "removal of dirt from the body." Salvation doesn't come from water running over your body. Taking a bath doesn't wash away your sins. Beyond this the emphasis is not "baptism." The emphasis is Jesus Christ. This is simple to notice even without an in-depth analysis of these two verses. We know from Ephesians 2 "we are saved by grace through faith and this not of works, lest anyone should boast." Titus 3:5 tells us "5(DA)He saved us, (DB)not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but (DC)according to His mercy, by the (DD)washing of regeneration and (DE)renewing by the Holy Spirit," They usually point to the "washing" in this verse but ignore once again the "deeds." Their very own proof texts destroy their theology. The washing here can be compared the John 3 where Jesus tells Nicodemus to be born of "water and Spirit." The idea is that the Holy Spirit when He baptizes you (something different than water baptism) spiritually there will be an invisible internal cleansing. A divine heart change cannot happen by outward washing. This DOES happen during salvation, but not during water baptism. Notice also Titus doesn't say it's the washing "of baptism," but "of regeneration." The regeneration is doing the cleansing. A similar idea is found in Acts with the baptism of the Holy Spirit "and fire." Is this literal fire? Do we all become the Human Torch when we're saved? Surely not.
So I discussed some of this with him, though not nearly in the depth at which I've done here. I pray God uses that conversation to at the very least force that man to examine the context of Scripture which so easily complicates Lutheran theology and hopefully lead him to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ and not his baptism. Among these religious men was found profanity and senseless complaints alongside this conviction that baptism plays a part in salvation. They were religious men, but still lost without Christ and destined for a literal hell. Lord, please change their hearts and use your Word to do it.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
By the Water
Late last week I did something totally unlike me. It was something everyone who knows me well would certainly say I'd never do and if I did... I'd definitely make it "productive." I went on a retreat. We went to Green Lake Conference Center in Wisconsin. It was the Senior class retreat and yes this homeworkaholic went. Who could refuse? It was only $25 for roughly 3 days of lodging, meals, fellowship, and being among such a representation of God's creation. We had times of discussion about memories, prayer, singing, a bonfire with S'mores (I successfully made my first S'more ever). It also ended on my birthday. And get this... I only brought my Bible. Are you proud? While I'm trying to catch up on reading some now that I'm back on campus, it's occurring more and more to me that these things in life that we often ignore and don't stop long enough to appreciate are the very things that we cherish in old age and wish we hadn't skipped when younger. I find myself often a guy concerned about the bottom line, efficiency, what will pragmatically be the best use of time to accomplish the requirements of an assignment or class, etc. But during those few days I was alright with the idea of taking a small percentage hit to my grade for missing a couple assigned readings. There were more important things in life.
I'm not one to spend too much time playing games and being in the midst of the traffic and noise. So when I wasn't catching up on the sleep I knew I'd never get when real life began again, I found myself spending time on a bench by the water or on the little dock with my feet propped up on a post. If not there I visited Spurgeon chapel a short distance from the lodge. The door needed a good push to be opened. If you didn't use enough force you'd think it was sealed shut. It was small and full of cobwebs. In the back there was a guestbook, a prayer request tree, and a broken organ. In the front middle on the altar were papers full of prayer requests where you could leave your own and pray for others. To the right was a walk-in pulpit with a Gideon Bible from the early 1950's with the back cover torn off. The acoustics in that chapel were good... you didn't have to speak very loudly for people to hear you. The whole time I was there it seemed unused, though there were 3 chapels in the area. As I stood in the pulpit I couldn't help but think of my future and I needed to pray.
