It's just after midnight, yet it's time to write. Many things are on my mind. Here's one of them...
I continue my trek through the ESV Old Testament in my daily Scripture reading. I've reached the book of Joshua. The other day at work I finished chapter 13 on my lunch break. All was as expected until one verse jumped off the page and tugged at my heart in a way that brought such a peace... just at the right time. Joshua 13:33 says, "But to the tribe of Levi Moses gave no inheritance; the Lord God of Israel is their inheritance, just as he said to them." This is important because it came on a day when I'd planned to fast for a purpose. No, it wasn't Wednesday. You see lately I can clearly discern the hand of God in my life. To what end I'm confident I know, but how that end will come about I still cannot see. The purpose was to refocus and make sure I still wanted the Lord, His will, and His timing more than a wife on my timing. It's been interesting this summer and even before then really. Many closed doors. It seems even when I consider a woman in my mind (even if it's a passing thought) that God closes the door immediately. I begin to wonder, "Why not close a few doors years ago before they happened? I needed it the for sure!" "Lord are you protecting me from a wrong decision?" "Lord, are you still preparing a woman greater and better suited than all the closed doors?" "Is it right around the corner? Is that why you're acting so fast?" It's hard to remember that closed doors are just as much an expression of God's wise sovereignty as are open doors. Recently though I was thinking back to all those girls in my past that I had a thing for or went out with and I laugh and thank God He didn't let me continue with them for one reason or another. He SO knows what He's doing. I'm dumb. I'm clumsy. I'm emotional. God is so good.
So I planned to fast that day and instead of eating on my break I called my mom at the hospital and then opened my Bible. While it certainly isn't a direct application (I'm not a Levite by descent) it occurs to me that while the other tribes had physical tangible inheritances (gifts, rewards), the Levites had none. Yet theirs was greater than these earthly rewards... it was the Lord Himself. The world looks on a lack of earthly blessing as a sign that maybe God hasn't blessed a person, but with the Lord the expectations change. The social norms mean nothing. Don't they? Before I could even think it through... I was hit with a wave of comfort as I read these words. Strange context for comfort, but it came. Ecclesiates 9:9 calls a wife a man's reward. She is a tangible gift from God just as the land was the tribes of Israel. For those who desire to be married and aren't, the Lord Himself is their reward... their inheritance. This isn't to say He is later replaced by a wife. If the Lord isn't always first you're only left with idolatry. Still I take comfort in this truth as I'm reminded that while those around me are finding the earthly love that I yearn for so strongly... I do have divine love and must nurture that beyond all else. The love of God and for God can and will never compare to the love of and for my future wife. My God was there when He formed me in my mother's womb, but my wife was not. My God will be there for me in difficult times in ways my wife never can or will be. He is and always shall be my inheritance. If that's true... then He certainly is that now.
At work all day I listen to the music the store plays. Most of it is love songs. I often joke that they're so bent on love songs (particularly sad ones) that even during CHRISTmas they manage to find sad CHRISTmas love songs. I was speaking to someone recently who couldn't conceive of a love greater than the love between a husband and a wife. I hear these songs and these ideas and see it on TV... the only love the world thinks is possible is romantic earthly love. But that can never be understood without knowing the love of God and the love for God. I thank Him so much He didn't leave me in what seemed an endless maze of looking for earthly love that would never satisfy. I thank Him for being my inheritance. My desire still remains strong and my eyes still remain open, but my heart belongs to Him before anyone else.
Thank you Lord for the reminder.
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