There are 2 hours until my next class, I'm eating dinosaur shaped fruit snacks, and the reading isn't done yet. Hello college life once again! I'm finding that I need to get far ahead on reading over the weekends if I'm ever to have tiem to write papers or study for exams. While there aren't many assignments that I actually have to turn in... I have reading due every class session for every class. I'm already behind. I'm not worrying though. It's worth worrying about. This final semester of Moody finds me taking the following classes...
Apologetics. This class I had to get permission to take at the same time as Sys Theo 2. Usually you take it after that class. The prof. is a new guy. I got to be in the class where we evaluated him last semester. He's a soft-spoken guy. The class seems good so far though I'm ready for some deeper stuff than the introductory material. Recently we learned there are 4 major approaches to Apologetics (defending the faith)... 1. By Reason and logic, 2. By hard evidence, 3. Divine revelation, and 4. Appeal to faith. It seems the "Reformed approach" is the divine revelation, ("The Bible says...") I think I lean most in that direction. I believe in the power of God's Word. Although the Apostles have used a combination of all these apporaches it seems.
Evangelistic Messages. My final round with Dr. Neely. Most of the textbooks are about examining the culture. I've always been wary of paying too much attention to the culture, lest we subtly trample on truth. Don't wanna fall into the trap of the Fundamentalist movement (the official one, not the broad use of the word) nor do I wanna compromise like the Neoevangelical movement sometimes did (and therefore forfeited their mantra). So I'm working through how much we should consider culture. I've benefited from something my Apologetics prof said, "We need to adapt to the culture but not adopt the culture." Something I'm not looking forward to in this class aside from preaching without notes is that we're required to give an invitation at the end of the sermon AND create a follow-up strategy. In my street preaching my final appeal has always been something to the effect of, "I'm not asking for your money. I won't pass an offering plate. I'm not asking you to join a church nor am I trying to sell you my church. I just want you to think for a moment about what happens after you die. Please feel free to come and ask us any questions you may have." I'm not one for altar calls... it's too artificial. I don't want someone to look like they're saved. I want them to be saved. I don't want someone to think they are saved because they've put one foot in front of the other... I want them to actually be saved.
Systematic Theology 2. This class is about what I thought it would be... Theology. Like the last Sys Theo class I'm hoping it will be more in depth than the introductory one. I felt like it was mostly review in Sys Theo 1. It was easy. I did have a little fun on the first day though. The prof said he had a wife and a cat. He then asked us if we'd like to see a picture of them. He put up a hand drawing of a cat and a woman as stick figures he said he did just before class. He told us his cat's name was Dodger and continued talking. I couldn't help but ask, "Does your wife have a name?" A fun moment for sure.
Psalms. I wonder if I'm most excited about this class. Why? Because I chose it and it specifically wasn't required. I couldn't gone with another Bible elective. It's during one of the most yucky times of day too... 3pm. I really wanted to take it though. I've always admired John MacArthur's handling of the Psalms and how well this genre of the Word of God can speak to our lives in a way that touches the emotions so perfectly that you know they're Holy Spirit empowered. I want to get to know the Psalms better to be able to preach them better. Just today I was reading Psalm 16:4a which says, "The sorrows of those who run after other gods shall multiply..." That was so true as I've faced idolatry in my life. Praise God He works miracles to mold us into the image of His Son! The funny thing about this class is that I'm the same age as the professor. I think we'll get along great.
3 Credits of Internship. So I just recently found out that all I gotta do for my internship is preach 3 more times and help out a rehearsal group in the beginning preaching class. All those weekly mentoring hours I thought were required... aren't. I still plan to do some of the originally planned things with my church though. this just makes it easier becuase now it's on our own time and we're not bound to a number of hours. So I'll be at church a lot for sure. I'm excited abotu that. I've also made my intership count as my PCM. This will allow more weekly time.