Over my sabbatical it was difficult to concentrate reading Scripture. My prayer for the trip was "Lord, bind my wandering heart to thee." So many things can distract us. I didn't spend nearly enough time by the water. On the dock after dark you could see the cross lit up on a tower. It was so bright it eclipsed the tower itself and looked like it was suspended floating in the air. As I continued my prayer to focus on the Lord I stared at the cross for awhile and thought, "how appropriate." Doesn't the Bible say something about fixing our eyes on Jesus? I was reading earlier today about the Lament Psalms. It was refreshing to find that the authors simply express their distress unashamedly and without reservation to God. Though I knew that, it was interested to have it put the way it was in my textbook. I imagine we often have struggles inside that we only express to the Lord... worries, desires, and pain that if others were to hear it they would think us mad or rebuke us. It's nice to read the Psalms and see such honesty.
I continue to think toward what God will do in my future. This is constantly on my mind. As time passes I ask the Lord for patience and endurance. I tell God I believe, but please help me with my unbelief. I can trust for the outcome, but somehow it's hard to trust for the in-between. I got on the Alumni referral list here at school and they'll be emailing open listings for Pastoral positions across the U.S. I've sent resumes to a good number of them, but God doesn't seem to be working clearly toward any one in particular yet. I'm excited to see what may come. I've got plans if nothing firm begins to come of this before I go back to TX, but I'm willing to forsake those plans and would be happy to if God began to move elsewhere. I wanna go where He sends me. All plans are tentative to sovereignty.
For all who read this... this is a delicate time for me. I need so much prayer. I need wisdom and discernment. I don't want to assume the next seemingly good thing that comes my way is God's will and jump right in. I want to be wise about making choices because the next major choices in my life will be the big ones. I'm ready to make those choices, but I need to make them well. God has done so much in my heart, maturity, and confidence in the past couple years. I've learned a lot. I'm praying He'll let me use it all very soon.
I'm not one to spend too much time playing games and being in the midst of the traffic and noise. So when I wasn't catching up on the sleep I knew I'd never get when real life began again, I found myself spending time on a bench by the water or on the little dock with my feet propped up on a post. If not there I visited Spurgeon chapel a short distance from the lodge. The door needed a good push to be opened. If you didn't use enough force you'd think it was sealed shut. It was small and full of cobwebs. In the back there was a guestbook, a prayer request tree, and a broken organ. In the front middle on the altar were papers full of prayer requests where you could leave your own and pray for others. To the right was a walk-in pulpit with a Gideon Bible from the early 1950's with the back cover torn off. The acoustics in that chapel were good... you didn't have to speak very loudly for people to hear you. The whole time I was there it seemed unused, though there were 3 chapels in the area. As I stood in the pulpit I couldn't help but think of my future and I needed to pray.
Over my sabbatical it was difficult to concentrate reading Scripture. My prayer for the trip was "Lord, bind my wandering heart to thee." So many things can distract us. I didn't spend nearly enough time by the water. On the dock after dark you could see the cross lit up on a tower. It was so bright it eclipsed the tower itself and looked like it was suspended floating in the air. As I continued my prayer to focus on the Lord I stared at the cross for awhile and thought, "how appropriate." Doesn't the Bible say something about fixing our eyes on Jesus? I was reading earlier today about the Lament Psalms. It was refreshing to find that the authors simply express their distress unashamedly and without reservation to God. Though I knew that, it was interested to have it put the way it was in my textbook. I imagine we often have struggles inside that we only express to the Lord... worries, desires, and pain that if others were to hear it they would think us mad or rebuke us. It's nice to read the Psalms and see such honesty.
I continue to think toward what God will do in my future. This is constantly on my mind. As time passes I ask the Lord for patience and endurance. I tell God I believe, but please help me with my unbelief. I can trust for the outcome, but somehow it's hard to trust for the in-between. I got on the Alumni referral list here at school and they'll be emailing open listings for Pastoral positions across the U.S. I've sent resumes to a good number of them, but God doesn't seem to be working clearly toward any one in particular yet. I'm excited to see what may come. I've got plans if nothing firm begins to come of this before I go back to TX, but I'm willing to forsake those plans and would be happy to if God began to move elsewhere. I wanna go where He sends me. All plans are tentative to sovereignty.
