I'm on the tail end of my break here in Texas. I'll get a good number of hours in due to a few tragedies. My job rehired me in 10 minutes and I worked the same day, thanks to God. The tendency or temptation would be to say "look how good I am, they wanted me back and took me back in no time!" No, the glory and provision goes to God. He wanted me back here for a reason. One thing I was able to do was cover a good amount of spiritual ground with most of the newer deli employees. That itself might have been God's purpose. Since I left I've wanted to witness to the guy who is a former Mormon in practice, but still is one in doctrine. He could be affectionately called a "backslidden Mormon." I also have had the opportunity to do some evangelism in the area and get some reading and study done for classes.
I preached at my old park and a guy from Albertsons I used to work with was there jogging to hear the gospel. Another day at the park, two Mormon missionaries (ages 20 and 21) were there. As I walked by with my Bible one of them came after me on his bike to talk. His immediate response to my Bible was that they believe it AND the Book of Mormon was the Word of God. We all three sat down at a bench and had a civil conversation. I admitted that would probably not read their testament and pray to see if it's true (I already know the God of truth and His written Word). I did say I had some questions however. They told me salvation is by faith in the sacrifice of Christ after all that we can do. I read to them Ephesians 2:8-9. They didn't know how to harmonize works and faith, but just said they work together somehow. We ended on a friendly note and I told them this discussion of faith and works for salvation has eternal ramifications and made it clear that we disagreed on that. They however told me that I had the Holy Spirit just as they did. They said my demeanor showed them I was saved. They said all churches have some of the truth... the Mormons just have the rest of it. Afterward I thought "wow, at least the JW's have the eternal punishment and judgment side of things right!" It almost seems as if even the Mormons are becoming somewhat postmodern!!
The Lord also gave me the courage to preach to the kids at the skate park again. I haven't done that in over a year. It was rather full too. I preached th entire message. Of course, kids were kids though. They cussed a lot and mocked a little. One of them lit up a cigarette. I ended saying that I would lay a small stack of my business cards on the slab of sidewalk I was standing (just outside the fence of the park). They could email any questions they may have and I'd answer them more clearly than I would in person. I also said I would sit on the nearby bench for the following 10 minutes to talk individually if they wanted. I did these things and afterward realized that they convey an important message that motivates me to consider this principle more. By putting the cards out in the open on the OTHER SIDE of the fence... the kids would have to walk out and around to pick up a card in front of all the rest of their friends and skateboarders. Furthermore, if they wanted to talk to me in person, they would have had to walk even further out in the open and in front of everyone. They would have had to risk the humuliation of their peers. Needless to say pride or fear prevented anyone from talk with me, but one kid did take a card. Pray for him. I could hear them talking as I sat there. Some were saying "go ask him _____." Others were saying "are you defending him?!" Please pray for those kids.
I also got to preach in good ole downtown ft. worth. I used the springboard "Where did the soul come from?" and discussed some of the things I was learning in school. I have video of part of the preaching that I'll upload to youtube soon. A woman actually got up on my stool partially drunk to spout her prideful ramblings of why she didn't believe in God. I allowed her to make a fool of herself and just continued preaching. Romans 1 didn't lie when it spoke of humanity. My plan is to go back downtown once or twice before I leave Easter Sunday night.
So I was talking to Travis Friday night and we talked about Tongues and if it was used legitimately today. He told a story that I think I was impressed with. He said he visited a church once where the worship leader "spoke in tongues" and afterward something very interesting and unusual happened. The pastor came up and pointed this out, only to say "here we want to do things biblically" and asked the congregation if anyone had an interpretation. When no one did he turned to the worship leader in love without a hint of anything else and politely asked him to not to do that. Does this suggest the pastor was familiar with it being done biblically? I don't know. I wonder if the pastor was reprimanded for that? I will admit that this is the closest thing I've seen to a biblical representation of the gift of tongues, while it was not done evangelistically as I think Acts suggests. Call me an open Cessationalist... from what I can see... the gift is not normative for today. On the other hand, I would certainly be interested in studying modern churches or observing if the gift was actually practiced biblically.
Last night I was the on the phone with a friend discussing a movie. He thought a major problem in the movie would have been solved if the main character just did one thing. He said he thought the villian was after something and he would stop his attack if he only had that something. I reasoned that the storyline didn't seem to give us that impression or reveal that to us and in fact the clues were somewhat against that theory. I began to put pieces together that made a case that the point of the villian's attack was simply to destroy the main character. This morning it hit me... my friend was interpreting the motive behind the villians' actions and based upon the context of the story and the pieces of the narrative, I interpreted it otherwise. I asked myself this morning... am I observing life the same way I'm observing the Bible? Is all that I'm learning now leaking into my life as I travel through day-to-day events and come across differences of opinion? I tell you... I love Bible college! Thank you Lord for my growth as an expositor and the ready memory of the principles I'm learning!
