Updates:
There's little to say I suppose. More closed doors on the churches. Closed doors for a better secular job. Nothing is lining up. I often feel hopeless. It's hard to press on, but I know I will. The Lord is with me. I've been trying to be more disciplined in my schedule and go to bed around 10, get up at 6am, hit the gym, and then go to Panera to job and church hunt until I go to work at 11 if I close. I've been maintaining that for the most part. My nights are spent with dinner and a book lately.
Sacred Marriage:
When Matthew was here visiting me he told me of how he has wanted to buy me a gift. He tried looking for things in Chicago to bring down. he even asked his brother to pick up something for me once while he was at the store, but his brother didn't have the money for it. When Matthew got here he noticed that I'd owned all the things he was planning to buy me. As we talked he mentioned to me a book I'd heard about before but never knew the premise. He later asked if I wanted that book and he bought it for me. The book was Sacred Marriage By Gary Thomas. Apparently he has a number of books on a similar theme and perspective. I found out that Matthew was recommended the book by a mutual friend who is engaged. As I've read this book my heart has been so touched and encouraged. I told my pastor I was reading it and he said he'd been using it for years in marital counseling. I spoke with his wife and she said she'd used the woman's version of the book "Sacred Influence" by the same author. I'm only in Chapter 5, but I've found myself underlining on nearly every page. I wanted to share some of the author's insights and maybe how they've touched my heart lately at just the right time in my life...
Gary asks the fundamental questions of his perspective on pg. 13 in the beginning of the book, "What if God didn't design marriage to be "easier"? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place? What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"
He quotes from Katherine Ann Porter in an essay written in the 1940's titled "The Necessary Enemy" as she makes the following observations about a young wife, "This very contemporary young woman finds herself facing the oldest and ugliest of dilemma of marriage. She is dismayed, horrified, full of guilt and forebodings because she is finding out little by little that she is capable of hating her husband, whom she loves faithfully. She can hate him at times as fiercely and mysteriously, indeed in terribly much the same way, as often she hated her parents, her brothers, and sisters, whom she loves, when she was a child... She thought she had outgrown all this, but here it was again, an element in her own nature she could not control, or feared she could not."
He continues, "'Her hatred is real and her love is real' Porter explains of this young wife. This is reality of the human heart, the inevitability of two sinful people pledging to live together, with all their faults for the rest of their lives."
"Any mature, spiritually sensitive view of marriage must be built on the foundation of mature love rather than romanticism"
"Many will break up their relationship and try to recreate the passionate romance with someone else. Other couples will descend into a sort of marital guerilla warfare, a passive-aggressive power play as each partner blames the other for personal dissatisfaction or lack of excitement."
"If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there's no question-stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can't imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you'd never have to face otherwise."
"Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value, and I slowly began to understand that the real purpose of marriage may not be happiness as much as it is holiness."
"I found there was a tremendous amount of immaturity within me that my marriage directly confronted. The key was that I had to change my view of marriage. If the purpose of marriage was simply to enjoy infatuation and make me 'happy,' then I'd have to get a 'new' marriage every 2 or 3 years. But if I really wanted to see God transform me from the inside out, I'd need to concentrate on changing myself rather than on changing my spouse. In fact, you might even say, the more difficult my spouse proved to be, the more opportunity I'd have to grow."
"I didn't decide to focus on changing myself so that I could have a tension-free marriage or so that I'd be happier or even more content in my marriage. Instead, I adopted the attitude that marriage is one of many life situations that help me to draw my sense of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment FROM God."
"God appreciates our quirks and understands our hearts' good intentions even when they might be masked by incredibly stupid behavior."
"I believe that much of the dissatisfaction we experience in marriage comes from expecting too much from it."
"The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. IN a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator."
He quotes 2 Cor. 5:9, "So we make it our goal to please Him" and asks the question, "What makes God Happy?... Will this be pleasing to Christ? The first purpose in marriage--beyond happiness, sexual expression, the bearing of children, companionship, mutual care and provision, or anything else--is to please God. The challenge of course is that it is utterly selfless living; rather than asking 'What will make me happy?' ...we must ask, 'What will make God happy?'"
"Years ago Paul Simon wrote a best-selling song proclaiming 'Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.' A Christian needs just one reason to stay with his or her lover: the analogy of Christ and His church."