For all who read this... this is a delicate time for me. I need so much prayer. I need wisdom and discernment. I don't want to assume the next seemingly good thing that comes my way is God's will and jump right in. I want to be wise about making choices because the next major choices in my life will be the big ones. I'm ready to make those choices, but I need to make them well. God has done so much in my heart, maturity, and confidence in the past couple years. I've learned a lot. I'm praying He'll let me use it all very soon.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Semester Impressions
There are 2 hours until my next class, I'm eating dinosaur shaped fruit snacks, and the reading isn't done yet. Hello college life once again! I'm finding that I need to get far ahead on reading over the weekends if I'm ever to have tiem to write papers or study for exams. While there aren't many assignments that I actually have to turn in... I have reading due every class session for every class. I'm already behind. I'm not worrying though. It's worth worrying about. This final semester of Moody finds me taking the following classes...
Apologetics. This class I had to get permission to take at the same time as Sys Theo 2. Usually you take it after that class. The prof. is a new guy. I got to be in the class where we evaluated him last semester. He's a soft-spoken guy. The class seems good so far though I'm ready for some deeper stuff than the introductory material. Recently we learned there are 4 major approaches to Apologetics (defending the faith)... 1. By Reason and logic, 2. By hard evidence, 3. Divine revelation, and 4. Appeal to faith. It seems the "Reformed approach" is the divine revelation, ("The Bible says...") I think I lean most in that direction. I believe in the power of God's Word. Although the Apostles have used a combination of all these apporaches it seems.
Evangelistic Messages. My final round with Dr. Neely. Most of the textbooks are about examining the culture. I've always been wary of paying too much attention to the culture, lest we subtly trample on truth. Don't wanna fall into the trap of the Fundamentalist movement (the official one, not the broad use of the word) nor do I wanna compromise like the Neoevangelical movement sometimes did (and therefore forfeited their mantra). So I'm working through how much we should consider culture. I've benefited from something my Apologetics prof said, "We need to adapt to the culture but not adopt the culture." Something I'm not looking forward to in this class aside from preaching without notes is that we're required to give an invitation at the end of the sermon AND create a follow-up strategy. In my street preaching my final appeal has always been something to the effect of, "I'm not asking for your money. I won't pass an offering plate. I'm not asking you to join a church nor am I trying to sell you my church. I just want you to think for a moment about what happens after you die. Please feel free to come and ask us any questions you may have." I'm not one for altar calls... it's too artificial. I don't want someone to look like they're saved. I want them to be saved. I don't want someone to think they are saved because they've put one foot in front of the other... I want them to actually be saved.
Systematic Theology 2. This class is about what I thought it would be... Theology. Like the last Sys Theo class I'm hoping it will be more in depth than the introductory one. I felt like it was mostly review in Sys Theo 1. It was easy. I did have a little fun on the first day though. The prof said he had a wife and a cat. He then asked us if we'd like to see a picture of them. He put up a hand drawing of a cat and a woman as stick figures he said he did just before class. He told us his cat's name was Dodger and continued talking. I couldn't help but ask, "Does your wife have a name?" A fun moment for sure.
Psalms. I wonder if I'm most excited about this class. Why? Because I chose it and it specifically wasn't required. I couldn't gone with another Bible elective. It's during one of the most yucky times of day too... 3pm. I really wanted to take it though. I've always admired John MacArthur's handling of the Psalms and how well this genre of the Word of God can speak to our lives in a way that touches the emotions so perfectly that you know they're Holy Spirit empowered. I want to get to know the Psalms better to be able to preach them better. Just today I was reading Psalm 16:4a which says, "The sorrows of those who run after other gods shall multiply..." That was so true as I've faced idolatry in my life. Praise God He works miracles to mold us into the image of His Son! The funny thing about this class is that I'm the same age as the professor. I think we'll get along great.
