I'm here at home on a Tuesday at noon. Work starts in 3 short hours. I just printed directions to take my mom to the hospital we're trying to get her into with an established doctor and regular health care. As I sit here and the time escapes me, I confess that I'm a mixture of emotions, thoughts, and dreams.
How much longer does my mom have to live? Will she come to know the Lord? When will my sister realize that life is beginning to happen to her and she needs to be responsible? When will she stop relying on others to do everything for her? Will my sister come to know the Lord?
Will my friend's wife ever be soundly saved? When will she realize that life isn't about having fun (enjoying the pleasures of sin and the world) and just turning up the music? How did we not see it in her years ago? Why do people treat marriage like dating? Does a covenant mean nothing?
Should I really go to seminary? As I continue to taste ministry (even if it's hard), as I continue to preach and teach God's people... I find that I don't want to stop. I am in love with serving God in these ways and I fall more in love with Him as I do them. When will I be free from the grocery business? November of 2011 will make 10 years that I've worked on and off with the same company while attending school. I've purposely turned down opportunities to make it a career. I could not be content doing that my whole life, nor do I think I'll have the energy it requires. It's just not worth it nor is it what God has called me to. When will I be free from my dad's roof... the filthy house and its' cockroach population? When will life begin? When will I wake up to the faces of my own family and get up an extra half hour to start breakfast one average day and maybe consider a passage to read at the table?
And as I think about these things... I also begin to ask, when I will I see my Lord face to face? Lord, when will earthly concerns no longer be a concern? When will I simply be with You? Maybe that's when life will really begin.
No comments:
Post a Comment