"This man or this woman seems so different from you. I know. That's why it seems so difficult to love him or her. When you think one level, she thinks on another. When you're certain this perspective matters most, he brings in another angle entirely. And you ask yourself 'How can I possibly love someone who is so different from me?' And yet consider, if you can ask this question with integrity, try asking yourself this one: How could you possibly love God? He is spirit and you are encased in flesh and bones. He is eternal and you are trapped in time. He is holy, perfect, sinless, and you--like me--are steeped in sin. It is far less a leap for a man to love a woman or for a woman to love a man than it is for either of us to love God. But I think it's more than that. I think marriage is designed to call us out of ourselves to love the 'different.'... We need to be called out of ourselves because, in truth, we are incomplete. God made us to find our fulfillment in Him--the Totally Other."
"Many of the marital problems we face are not problems between individual couples... They are problems between man, generally, and women, generally. They are problems that arise because we are either too lazy or too selfish to get to know our spouse well enough to understand how different from us they really are."
"Sadly I spent the first few years of my marriage adding up the pluses and minuses of my and my wife's various personality traits. The problem was simple: I was spending too much time on my pluses and her minuses... I realized that I was being deluded in my sense of self-righteousness. Instead of focusing on what Lisa could improve I should have been on my knees begging God to change me."
"We're not married in a carefree Garden of Eden. We're married int he midst of many responsibilities that compete for our energy."
"Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over--expectations, or thanksgivings. That choice will result in a birth--and the child will be named either contempt, or respect."
"It is guaranteed that your spouse will sin against you, disappoint you, and have physical limitations that will frustrate and sadden you. He may come home with the best of intentions and still lose his temper. She may have all the desire but none of the energy. This is a fallen world. Let me repeat this: you will never find a spouse who is not affected in some way by the reality of the Fall. If you can't respect this spouse because she is prone to certain weaknesses, you will never be able to respect any spouse."
That's about as far as I've gotten and it's a lot to read, but... oh how God has blessed my heart in reading it. I've had such a heart for couples and marriages and the more I read this book the more I keep saying that I could have written it, but praise be to God... that I didn't write it. Praise be to God that there's a man out there who is speaking at seminars and counseling couples and sharing the reality that so many people need to hear. Praise God for Gary Thomas...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Why Do The Wicked Prosper?
Updates:
By the grace of God I survived last week. My friend Matthew came and though the week wasn't what I'd hoped, Matthew and I made the best of it. It was good to go to the gym together, hang out, watch Left Behind movies, and go witnessing Friday night. My manager is officially gone and therefore I get more hours. I've sent an email to apply for a call center job at an energy company paying about what I'm looking for. I'll do some more job hunting and Lord willing I'll find a job soon and in less than a year I'll have my own place. Trusting God to order my next steps. I've applied for the Young Adult Pastor position at James MacDonald's church in Naperville, IL. I'm still barely in contact with a small Baptist church in NY. I'm also in contact with a rural church in MI which I was referred to, but they may have roots in the Free Will Baptist Denomination. If that's true... they would NOT like me. I'm displaying 2 of the 5 Solas of the Reformation on my hat and computer right now in public as I type!
Why Do The Wicked Prosper?
I've been humbled recently by the reminder of just how human I am, how human we all are. We may think ourselves spiritual, mature, and above certain things, but man... pain, emotions, and circumstances can sure derail our focus on Christ, a sovereign God, and a biblical worldview. Our emotions sometimes help us forget what we know to be true about God and what His Word teaches. As I was out witnessing with Matthew this past Friday night I saw so many couples... as I always do. It's quite the date spot. I began asking myself... why do all these guys (most of whom are likely not saved) get all these beautiful women? Yes, I actually thought that! We're never above those kinds of thoughts, especially in times of weakness. Lately it's been hard as I see parents with their children, husbands with their wives, people living the life I want so much. Lately I feel like if I were to walk through a door into someone else's life with a wife and kids that the transition would be in most respects smooth. It FEELS as if I'm already living that life and am ready to live it, though... it seems God doesn't think it's time yet. But I've wondered, Lord why have you chosen to bless the wicked with these things and yet though you've taught me so much and made me the man I am today, you've yet to bless me with such gifts?
I knew the Psalms had something to say about this idea somewhere so I asked my friend Matthew about it, had he seen anything in Scripture that readily came to mind on this subject? HE said there were times when he felt the same. He pointed me to Psalm 73.
