Ashamed of the Pastorate

"It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do."
-1 Timothy 3:1 (NASB)


On my way home from work tonight I was listening to one of my favorite Christian radio stations and there's a blurb that comes on (among others) sometimes from a man with a few words or a biblical illustration and a challenging thought or encouragement. This particular ministry has always stood out to me though. Why? Because the man on this radio blurb is never identified as a Pastor. A couple years ago the brief radio program called him a "Youth Communicator." In recent years his name is prefaced by the title, "Youth Culture Specialist." His website says he graduated from Biola University and that he works with youth pastors, has written books, speaks at Christian youth events, etc. He's an itinerant speaker, but it has always frustrated me why the program refuses to call him Pastor? An itinerant Pastor is no less a Pastor than one who is planted in a local church. This raises questions for me. Is he trying to appeal to a secular audience? Is he hoping the lost will use his radio blurbs on their stations? All they have to do is hear something about God or the Bible once and it's over. I suppose I can't say for sure, but I do know the culture has an alluring tendency to help "successful" "Christian" "leaders" muzzle their message or blend their God-given role with something that... after enough time, dollar signs, and attendees often looks less and less like a Pastor, like the gospel, like biblical truth, like... something of God.

As these things catch my ears I continue to look up and (often in tears) ask the Lord when my time will come. When so many boys who call themselves men stand in a pulpit and proclaim their own ideas, when so many charlatans get up in clean suits that cost as much as used cars tell people to sow seeds into their next suit, when so many people who call themselves pastors steal someone else's sermons or play the role of Pharaoh expecting unquestioned submission, when so many guys run out on a church because their feelings are hurt or it gets too hard for them... I ask God when my time will come.

I went for a walk tonight at good ol Capp Smith Park near my house. I've spent a lot of time there in prayer and tears. I've preached there. I jog there. Tonight I just walked and talked to God. No one else was on the track. I asked God why He's done all this. Why did He turn a God-hating Atheist into an upcoming Pastor? Why did He help my school get paid for without ever getting into debt? Why has He tested and tried me and granted the strength to persevere with little difficulty, especially in the last year or two, the last few months? Why all of that just to drop me back home? I told God tonight, "I love You... even though You frustrate me." It's so hard to see those who abuse the pastorate or who are ashamed of it and then to continue slicing the Pan Roasted Turkey and stacking the Roma Tomatoes at the grocery company where I've worked since 2001.

Lord, just as I prayed tonight... help me to trust You as a child trusts his Father when he's asked to do something for reasons he can't yet understand.