Finally I wanted to say that I've been praying (if I haven't said already) about if the Lord may want me to be a pastor... but not just that, a missions pastor? I spoke briefly with a professor of mine who was a missions pastor for 9 years. It never occurred to me that one could pastor a flock and in a way be a missionary as well. He said people in other countries have a lot less tools to study the Word than we do here and someone who has had a formal Bible education would have a significant advantage and a significant amount to bring to a people of another country. Immediately my mind dreamed into a future of teaching Hermeneutics and how to study the Bible to people who don't even have a concordance. I could imagine my heart being warmed when they grasp the basic principles of interpretation and Theology and soak up the spiritual milk and meat of the Word. I've always loved to see new believers learn and grow in Christ. Please be with me in prayer as I consider this and seek God's will.
Prayer requests:
-Mormons at the park and Mormon at work
-The seeds sown over break in the hearts of the others at work
-Missions pastor?
-Efficiency and diligence in reading for the remainder of the break
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Old Attraction and The Elusive Dollar
So I was at my PCM Sunday... I can't believe I spent about 10 hours studying to teach! But that will make it easier on me this week I think. As the folks were leaving, I stood by the door to shake hands and say bye. One lady in particular bounced up to me, poked my chest, and said "you're the one I've been looking for!" I oblviously said, "oh yeah?" For someone reason I had pure thoughts like, "maybe she heard about our service or wanted prayer...) I wasn't that lucky. Her friend pulled her arm and they left. It later occurred to me that her intentions were prolly not spiritual in any way! And this is a retirement home! Why is it that I seem to attract the strangest people!? That one goes right next to that Transvestite that winked at me in the mall years ago and the gay guys in the grocery store checkout lines that give those looks. I'm scared... truly.
I've been still struggling with finding work. However I'm glad to say I've been trusting God more. If he wants me here, I'll stay and it will all work out. I've sent out 5 resumes just today. One of which contacted me back and it was a money laundering employer with a Swiss bank account. I emailed them back and asked their company name and website. It seems a bit too good to be true for someone to just send you large amounts of money and tell you to take a cut out of it and send it somewhere else through Western Union. Sounds a bit fishy, eh? they wrote back with a copy/paste of the first email only to add "we don't yet have a website." ...yeah... riiiiiight. So the search continues! I just stay constant in prayer and hit the interent each day in search. I trust something turns up soon, because I still dunno where I'll be for Spring Break and it's less than 2 weeks away. Lord, please provide!!!
I'm also in prayer for the Lord's protection with the rest of the student outreach team that does street ministry here in the subway tunnels. The police have been harassing us like nobody's business every single night we go out. I haven't experienced this much opposition before. We even tried to get permits and they're either changing policies or just making it difficult for us. We can't even work within their own system to cooperate when we don't even legally have to!!! It's getting ridiculous. A buddy and I wasted a good chunk of time today only to be turned away because we didn't have Illinois licenses and it was 12 minutes past the time they preferred. It was rather frustrating. One of our guys is taking the legal route so we can get this resolved once and for all... we hope. I suppose I was naive in thinking I wouldn't have to pray this fervently about legitimate persecution. May I not get a martyr complex! May I stay humble and continue serving the Lord!
I've been still struggling with finding work. However I'm glad to say I've been trusting God more. If he wants me here, I'll stay and it will all work out. I've sent out 5 resumes just today. One of which contacted me back and it was a money laundering employer with a Swiss bank account. I emailed them back and asked their company name and website. It seems a bit too good to be true for someone to just send you large amounts of money and tell you to take a cut out of it and send it somewhere else through Western Union. Sounds a bit fishy, eh? they wrote back with a copy/paste of the first email only to add "we don't yet have a website." ...yeah... riiiiiight. So the search continues! I just stay constant in prayer and hit the interent each day in search. I trust something turns up soon, because I still dunno where I'll be for Spring Break and it's less than 2 weeks away. Lord, please provide!!!
I'm also in prayer for the Lord's protection with the rest of the student outreach team that does street ministry here in the subway tunnels. The police have been harassing us like nobody's business every single night we go out. I haven't experienced this much opposition before. We even tried to get permits and they're either changing policies or just making it difficult for us. We can't even work within their own system to cooperate when we don't even legally have to!!! It's getting ridiculous. A buddy and I wasted a good chunk of time today only to be turned away because we didn't have Illinois licenses and it was 12 minutes past the time they preferred. It was rather frustrating. One of our guys is taking the legal route so we can get this resolved once and for all... we hope. I suppose I was naive in thinking I wouldn't have to pray this fervently about legitimate persecution. May I not get a martyr complex! May I stay humble and continue serving the Lord!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Life, Confrontation, and Ministry
Time flies, doesn't it? It's amazing to think it's nearly Midterm time. My time here thus far has been rewarding and yet busy. I know it will only get busier. Yet through it all, God is good and worthy of all praise. Recently we had the annual Lipsync. Apparently it was earlier this year and as a result there weren't as many performances. I was planning not to go due to the workload I had and the fact that there was a small fee this year. That didn't stop a few of the girls from our sister floor from calling me up and offering to pay my way. Needless to say... I'm a wimp. So it was a good show and didn't last the full amount of time scheduled, which still allowed me to only be up till about 1:30am finishing a massive paper. The guy who won 2nd place was on our floor. I thought he shoulda got first. Among other songs, he did Billy Jean and was an awesome dancer. He even dressed the part real well. (Apparently, we're allowed to dance at the Lipsync as long as we're lipsyncing).