Beyond these things I've returned to my working out back here at Solheim. A freidn recently told me that my fatigue may be due to working out too often. Is 5-6 days a week, 45 min. to 1 1/2 hours too much? Lol... maybe. I'm gonna cut it back to 4 days a week and see how that goes. I know the multivitamin I'm taking every day has been helping for sure. I still haven't got into a healthy amount of prayer and personal musical worship as I'd like. It seems school is frustrating the quantity of time I'd like to spend with the Lord. I wish I could skip classes in spend the time in prayer and song, but alas... homework looms. It's also been fun to room with Nick from home for his first semester. I find that I am more sarcastic toward him. We play with eachother a lot. I just hope I don't get outta control. He has a lot of respect for me and I don't wanna act too childish.
This semester I intend to continue praying for my sisters and my future wife every Wednesday. I ask the Lord for the men of this campus to be men (courage, confidence, decisiveness, gentleness, and the strength and wisdom in how to love their respective ladies as Christ loved the Church) and the women to be women (willing hearts of submission and respect to their respective guys, emotional stability, and for divine protection against immature guys). I'm learning that I think we shouldn't act romantically based upon some mysterious spark between us and someone else. That's too fickle and could mean anything. I think we need to seek godliness... in our own lives and in the lives of those we consider for a future spouse (to not treat it that seriously is a waste of time and emotions). We must seek godliness and the Lord's will as best as we can discern them and act in the most honorable and wise way we can. to that end for myself I pray for me to be open to walk in the paths God lays out before me. I ask Him to prepare the way and grant me the grace to discern where He's working. I'm keeping my eyes and options open. I'm confessing my desire for marriage yet putting the Lord first. I need so much wisdom these days. I need the Lord because I can be so divided and confused. I ask God to help me as I seek who He may have for me in the future, whether it's near or far... though I wonder if it's near. I'm trying to continue to treat things reverently and not to take anything for granted when and if it does happen. Need to remember the implications of a relationship. A friend reminded me recently that godly women don't have to be found in Bible college. I'm aware of that. I'm also aware that time and distance don't matter if the Lord puts two people together. I don't need to worry that time is slipping away. God will do as He wishes and if He is working... it'll all work out. the question is, is He working? If so, how? With who? Grrrrrr... Lord?
I also wonder where God will take me after Moody. For the longest time I've wanted to go to Seminary, leaning primarily toward Master's Seminary in California. I'm still open to that. But in the past couple months I've really wondered if I should just get started in ministry. So I'm gonna look at my options for after graduation and see what God does. I could be in another country this time next year. Lord, what will you do?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
When will life begin?
I'm here at home on a Tuesday at noon. Work starts in 3 short hours. I just printed directions to take my mom to the hospital we're trying to get her into with an established doctor and regular health care. As I sit here and the time escapes me, I confess that I'm a mixture of emotions, thoughts, and dreams.
How much longer does my mom have to live? Will she come to know the Lord? When will my sister realize that life is beginning to happen to her and she needs to be responsible? When will she stop relying on others to do everything for her? Will my sister come to know the Lord?
Will my friend's wife ever be soundly saved? When will she realize that life isn't about having fun (enjoying the pleasures of sin and the world) and just turning up the music? How did we not see it in her years ago? Why do people treat marriage like dating? Does a covenant mean nothing?
Should I really go to seminary? As I continue to taste ministry (even if it's hard), as I continue to preach and teach God's people... I find that I don't want to stop. I am in love with serving God in these ways and I fall more in love with Him as I do them. When will I be free from the grocery business? November of 2011 will make 10 years that I've worked on and off with the same company while attending school. I've purposely turned down opportunities to make it a career. I could not be content doing that my whole life, nor do I think I'll have the energy it requires. It's just not worth it nor is it what God has called me to. When will I be free from my dad's roof... the filthy house and its' cockroach population? When will life begin? When will I wake up to the faces of my own family and get up an extra half hour to start breakfast one average day and maybe consider a passage to read at the table?
And as I think about these things... I also begin to ask, when I will I see my Lord face to face? Lord, when will earthly concerns no longer be a concern? When will I simply be with You? Maybe that's when life will really begin.