3 Credits of Internship. So I just recently found out that all I gotta do for my internship is preach 3 more times and help out a rehearsal group in the beginning preaching class. All those weekly mentoring hours I thought were required... aren't. I still plan to do some of the originally planned things with my church though. this just makes it easier becuase now it's on our own time and we're not bound to a number of hours. So I'll be at church a lot for sure. I'm excited abotu that. I've also made my intership count as my PCM. This will allow more weekly time.
Beyond these things I've returned to my working out back here at Solheim. A freidn recently told me that my fatigue may be due to working out too often. Is 5-6 days a week, 45 min. to 1 1/2 hours too much? Lol... maybe. I'm gonna cut it back to 4 days a week and see how that goes. I know the multivitamin I'm taking every day has been helping for sure. I still haven't got into a healthy amount of prayer and personal musical worship as I'd like. It seems school is frustrating the quantity of time I'd like to spend with the Lord. I wish I could skip classes in spend the time in prayer and song, but alas... homework looms. It's also been fun to room with Nick from home for his first semester. I find that I am more sarcastic toward him. We play with eachother a lot. I just hope I don't get outta control. He has a lot of respect for me and I don't wanna act too childish.
This semester I intend to continue praying for my sisters and my future wife every Wednesday. I ask the Lord for the men of this campus to be men (courage, confidence, decisiveness, gentleness, and the strength and wisdom in how to love their respective ladies as Christ loved the Church) and the women to be women (willing hearts of submission and respect to their respective guys, emotional stability, and for divine protection against immature guys). I'm learning that I think we shouldn't act romantically based upon some mysterious spark between us and someone else. That's too fickle and could mean anything. I think we need to seek godliness... in our own lives and in the lives of those we consider for a future spouse (to not treat it that seriously is a waste of time and emotions). We must seek godliness and the Lord's will as best as we can discern them and act in the most honorable and wise way we can. to that end for myself I pray for me to be open to walk in the paths God lays out before me. I ask Him to prepare the way and grant me the grace to discern where He's working. I'm keeping my eyes and options open. I'm confessing my desire for marriage yet putting the Lord first. I need so much wisdom these days. I need the Lord because I can be so divided and confused. I ask God to help me as I seek who He may have for me in the future, whether it's near or far... though I wonder if it's near. I'm trying to continue to treat things reverently and not to take anything for granted when and if it does happen. Need to remember the implications of a relationship. A friend reminded me recently that godly women don't have to be found in Bible college. I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that time and distance don't matter if the Lord puts two people together. I don't need to worry that time is slipping away. God will do as He wishes and if He is working... it'll all work out. the question is, is He working? If so, how? With who? Grrrrrr... Lord?
I also wonder where God will take me after Moody. For the longest time I've wanted to go to Seminary, leaning primarily toward Master's Seminary in California. I'm still open to that. But in the past couple months I've really wondered if I should just get started in ministry. So I'm gonna look at my options for after graduation and see what God does. I could be in another country this time next year. Lord, what will you do?
Apologetics. This class I had to get permission to take at the same time as Sys Theo 2. Usually you take it after that class. The prof. is a new guy. I got to be in the class where we evaluated him last semester. He's a soft-spoken guy. The class seems good so far though I'm ready for some deeper stuff than the introductory material. Recently we learned there are 4 major approaches to Apologetics (defending the faith)... 1. By Reason and logic, 2. By hard evidence, 3. Divine revelation, and 4. Appeal to faith. It seems the "Reformed approach" is the divine revelation, ("The Bible says...") I think I lean most in that direction. I believe in the power of God's Word. Although the Apostles have used a combination of all these apporaches it seems.