I'm still searching for a job. The 2 interviews I've had wouldn't yield stable income. Frankly, I'm getting to the point where it doesn't matter what kind of income it would yield. I've been checking Craigslist every day and have sent out resumes to multiple places. I also have an application in process with the facilities crew here on campus. I got a call last night for a Cashier position at a nearby University that will pay less than I want, but would be stable. We're still setting up an interview. Also another grocery store chain listed openings in Deli and Produce yesterday. That almost seemed like divine intervention when I saw it. We'll see where that goes. I truly think God has been testing my faith in this. I've struggled so much in the past month by walking by sight and not by faith to the degree I should. I'm coming to the place I was before I got here... "Lord, if you want me here, you'll provide... if you don't, you won't" and then just keep truckin with the simple faith of a child.
All of that also determines what I'm doing for Spring Break. The deadline was yesterday to turn in the paperwork to stay on campus over break, but it would cost around $150 + food to stay unless I have a campus job. Furthermore, you can't stay at all unless you prove you have some kind of job here. So I decided I'll now do one of two things: 1. Go home and attempt to setup work there with Tom Thumb again or 2. Stay with someone who lives nearby here and commute to whatever job I get here during break. The problem is with the commute, I might have to pay a bit more for extra transportation, which would be almost the same amount as staying on campus. So my decisions in the coming weeks will be a difficult one. I would get cheaper plane tickets than normal I went home though...?
I'm glad to be learning so much as well. My two favorite classes are Studying and Teaching the Bible and The Church and its Doctrines. They are entry level classes, yet they are filling in the gaps for me. If there were aspects of the Trinity I was confused about... those are clearer, if there was something I was overlooking in my reading of the Bible... I'm more prone to see it now. Our basic Theology textbook is "A Faith For All Seasons" By Ted Dorman. It's one of the books I'm sure I'll keep and use in the future... even if part of it accidentally fell in the toilet (it was clean I assure you).
-I've been enjoying my practical ministry as well. It seems each week I become more and more confident and plow new ground in Bible Exposition. I'm also trying to get to know the residents better. Part of me wishes we had more time with them. It's so difficult to lead a ministry only once a week and try to be active in people's lives. More than that, to encourage and get to know your team. I've been trying to cultivate an atmosphere like that and thankfully God is working among us on both fronts... although I wish it was more. True ministry is hardly done once a week. Along those lines and because of my struggles in trusting God, I decided to make an extra effort to go out with Student Outreach this past week and continue preaching the precious gospel of salvation. I've had a such a burden to continue doing this and I find that when times are tough spiritually... the best thing to do is amp up our service to the Lord because it's in those times that walk the opposite direction of the flesh. What happens when trials come? We not only trust God and continue, we step further. May God use those 2 days for His glory and may my focus be where it needs to be. Consequently, it also gave me a taste of what working would be like. That was a good 6 hours out of my week, which will be nothing compared to the 15-20 I'll work when I get a job.
The team enjoyed my company and called me "an asset." Oh Lord keep me humble! It's not about me... it's about YOU! I told the people at Concord Place Sunday morning that when they say I did a good job, I've reached a place where I can say thank you and not feel prideful inside, but I'm still not there yet. My internal and external should say, "To God be the glory forever and ever... amen." Being outside so much last week, I also got a 2 day taste of a little flu as well. One of the Student Outreach leaders picked up the same kinda thing. I felt like a zombie yesterday. So I've been praying about the PCM ministries I'm involved in... which should I choose for next semester? The one I need more practice in, but requires more prep.? Or the other one for which I also have a passion? If I plan to take Greek Grammar and OT Survey both next semester, will I be able to set aside about 6 hours or more to prepare a sermon each week? God help me! I want to teach and I want to preach, which should I do?
Another burden rising up in me is one that is not so public just yet... at least until I hit the "publish post" button. That's alright though, I can't always be shy about my opinions these days. I've always desired for my journal to be an open book. Take it as you please and discuss it with me as you wish... but it's coming out of my mind today! Another burden I've had recently is in that of the evangelistic perspective here... in the PCM office and perhaps the school itself in some ways. I understand these views are common and I consider all of this in light of my "holy crusader" past when I would charge at people who did anything "wrong" in my opinion. I consider all that as I mention what I do today and continue to pray for God's guidance and the tender spirit of speaking the truth in love. I've noticed the common thread of not only the fringes of the modern gospel (not it... what surrounds it), but an emphasis on unintentional evangelism. In fact, the core class textbook is titled, "Permission Evangelism." I can say little else about it or the class until I've taken it however. I wouldn't wanna throw stones at it if the evidence hasn't even been reviewed, nor would I want to come off as a rash new student who just wants to ignorantly fight his cause.