How much longer does my mom have to live? Will she come to know the Lord? When will my sister realize that life is beginning to happen to her and she needs to be responsible? When will she stop relying on others to do everything for her? Will my sister come to know the Lord?
Will my friend's wife ever be soundly saved? When will she realize that life isn't about having fun (enjoying the pleasures of sin and the world) and just turning up the music? How did we not see it in her years ago? Why do people treat marriage like dating? Does a covenant mean nothing?
Should I really go to seminary? As I continue to taste ministry (even if it's hard), as I continue to preach and teach God's people... I find that I don't want to stop. I am in love with serving God in these ways and I fall more in love with Him as I do them. When will I be free from the grocery business? November of 2011 will make 10 years that I've worked on and off with the same company while attending school. I've purposely turned down opportunities to make it a career. I could not be content doing that my whole life, nor do I think I'll have the energy it requires. It's just not worth it nor is it what God has called me to. When will I be free from my dad's roof... the filthy house and its' cockroach population? When will life begin? When will I wake up to the faces of my own family and get up an extra half hour to start breakfast one average day and maybe consider a passage to read at the table?
And as I think about these things... I also begin to ask, when I will I see my Lord face to face? Lord, when will earthly concerns no longer be a concern? When will I simply be with You? Maybe that's when life will really begin.
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Lord is My Inheritance
It's just after midnight, yet it's time to write. Many things are on my mind. Here's one of them...
I continue my trek through the ESV Old Testament in my daily Scripture reading. I've reached the book of Joshua. The other day at work I finished chapter 13 on my lunch break. All was as expected until one verse jumped off the page and tugged at my heart in a way that brought such a peace... just at the right time. Joshua 13:33 says, "But to the tribe of Levi Moses gave no inheritance; the Lord God of Israel is their inheritance, just as he said to them." This is important because it came on a day when I'd planned to fast for a purpose. No, it wasn't Wednesday. You see lately I can clearly discern the hand of God in my life. To what end I'm confident I know, but how that end will come about I still cannot see. The purpose was to refocus and make sure I still wanted the Lord, His will, and His timing more than a wife on my timing. It's been interesting this summer and even before then really. Many closed doors. It seems even when I consider a woman in my mind (even if it's a passing thought) that God closes the door immediately. I begin to wonder, "Why not close a few doors years ago before they happened? I needed it the for sure!" "Lord are you protecting me from a wrong decision?" "Lord, are you still preparing a woman greater and better suited than all the closed doors?" "Is it right around the corner? Is that why you're acting so fast?" It's hard to remember that closed doors are just as much an expression of God's wise sovereignty as are open doors. Recently though I was thinking back to all those girls in my past that I had a thing for or went out with and I laugh and thank God He didn't let me continue with them for one reason or another. He SO knows what He's doing. I'm dumb. I'm clumsy. I'm emotional. God is so good.
So I planned to fast that day and instead of eating on my break I called my mom at the hospital and then opened my Bible. While it certainly isn't a direct application (I'm not a Levite by descent) it occurs to me that while the other tribes had physical tangible inheritances (gifts, rewards), the Levites had none. Yet theirs was greater than these earthly rewards... it was the Lord Himself. The world looks on a lack of earthly blessing as a sign that maybe God hasn't blessed a person, but with the Lord the expectations change. The social norms mean nothing. Don't they? Before I could even think it through... I was hit with a wave of comfort as I read these words. Strange context for comfort, but it came. Ecclesiates 9:9 calls a wife a man's reward. She is a tangible gift from God just as the land was the tribes of Israel. For those who desire to be married and aren't, the Lord Himself is their reward... their inheritance. This isn't to say He is later replaced by a wife. If the Lord isn't always first you're only left with idolatry. Still I take comfort in this truth as I'm reminded that while those around me are finding the earthly love that I yearn for so strongly... I do have divine love and must nurture that beyond all else. The love of God and for God can and will never compare to the love of and for my future wife. My God was there when He formed me in my mother's womb, but my wife was not. My God will be there for me in difficult times in ways my wife never can or will be. He is and always shall be my inheritance. If that's true... then He certainly is that now.