Evangelistic Messages. My final round with Dr. Neely. Most of the textbooks are about examining the culture. I've always been wary of paying too much attention to the culture, lest we subtly trample on truth. Don't wanna fall into the trap of the Fundamentalist movement (the official one, not the broad use of the word) nor do I wanna compromise like the Neoevangelical movement sometimes did (and therefore forfeited their mantra). So I'm working through how much we should consider culture. I've benefited from something my Apologetics prof said, "We need to adapt to the culture but not adopt the culture." Something I'm not looking forward to in this class aside from preaching without notes is that we're required to give an invitation at the end of the sermon AND create a follow-up strategy. In my street preaching my final appeal has always been something to the effect of, "I'm not asking for your money. I won't pass an offering plate. I'm not asking you to join a church nor am I trying to sell you my church. I just want you to think for a moment about what happens after you die. Please feel free to come and ask us any questions you may have." I'm not one for altar calls... it's too artificial. I don't want someone to look like they're saved. I want them to be saved. I don't want someone to think they are saved because they've put one foot in front of the other... I want them to actually be saved.
Systematic Theology 2. This class is about what I thought it would be... Theology. Like the last Sys Theo class I'm hoping it will be more in depth than the introductory one. I felt like it was mostly review in Sys Theo 1. It was easy. I did have a little fun on the first day though. The prof said he had a wife and a cat. He then asked us if we'd like to see a picture of them. He put up a hand drawing of a cat and a woman as stick figures he said he did just before class. He told us his cat's name was Dodger and continued talking. I couldn't help but ask, "Does your wife have a name?" A fun moment for sure.
Psalms. I wonder if I'm most excited about this class. Why? Because I chose it and it specifically wasn't required. I couldn't gone with another Bible elective. It's during one of the most yucky times of day too... 3pm. I really wanted to take it though. I've always admired John MacArthur's handling of the Psalms and how well this genre of the Word of God can speak to our lives in a way that touches the emotions so perfectly that you know they're Holy Spirit empowered. I want to get to know the Psalms better to be able to preach them better. Just today I was reading Psalm 16:4a which says, "The sorrows of those who run after other gods shall multiply..." That was so true as I've faced idolatry in my life. Praise God He works miracles to mold us into the image of His Son! The funny thing about this class is that I'm the same age as the professor. I think we'll get along great.
3 Credits of Internship. So I just recently found out that all I gotta do for my internship is preach 3 more times and help out a rehearsal group in the beginning preaching class. All those weekly mentoring hours I thought were required... aren't. I still plan to do some of the originally planned things with my church though. this just makes it easier becuase now it's on our own time and we're not bound to a number of hours. So I'll be at church a lot for sure. I'm excited abotu that. I've also made my intership count as my PCM. This will allow more weekly time.
Beyond these things I've returned to my working out back here at Solheim. A freidn recently told me that my fatigue may be due to working out too often. Is 5-6 days a week, 45 min. to 1 1/2 hours too much? Lol... maybe. I'm gonna cut it back to 4 days a week and see how that goes. I know the multivitamin I'm taking every day has been helping for sure. I still haven't got into a healthy amount of prayer and personal musical worship as I'd like. It seems school is frustrating the quantity of time I'd like to spend with the Lord. I wish I could skip classes in spend the time in prayer and song, but alas... homework looms. It's also been fun to room with Nick from home for his first semester. I find that I am more sarcastic toward him. We play with eachother a lot. I just hope I don't get outta control. He has a lot of respect for me and I don't wanna act too childish.
This semester I intend to continue praying for my sisters and my future wife every Wednesday. I ask the Lord for the men of this campus to be men (courage, confidence, decisiveness, gentleness, and the strength and wisdom in how to love their respective ladies as Christ loved the Church) and the women to be women (willing hearts of submission and respect to their respective guys, emotional stability, and for divine protection against immature guys). I'm learning that I think we shouldn't act romantically based upon some mysterious spark between us and someone else. That's too fickle and could mean anything. I think we need to seek godliness... in our own lives and in the lives of those we consider for a future spouse (to not treat it that seriously is a waste of time and emotions). We must seek godliness and the Lord's will as best as we can discern them and act in the most honorable and wise way we can. to that end for myself I pray for me to be open to walk in the paths God lays out before me. I ask Him to prepare the way and grant me the grace to discern where He's working. I'm keeping my eyes and options open. I'm confessing my desire for marriage yet putting the Lord first. I need so much wisdom these days. I need the Lord because I can be so divided and confused. I ask God to help me as I seek who He may have for me in the future, whether it's near or far... though I wonder if it's near. I'm trying to continue to treat things reverently and not to take anything for granted when and if it does happen. Need to remember the implications of a relationship. A friend reminded me recently that godly women don't have to be found in Bible college. I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that time and distance don't matter if the Lord puts two people together. I don't need to worry that time is slipping away. God will do as He wishes and if He is working... it'll all work out. the question is, is He working? If so, how? With who? Grrrrrr... Lord?