I don't intend to start a revolution and the Braveheart of a small representation of the student body, but merely ask "have you considered this?" "please pray about this..." If that's as far as it goes, then I've done my part and been obedient to the burden laid on me. I must also use constructive criticism, however. I cannot forget this! We can't criticize a model without suggestions. This only leads to it falling on deaf ears or changes that miss the point and/or that we end up still complaining about. What I can rejoice in, is that the street team here is full of leadership who believe in biblical evangelism... more specifically, who believe in the (I believe) most effectively biblical form of sharing the message of eternal life... the preparation of the heart through the law of God. Their tracts are biblical and they teach the principles to the team before going out. They recently were asked to teach the Graduate students the principles and take them out as well. What a blessing! I wish I could've gone! Other ideas from the influence of the Student Outreach team are also turning in the minds of those leading it. More than that, we have some professors who understand and have a more biblical perspective!
Recently, the Intro To Ministry class led by the PCM dept. held a day where the class split up as they wanted... and learned "how to lead an (adult, teen, child) to Christ." I saw this and rolled my eyes. My immediate thought was, "the Holy Spirit leads people to Christ... we only share the message... we don't have to 'close the deal'." I almost decided to skip class that day. Instead I chose to go to the one I was least acquainted with how to approach... children. Apparently they called in a guy from Child Evangelism Fellowship to teach the group. I was very impressed with his presentation and perspective. Afterward we talked about it. I thanked him greatly for his presentation and we exchanged business cards. I introduced him to Way of The Master, although he had already used it based on the same principles. Isn't it wonderful that it's based around the Word of God and not Ray Comfort? So much so that believers have figured it out already? I praise God for the power of His Word. So we have these strands of influence in biblical evangelism throughout the school and associated with the school already. But how do we harmonize all of this? How do we get on the same page? This is fundamental question.
Dr. Easley, the school's President made a good point today as well about Gratitude. He asked the students questions like, "do you realize how blessed you are that some little old lady is selling bonds and giving to the school because she met 2 godly women from Moody Bible Institute and wants to help them get through school?" I was so thankful for that. Since I've been here I've heard all kinds of complaints and immature jokes about the Student Dining Room or that the Diversity chapel wasn't a good representation of diversity or whatever else and I'm frankly sick of them! I would echo Dr. Easley who said, "If you don't like it, leave... because there are four more students that are ready to take your place." These aren't theological concerns. They aren't moral concerns. They are STUPID COMPLAINTS! As I sat to eat breakfast this morning it aggrivated me to tolerate the immature words of those behind me as they made themselves out to be high school kids with their comments and murmuring. Even outside that I've heard Moody students using profanity. I've heard vulgar jokes of sexual innuendo. I hear racist jokes. Then I must take a breath and remember two things: 1. Sanctification is a process and 2. Just because a person is at Bible college does not mean they know the Lord. I can see myself standing up on a cafeteria table and yelling, "Students of Moody, Listen! Are you here to serve, know, and grow or because your parents wanted you to be here!?" As I mentally place one foot on the table, God taps me on the shoulder. We need not pull out the tares among the wheat... God will take precious care of that.
I suppose I've been on my written soapbox long enough.
Current prayer list:
-Gus, as he considers joining the Orthodox Presbyterian Church
-Johnny and Christina
-Dustin and his paper
-Earl: possible cancer
-Finding some income (job)
-Encouraging my roommate in priorities and a holy life
-What should I do for PCM next semester?
-How, if, and when should I approach the PCM office/possibly the school about evangelism?
-Ministering to the residents at Concord Place
I'm still searching for a job. The 2 interviews I've had wouldn't yield stable income. Frankly, I'm getting to the point where it doesn't matter what kind of income it would yield. I've been checking Craigslist every day and have sent out resumes to multiple places. I also have an application in process with the facilities crew here on campus. I got a call last night for a Cashier position at a nearby University that will pay less than I want, but would be stable. We're still setting up an interview. Also another grocery store chain listed openings in Deli and Produce yesterday. That almost seemed like divine intervention when I saw it. We'll see where that goes. I truly think God has been testing my faith in this. I've struggled so much in the past month by walking by sight and not by faith to the degree I should. I'm coming to the place I was before I got here... "Lord, if you want me here, you'll provide... if you don't, you won't" and then just keep truckin with the simple faith of a child.
All of that also determines what I'm doing for Spring Break. The deadline was yesterday to turn in the paperwork to stay on campus over break, but it would cost around $150 + food to stay unless I have a campus job. Furthermore, you can't stay at all unless you prove you have some kind of job here. So I decided I'll now do one of two things: 1. Go home and attempt to setup work there with Tom Thumb again or 2. Stay with someone who lives nearby here and commute to whatever job I get here during break. The problem is with the commute, I might have to pay a bit more for extra transportation, which would be almost the same amount as staying on campus. So my decisions in the coming weeks will be a difficult one. I would get cheaper plane tickets than normal I went home though...?
