Transparency and more

Last post I wanted to say more, but my sister had some difficulties I had to attend to and I couldn't think real well to write. I'm less than 2 weeks away from heading back up to school. I'm looking forward to it and have a lot to do when I get there. I need to square things away with my new job (that I'm confident in getting) and call the old one. I hear the old one has already gone through their turnover and is needing help again. It's good to know that's an option even though the income is small. I also tentatively need to make a doctor's appointment I should've made last semester.

I taught Sunday school beginning with the history and general information about Jehovah's Witnesses. Because it was the first Sunday resuming Sunday school, many of the youth were out and the junior high kids were sent into my room. I think they enjoyed it, however most of it was pure information which can get dry. We didn't have time to get into any of the Scripture. That will be for next week. I'm also about halfway through the Watchtower publication "What Does The Bible Really Teach?" I requested a copy from the Brooklyn headquaters because I don't have a copy at my house here in Texas. I'll also then discuss how to approach JWs and how they will approach us (from my personal experience). It will certainly be the more enjoyable and easier lesson from my standpoint. I'm going to teach the youth the first 3 rules of interpretation. These rules almost always solve interpretation problems... 1. Context, 2. Context, 3. Context. Consider yourself enlightened :)

This summer has been an interesting one for sure. This is especially true about the end of it. It feels like it's gone pretty fast though. Since I've finished the Old Testament, I've been focusing my time on preparing to teach, relaxing a bit with Jake 2.0 and Ben 10 Alien Force, and spending some time with my friends... with a little witnessing here and there. In continuing my blog trend of transparency I venture to share a few thoughts and struggles from life...

It's truly been a blessing to be there for ym friend through his breakup as he was certainly there for me. Thank the Lord for the mercy of His children. God is teaching me even as I am there for someone else. I also have been in a battle to try and help my mom. Over the years it's been more than a struggle to honor my mother and figure out what that means in my situation. My mom has been out of a steady job for a long time. Recently my work had a job fair. I told her about it that day and I'm afraid she lied to me about going. Again I spoke with managers at work who were excited to meet her. I thought she would come in yesterday and I call her to find out that she probably just woke up in the mid afternoon after staying up all night for days in a row. She got a job working at a holiday oriented store and said she wanted to work at both places. That job is obviously seasonal and won't give her what she needs, yet she can't even show up to meet with the managers and fill out an application at my work. She practically has to walk in and a make a phone call or two and she has the job. Her food stamps were recently reduced and my sister lives with her. Her only income is child support and her parents (who are about out of money) I'm thinking of my sister's well-being. As I pray for the situation, I am quickly reminded that of more importance is the eternity of my family. Jobs are temporal... souls are not. May our prayers be focused on the eternal as well as the temporal.

As I spend time with my friend, I also reflect back on my own breakup experience. It's interesting how two guys can "compare notes" in a humorous and yet enjoyable way. It's awesome to have brothers in Christ. As I reflect on the past in light of the present, I can confidently say that after over a year I thank the Lord that His grace has allowed me to continue in life and school with joy in my heart and a rest in His sovereignty that while wavering at times... has still been there. There are still unanswered questions as there always seem to be. I wonder if those were answered... would that put more confidence in my own knowledge isntead of God's control and care? Maybe that's my answer. It's been brought to my attention that even saying hello to my ex-girlfriend bothers her. I suppose this makes sense considering the reluctant responses to those greetings and the overall ignoring of my existence in person... lol. I suppose even trying to be kind is trying for too much. I knew it would be easier for me to ignore and avoid, so I wanted to go outside of my own comfort zone and practice an attitude of kindness regardless of reciprocation or mental noise. This would be the more daunting task I reasoned. So the courage brought out the good morning's, hey's, and how are you's.

In my mind as I thought about this I was immediately reminded of Proverbs 25:21-22, "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you." Little did I know this was exactly what was being felt. This feeling is not an intentional one on the part of the person who causes it, rather it's a natural result of showing the attitude toward someone they would not expect from you... the fact that it's the exact opposite of what they expect is what bothers them. The verse also says the Lord will reward you for doing so. For a time I was affirmed in my head that I was on the right path... my motives were pure in showing kindness and the Word of God was playing out as it says it would, right? Then we have this idea of honoring the wishes of the person whom you broke up with...

If she desires no communication, am I to honor that? What about this verse? I learned in Hermeneutics that Proverbs are general truths that don't direct every single individual circumstance in life. As I look again at this proverb, I think twice. Does it apply? Am I in the wrong here? Still not sure. It's interesting to sit back outside myself and watch all this take place. Is this what it all really looks like?

Honest thoughts:
Is it really ever possible to have a vibrant friendship with someone you once intimately shared life with? Who really is who's enemy and why? How and why can some hold bitterness so strong for so long? Why do I have to hear about these things from 3rd parties? Oh yeah, I don't need to worry about these things anymore. I'm free of obligation, right? I can operate in daily life, but I'm afraid I won't be able to shake this lack of clear reconciliation and presence of clear bitterness. Therefore I continue to do the only thing I can do... pray and ignore the clock.

"leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Matthew 5:24