At work all day I listen to the music the store plays. Most of it is love songs. I often joke that they're so bent on love songs (particularly sad ones) that even during CHRISTmas they manage to find sad CHRISTmas love songs. I was speaking to someone recently who couldn't conceive of a love greater than the love between a husband and a wife. I hear these songs and these ideas and see it on TV... the only love the world thinks is possible is romantic earthly love. But that can never be understood without knowing the love of God and the love for God. I thank Him so much He didn't leave me in what seemed an endless maze of looking for earthly love that would never satisfy. I thank Him for being my inheritance. My desire still remains strong and my eyes still remain open, but my heart belongs to Him before anyone else.
Thank you Lord for the reminder.
I continue my trek through the ESV Old Testament in my daily Scripture reading. I've reached the book of Joshua. The other day at work I finished chapter 13 on my lunch break. All was as expected until one verse jumped off the page and tugged at my heart in a way that brought such a peace... just at the right time. Joshua 13:33 says, "But to the tribe of Levi Moses gave no inheritance; the Lord God of Israel is their inheritance, just as he said to them." This is important because it came on a day when I'd planned to fast for a purpose. No, it wasn't Wednesday. You see lately I can clearly discern the hand of God in my life. To what end I'm confident I know, but how that end will come about I still cannot see. The purpose was to refocus and make sure I still wanted the Lord, His will, and His timing more than a wife on my timing. It's been interesting this summer and even before then really. Many closed doors. It seems even when I consider a woman in my mind (even if it's a passing thought) that God closes the door immediately. I begin to wonder, "Why not close a few doors years ago before they happened? I needed it the for sure!" "Lord are you protecting me from a wrong decision?" "Lord, are you still preparing a woman greater and better suited than all the closed doors?" "Is it right around the corner? Is that why you're acting so fast?" It's hard to remember that closed doors are just as much an expression of God's wise sovereignty as are open doors. Recently though I was thinking back to all those girls in my past that I had a thing for or went out with and I laugh and thank God He didn't let me continue with them for one reason or another. He SO knows what He's doing. I'm dumb. I'm clumsy. I'm emotional. God is so good.
So I planned to fast that day and instead of eating on my break I called my mom at the hospital and then opened my Bible. While it certainly isn't a direct application (I'm not a Levite by descent) it occurs to me that while the other tribes had physical tangible inheritances (gifts, rewards), the Levites had none. Yet theirs was greater than these earthly rewards... it was the Lord Himself. The world looks on a lack of earthly blessing as a sign that maybe God hasn't blessed a person, but with the Lord the expectations change. The social norms mean nothing. Don't they? Before I could even think it through... I was hit with a wave of comfort as I read these words. Strange context for comfort, but it came. Ecclesiates 9:9 calls a wife a man's reward. She is a tangible gift from God just as the land was the tribes of Israel. For those who desire to be married and aren't, the Lord Himself is their reward... their inheritance. This isn't to say He is later replaced by a wife. If the Lord isn't always first you're only left with idolatry. Still I take comfort in this truth as I'm reminded that while those around me are finding the earthly love that I yearn for so strongly... I do have divine love and must nurture that beyond all else. The love of God and for God can and will never compare to the love of and for my future wife. My God was there when He formed me in my mother's womb, but my wife was not. My God will be there for me in difficult times in ways my wife never can or will be. He is and always shall be my inheritance. If that's true... then He certainly is that now.
At work all day I listen to the music the store plays. Most of it is love songs. I often joke that they're so bent on love songs (particularly sad ones) that even during CHRISTmas they manage to find sad CHRISTmas love songs. I was speaking to someone recently who couldn't conceive of a love greater than the love between a husband and a wife. I hear these songs and these ideas and see it on TV... the only love the world thinks is possible is romantic earthly love. But that can never be understood without knowing the love of God and the love for God. I thank Him so much He didn't leave me in what seemed an endless maze of looking for earthly love that would never satisfy. I thank Him for being my inheritance. My desire still remains strong and my eyes still remain open, but my heart belongs to Him before anyone else.
Thank you Lord for the reminder.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)