I'm glad to be learning so much as well. My two favorite classes are Studying and Teaching the Bible and The Church and its Doctrines. They are entry level classes, yet they are filling in the gaps for me. If there were aspects of the Trinity I was confused about... those are clearer, if there was something I was overlooking in my reading of the Bible... I'm more prone to see it now. Our basic Theology textbook is "A Faith For All Seasons" By Ted Dorman. It's one of the books I'm sure I'll keep and use in the future... even if part of it accidentally fell in the toilet (it was clean I assure you).
-I've been enjoying my practical ministry as well. It seems each week I become more and more confident and plow new ground in Bible Exposition. I'm also trying to get to know the residents better. Part of me wishes we had more time with them. It's so difficult to lead a ministry only once a week and try to be active in people's lives. More than that, to encourage and get to know your team. I've been trying to cultivate an atmosphere like that and thankfully God is working among us on both fronts... although I wish it was more. True ministry is hardly done once a week. Along those lines and because of my struggles in trusting God, I decided to make an extra effort to go out with Student Outreach this past week and continue preaching the precious gospel of salvation. I've had a such a burden to continue doing this and I find that when times are tough spiritually... the best thing to do is amp up our service to the Lord because it's in those times that walk the opposite direction of the flesh. What happens when trials come? We not only trust God and continue, we step further. May God use those 2 days for His glory and may my focus be where it needs to be. Consequently, it also gave me a taste of what working would be like. That was a good 6 hours out of my week, which will be nothing compared to the 15-20 I'll work when I get a job.
The team enjoyed my company and called me "an asset." Oh Lord keep me humble! It's not about me... it's about YOU! I told the people at Concord Place Sunday morning that when they say I did a good job, I've reached a place where I can say thank you and not feel prideful inside, but I'm still not there yet. My internal and external should say, "To God be the glory forever and ever... amen." Being outside so much last week, I also got a 2 day taste of a little flu as well. One of the Student Outreach leaders picked up the same kinda thing. I felt like a zombie yesterday. So I've been praying about the PCM ministries I'm involved in... which should I choose for next semester? The one I need more practice in, but requires more prep.? Or the other one for which I also have a passion? If I plan to take Greek Grammar and OT Survey both next semester, will I be able to set aside about 6 hours or more to prepare a sermon each week? God help me! I want to teach and I want to preach, which should I do?
Another burden rising up in me is one that is not so public just yet... at least until I hit the "publish post" button. That's alright though, I can't always be shy about my opinions these days. I've always desired for my journal to be an open book. Take it as you please and discuss it with me as you wish... but it's coming out of my mind today! Another burden I've had recently is in that of the evangelistic perspective here... in the PCM office and perhaps the school itself in some ways. I understand these views are common and I consider all of this in light of my "holy crusader" past when I would charge at people who did anything "wrong" in my opinion. I consider all that as I mention what I do today and continue to pray for God's guidance and the tender spirit of speaking the truth in love. I've noticed the common thread of not only the fringes of the modern gospel (not it... what surrounds it), but an emphasis on unintentional evangelism. In fact, the core class textbook is titled, "Permission Evangelism." I can say little else about it or the class until I've taken it however. I wouldn't wanna throw stones at it if the evidence hasn't even been reviewed, nor would I want to come off as a rash new student who just wants to ignorantly fight his cause.
I don't intend to start a revolution and the Braveheart of a small representation of the student body, but merely ask "have you considered this?" "please pray about this..." If that's as far as it goes, then I've done my part and been obedient to the burden laid on me. I must also use constructive criticism, however. I cannot forget this! We can't criticize a model without suggestions. This only leads to it falling on deaf ears or changes that miss the point and/or that we end up still complaining about. What I can rejoice in, is that the street team here is full of leadership who believe in biblical evangelism... more specifically, who believe in the (I believe) most effectively biblical form of sharing the message of eternal life... the preparation of the heart through the law of God. Their tracts are biblical and they teach the principles to the team before going out. They recently were asked to teach the Graduate students the principles and take them out as well. What a blessing! I wish I could've gone! Other ideas from the influence of the Student Outreach team are also turning in the minds of those leading it. More than that, we have some professors who understand and have a more biblical perspective!
Recently, the Intro To Ministry class led by the PCM dept. held a day where the class split up as they wanted... and learned "how to lead an (adult, teen, child) to Christ." I saw this and rolled my eyes. My immediate thought was, "the Holy Spirit leads people to Christ... we only share the message... we don't have to 'close the deal'." I almost decided to skip class that day. Instead I chose to go to the one I was least acquainted with how to approach... children. Apparently they called in a guy from Child Evangelism Fellowship to teach the group. I was very impressed with his presentation and perspective. Afterward we talked about it. I thanked him greatly for his presentation and we exchanged business cards. I introduced him to Way of The Master, although he had already used it based on the same principles. Isn't it wonderful that it's based around the Word of God and not Ray Comfort? So much so that believers have figured it out already? I praise God for the power of His Word. So we have these strands of influence in biblical evangelism throughout the school and associated with the school already. But how do we harmonize all of this? How do we get on the same page? This is fundamental question.