I also wonder where God will take me after Moody. For the longest time I've wanted to go to Seminary, leaning primarily toward Master's Seminary in California. I'm still open to that. But in the past couple months I've really wondered if I should just get started in ministry. So I'm gonna look at my options for after graduation and see what God does. I could be in another country this time next year. Lord, what will you do?
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
When will life begin?
I'm here at home on a Tuesday at noon. Work starts in 3 short hours. I just printed directions to take my mom to the hospital we're trying to get her into with an established doctor and regular health care. As I sit here and the time escapes me, I confess that I'm a mixture of emotions, thoughts, and dreams.
How much longer does my mom have to live? Will she come to know the Lord? When will my sister realize that life is beginning to happen to her and she needs to be responsible? When will she stop relying on others to do everything for her? Will my sister come to know the Lord?
Will my friend's wife ever be soundly saved? When will she realize that life isn't about having fun (enjoying the pleasures of sin and the world) and just turning up the music? How did we not see it in her years ago? Why do people treat marriage like dating? Does a covenant mean nothing?
Should I really go to seminary? As I continue to taste ministry (even if it's hard), as I continue to preach and teach God's people... I find that I don't want to stop. I am in love with serving God in these ways and I fall more in love with Him as I do them. When will I be free from the grocery business? November of 2011 will make 10 years that I've worked on and off with the same company while attending school. I've purposely turned down opportunities to make it a career. I could not be content doing that my whole life, nor do I think I'll have the energy it requires. It's just not worth it nor is it what God has called me to. When will I be free from my dad's roof... the filthy house and its' cockroach population? When will life begin? When will I wake up to the faces of my own family and get up an extra half hour to start breakfast one average day and maybe consider a passage to read at the table?
And as I think about these things... I also begin to ask, when I will I see my Lord face to face? Lord, when will earthly concerns no longer be a concern? When will I simply be with You? Maybe that's when life will really begin.
How much longer does my mom have to live? Will she come to know the Lord? When will my sister realize that life is beginning to happen to her and she needs to be responsible? When will she stop relying on others to do everything for her? Will my sister come to know the Lord?
Will my friend's wife ever be soundly saved? When will she realize that life isn't about having fun (enjoying the pleasures of sin and the world) and just turning up the music? How did we not see it in her years ago? Why do people treat marriage like dating? Does a covenant mean nothing?
Should I really go to seminary? As I continue to taste ministry (even if it's hard), as I continue to preach and teach God's people... I find that I don't want to stop. I am in love with serving God in these ways and I fall more in love with Him as I do them. When will I be free from the grocery business? November of 2011 will make 10 years that I've worked on and off with the same company while attending school. I've purposely turned down opportunities to make it a career. I could not be content doing that my whole life, nor do I think I'll have the energy it requires. It's just not worth it nor is it what God has called me to. When will I be free from my dad's roof... the filthy house and its' cockroach population? When will life begin? When will I wake up to the faces of my own family and get up an extra half hour to start breakfast one average day and maybe consider a passage to read at the table?
And as I think about these things... I also begin to ask, when I will I see my Lord face to face? Lord, when will earthly concerns no longer be a concern? When will I simply be with You? Maybe that's when life will really begin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)