Dr. Easley, the school's President made a good point today as well about Gratitude. He asked the students questions like, "do you realize how blessed you are that some little old lady is selling bonds and giving to the school because she met 2 godly women from Moody Bible Institute and wants to help them get through school?" I was so thankful for that. Since I've been here I've heard all kinds of complaints and immature jokes about the Student Dining Room or that the Diversity chapel wasn't a good representation of diversity or whatever else and I'm frankly sick of them! I would echo Dr. Easley who said, "If you don't like it, leave... because there are four more students that are ready to take your place." These aren't theological concerns. They aren't moral concerns. They are STUPID COMPLAINTS! As I sat to eat breakfast this morning it aggrivated me to tolerate the immature words of those behind me as they made themselves out to be high school kids with their comments and murmuring. Even outside that I've heard Moody students using profanity. I've heard vulgar jokes of sexual innuendo. I hear racist jokes. Then I must take a breath and remember two things: 1. Sanctification is a process and 2. Just because a person is at Bible college does not mean they know the Lord. I can see myself standing up on a cafeteria table and yelling, "Students of Moody, Listen! Are you here to serve, know, and grow or because your parents wanted you to be here!?" As I mentally place one foot on the table, God taps me on the shoulder. We need not pull out the tares among the wheat... God will take precious care of that.
I suppose I've been on my written soapbox long enough.
Current prayer list:
-Gus, as he considers joining the Orthodox Presbyterian Church
-Johnny and Christina
-Dustin and his paper
-Earl: possible cancer
-Finding some income (job)
-Encouraging my roommate in priorities and a holy life
-What should I do for PCM next semester?
-How, if, and when should I approach the PCM office/possibly the school about evangelism?
-Ministering to the residents at Concord Place
Friday, January 25, 2008
Internal Revival, Open and Honest
"Preaching makes me well; As soon as I open my mouth to speak, my weariness is forgotten."
-Chrysostom
This afternoon I was reading one of my textbooks for the class I'm taking that is most directed toward my major. The book is called "The Company of The Preachers" By David Larsen. This chapter spoke of some of the early church fathers ending with Augustine. I chose to study in library for the first time and it was refreshingly quiet. I spent a couple hours reading with a brief nap at the beginning. As I neared the end of the chapter, I had a kind of renewal of the reason and passion for why I'm here. I'm probably clearer headed right now than I have been since I've moved in here. It was as if God worked in the quiet (as he often does for me) to spark a small revival in my heart and mind. The Spirit cut through the anxious worrying perspective I've battled with since I've been here and reminded me of who I am in Christ and who I've been called to be in this lifetime.
I've yet to preach since I've been here and as a guy on my floor so rightly suggested... I have "the itch." That compulsion to preach that can only be satisfied by indulgence in such a practice that is a good thing to call a habit or obsession in light of the calling and commission. I simply have a burden to preach. I've been looking through Adrian Rogers' biography and I didn't know he spent some time street preaching... standing on a bench, no less. This Sunday I get to teach God's Word and am excited to do so, yet I struggle with a feeling of inadequacy. I'm blown away by the things I can learn while here and I want to be the most effective as I handle God's holy Word. I don't want to misinterpret or miss even one kernal of truth in one verse. However I ultimately face the fact that God's Word is and always will be living and active and I will always be constantly learning from it as I pursue my future in ministry. I'm reminded that good decisions are VERY often made by bad decisions and accuracy is often molded by mistakes that teach us. I suppose my task is to humbly submit to the fact that God will sanctify me in His good timing. It's not an easy thing however to just use what you know and let God do the rest. It's all in attitude. I'm certainly teachable, but I worry about how the correction will come. May the Lord calm my spirit in this.
Oh how I wish I would be able to better be a brother to my brothers and sisters here... God constantly reminds me of how fragile I can be... all the emotional turmoil... all the concientiousness and introspective noise... the mroe I think about it, the more I'm amazed at the fact that God saved ME!!! Furthermore, how can God use ME for ministry? We talked about this in a class recently here... even through all this, I give Him glory... but do I praise him enough? What a blessing I have been given! There have been days here when I forget the supernatural way God brought me here. I've heard many stories form other students that also miraculous... one of whom was given $4,000 just to go here! God is good! Wednesday we had a worship chapel with nothing but worship for 45 minutes. It felt like 15 minutes. Thursday the speaker couldn't make it and it became the same. If onyl I could play piano or guitar or something... I would worship God in that way ever day.
Last night my roommate told me that I often talk in my sleep. He and his friend said it could be because I have a lot on my mind. that makes me wonder if I did that at home... I seem to always have a lot on my mind. Some of the things that are on my mind at the moment are 1. Trusting God for income (I've applied to campus security) 2. Staying focused (inwardly) 3. Remaining humble 4. Encouraging/showing grace toward my roommate 5. Building friendships that will last (male ones and... no-pressure female ones) 6. Getting enough sleep/Staying awake in classes 7. Will I prepare enough to teach on Sundays each week? 8. Will I have to fork out a bunch of money for a doctor's visit Tuesday? 9. What do the people around me think of me? (This one is so stupid, yet a struggle)
Well... I wonder if I should go and preach tonight by myself... that might be fun.
-Chrysostom
This afternoon I was reading one of my textbooks for the class I'm taking that is most directed toward my major. The book is called "The Company of The Preachers" By David Larsen. This chapter spoke of some of the early church fathers ending with Augustine. I chose to study in library for the first time and it was refreshingly quiet. I spent a couple hours reading with a brief nap at the beginning. As I neared the end of the chapter, I had a kind of renewal of the reason and passion for why I'm here. I'm probably clearer headed right now than I have been since I've moved in here. It was as if God worked in the quiet (as he often does for me) to spark a small revival in my heart and mind. The Spirit cut through the anxious worrying perspective I've battled with since I've been here and reminded me of who I am in Christ and who I've been called to be in this lifetime.
I've yet to preach since I've been here and as a guy on my floor so rightly suggested... I have "the itch." That compulsion to preach that can only be satisfied by indulgence in such a practice that is a good thing to call a habit or obsession in light of the calling and commission. I simply have a burden to preach. I've been looking through Adrian Rogers' biography and I didn't know he spent some time street preaching... standing on a bench, no less. This Sunday I get to teach God's Word and am excited to do so, yet I struggle with a feeling of inadequacy. I'm blown away by the things I can learn while here and I want to be the most effective as I handle God's holy Word. I don't want to misinterpret or miss even one kernal of truth in one verse. However I ultimately face the fact that God's Word is and always will be living and active and I will always be constantly learning from it as I pursue my future in ministry. I'm reminded that good decisions are VERY often made by bad decisions and accuracy is often molded by mistakes that teach us. I suppose my task is to humbly submit to the fact that God will sanctify me in His good timing. It's not an easy thing however to just use what you know and let God do the rest. It's all in attitude. I'm certainly teachable, but I worry about how the correction will come. May the Lord calm my spirit in this.
Oh how I wish I would be able to better be a brother to my brothers and sisters here... God constantly reminds me of how fragile I can be... all the emotional turmoil... all the concientiousness and introspective noise... the mroe I think about it, the more I'm amazed at the fact that God saved ME!!! Furthermore, how can God use ME for ministry? We talked about this in a class recently here... even through all this, I give Him glory... but do I praise him enough? What a blessing I have been given! There have been days here when I forget the supernatural way God brought me here. I've heard many stories form other students that also miraculous... one of whom was given $4,000 just to go here! God is good! Wednesday we had a worship chapel with nothing but worship for 45 minutes. It felt like 15 minutes. Thursday the speaker couldn't make it and it became the same. If onyl I could play piano or guitar or something... I would worship God in that way ever day.
Last night my roommate told me that I often talk in my sleep. He and his friend said it could be because I have a lot on my mind. that makes me wonder if I did that at home... I seem to always have a lot on my mind. Some of the things that are on my mind at the moment are 1. Trusting God for income (I've applied to campus security) 2. Staying focused (inwardly) 3. Remaining humble 4. Encouraging/showing grace toward my roommate 5. Building friendships that will last (male ones and... no-pressure female ones) 6. Getting enough sleep/Staying awake in classes 7. Will I prepare enough to teach on Sundays each week? 8. Will I have to fork out a bunch of money for a doctor's visit Tuesday? 9. What do the people around me think of me? (This one is so stupid, yet a struggle)
Well... I wonder if I should go and preach tonight by myself... that might be fun.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Week 1
As my laundry is going, I feel the need to write. Week one is over and yes I've survived. I now have a picture of the demands placed upon me. I have yet to start working or preparing to teach next Sunday at the Retirement Home Service for my PCM. Those 2 things will drastically determine my time. I MUST continue to pray. On a temporal level... this seems nearly impossible. Then I remember that many who have come and gone before me here at Moody have accomplished this task and even more I'm sure. I've never taken full time classes before. I wonder if I'll ever have time to build and maintain friendships while I'm here...? Friendships that last, that is. When the time comes, will I have time to devote to getting to know a woman God may place in my life... whomever she may be? That's not something I'm thinking too seriously about at the moment though. I just wanna meet my brothers and sisters and get to know my spiritual family here.
I've spent the majority of the day listening to the Bible on audio and writing chapter titles for one of my classes. I've now finished Matthew, Mark, and Luke. It hits me that soon I won't have the luxury always of spending an entire day doing schoolwork. Hmm... I'm listening to a sermon by Adrian Rogers right now and he's quoting D. L. Moody. That's cool. I've pretty firmly chosen Adrian Rogers to do my report on for my History of Biblical Exposition class. I enjoy his passion and now I'll have the opportunity to look at his life and 5 of his sermons more in-depthly.
I'm also excited to preach in the streets soon. I don't see where I'll find time for that either, but there's too much in me not to let it out. "Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" I have no wife or family to worry about neglecting and I'm sure I'll find my burnout limit, but I have to keep in mind why I'm here and who I am. I can't stop thanking God for His gracious provision and direction to put me here in Chicago at Bible College! I still can't get over it! I'm in Chicago!! I'm living in a dorm!! I'm away from home!! I just can't believe it... who would've known I'd be here a few years ago? It's funny.. I've found that I'm a few years older than many of those I've met so far. I really wish I didn't take that year off after I graduated High School.
My morning devotions are still going. They're shorter, but they're going. I've been reading the copy of My Utmost For His Highest that I was given before leaving home. It belonged to the father of a woman in our church and she gave it to me. I've visited Moody Church. It's alright... although I think the worship is a bit more rigid than I prefer. The sanctuary is beautiful for sure though. Tomorrow I visit a small church right near school with a friend... they had a Bible study that used a WOTM video last Sunday night. They need to be careful or they might draw me too easily...lol. After this week it will be quite some time though before I visit a local church.
During orientation weekend, the school showed the new Batman movie. I wanted to walk out partly through it. I left near the end. I hoped at least the language would be cleaned up... especially when it took God's name in vain. I toss 1 Cor. 10:23 back and forth in my mind as I did that night. Is this an issue of my conscience? Do I have a point? Am I beginning to compromise or am I becoming the stronger brother mentioned in Romans 14? I'm going to try to just stay from those unanswered situations when it comes to movies until I have a more firm answer on where my conscience stands.
My current prayer agenda:
-Clearing my job transfer and possibly getting some replacement income until then if needed.
-Is it God's will that I work while being here? I want to ask Him to provide so that I don't have to... I could do so much more for the kingdom. Of course, I'll continue to try for a job until God provides if He desires.
-Efficiency in studying and time mgmt.
-That I would continue to settle in with my new campus-sized spiritual family
-That I would be able to encourage my roommate in spiritual growth
I've spent the majority of the day listening to the Bible on audio and writing chapter titles for one of my classes. I've now finished Matthew, Mark, and Luke. It hits me that soon I won't have the luxury always of spending an entire day doing schoolwork. Hmm... I'm listening to a sermon by Adrian Rogers right now and he's quoting D. L. Moody. That's cool. I've pretty firmly chosen Adrian Rogers to do my report on for my History of Biblical Exposition class. I enjoy his passion and now I'll have the opportunity to look at his life and 5 of his sermons more in-depthly.
I'm also excited to preach in the streets soon. I don't see where I'll find time for that either, but there's too much in me not to let it out. "Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" I have no wife or family to worry about neglecting and I'm sure I'll find my burnout limit, but I have to keep in mind why I'm here and who I am. I can't stop thanking God for His gracious provision and direction to put me here in Chicago at Bible College! I still can't get over it! I'm in Chicago!! I'm living in a dorm!! I'm away from home!! I just can't believe it... who would've known I'd be here a few years ago? It's funny.. I've found that I'm a few years older than many of those I've met so far. I really wish I didn't take that year off after I graduated High School.
My morning devotions are still going. They're shorter, but they're going. I've been reading the copy of My Utmost For His Highest that I was given before leaving home. It belonged to the father of a woman in our church and she gave it to me. I've visited Moody Church. It's alright... although I think the worship is a bit more rigid than I prefer. The sanctuary is beautiful for sure though. Tomorrow I visit a small church right near school with a friend... they had a Bible study that used a WOTM video last Sunday night. They need to be careful or they might draw me too easily...lol. After this week it will be quite some time though before I visit a local church.
During orientation weekend, the school showed the new Batman movie. I wanted to walk out partly through it. I left near the end. I hoped at least the language would be cleaned up... especially when it took God's name in vain. I toss 1 Cor. 10:23 back and forth in my mind as I did that night. Is this an issue of my conscience? Do I have a point? Am I beginning to compromise or am I becoming the stronger brother mentioned in Romans 14? I'm going to try to just stay from those unanswered situations when it comes to movies until I have a more firm answer on where my conscience stands.
My current prayer agenda:
-Clearing my job transfer and possibly getting some replacement income until then if needed.
-Is it God's will that I work while being here? I want to ask Him to provide so that I don't have to... I could do so much more for the kingdom. Of course, I'll continue to try for a job until God provides if He desires.
-Efficiency in studying and time mgmt.
-That I would continue to settle in with my new campus-sized spiritual family
-That I would be able to encourage my roommate in spiritual growth
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