Asaph is the author of the psalm. He says in v.2-3, "But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked." I find rays of hope in his words "almost" and "nearly." He recounts for us a time he struggled and hints to us that hope is on its' way before we even hear the struggle. He saw the prosperity of the wicked and wanted what they had. He continues, "For they have no pangs until death, their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind." By "fat" here he seems to mean "full/having plenty." They seem to have all they need and possibly more than they need. He then shifts to reality and tells us of how they mock God with their lifestyle. He says in v.12-14, "Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches. All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning." Asaph says the wicked are prospering and seemingly with no difficulty and yet he has been faithful to the Lord in His walk and is full of pain.
I can identify with Asaph... as I go about my days I wonder why God has yet to grant me the things He has granted those who don't know Him and further, those who actually mock Him. Asaph expressed a familiar difficulty in v.16 as he says, "But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task." Amen Asaph! To think on these things is a full time job with little progress made. It hurts to wonder why God would bless others and seemingly leave us in the dust... with closed doors, long waiting periods, and so much pain. Asaph tells us now though of his hope and as I share this with whoever is reading I must confess that though truth is presented to us... we may not always FEEL like receiving it. There are times when the hurt is too great, the situation seeming so big, that we hear these things and it doesn't change the pain. So if that's you... if you need perseverance to even be able to start persevering, as I've needed lately. I encourage you not to read with me what Asaph did, but to do with me what Asaph did. It's the only when we can do this that faith is refreshed and our hearts renewed in the Lord.
In v.17-19 he says, "until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors!" Asaph saw that though the wicked seem to be prospering in this life, this life was all they had to look forward to. When we hurt in this life on earth we forget that this is not our home. When we experience pain here, we forget that a day is coming when there will be no tears except tears of joy in the presence of God. Asaph met with the Lord in the sanctuary and was reminded of the sweetness of the presence of God in only a glimpse. But that glimpse pointed toward an eternity. The wicked may enjoy this life, but they will exist longer after death than they will before it. We may struggle in this life, but we won't receive the spiritual death they will, we get spiritual life.
Asaph is reminded of his state before the Lord got ahold of him as he says in v.22, "I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you." We must also remember that while the wicked prosper on earth, they do not prosper inside. They are beasts; monsters of sin clothed in outward prosperity. As I began to think about all these couples Friday night I was reminded that physical appearance is not what it's cracked up to be. You can be beautiful on the outside and yet full of hatred toward God and love for sin on the inside. Lord, how could I forget such obvious truth!? The Lord looks on the heart! The Lord chooses the Davids who are men after God's own heart and rejects the Sauls who stand a head above the rest but lack the things God blesses!
Asaph's final words in Psalm 73 are all we need, "Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."
The Lord is with us. He holds us. He guides us. He brings us up to be with Him when we leave this fleeting life. He strengthens our heart when it's weak. We can only see this though as we take our eyes off the world and off this life and lift them up to heaven. I challenge you as I challenge myself... to be near to God. To be in His presence in song and prayer. It's by doing this that we may take our eyes off this world... the difficulty we're facing and the prosperity we seem to lack, and REMEMBER Who we will be with one day. Thank you God that your Word is living and active and relevant. Thank you for friends who remind us of your character and point us to your word...
By the grace of God I survived last week. My friend Matthew came and though the week wasn't what I'd hoped, Matthew and I made the best of it. It was good to go to the gym together, hang out, watch Left Behind movies, and go witnessing Friday night. My manager is officially gone and therefore I get more hours. I've sent an email to apply for a call center job at an energy company paying about what I'm looking for. I'll do some more job hunting and Lord willing I'll find a job soon and in less than a year I'll have my own place. Trusting God to order my next steps. I've applied for the Young Adult Pastor position at James MacDonald's church in Naperville, IL. I'm still barely in contact with a small Baptist church in NY. I'm also in contact with a rural church in MI which I was referred to, but they may have roots in the Free Will Baptist Denomination. If that's true... they would NOT like me. I'm displaying 2 of the 5 Solas of the Reformation on my hat and computer right now in public as I type!
Why Do The Wicked Prosper?
I've been humbled recently by the reminder of just how human I am, how human we all are. We may think ourselves spiritual, mature, and above certain things, but man... pain, emotions, and circumstances can sure derail our focus on Christ, a sovereign God, and a biblical worldview. Our emotions sometimes help us forget what we know to be true about God and what His Word teaches. As I was out witnessing with Matthew this past Friday night I saw so many couples... as I always do. It's quite the date spot. I began asking myself... why do all these guys (most of whom are likely not saved) get all these beautiful women? Yes, I actually thought that! We're never above those kinds of thoughts, especially in times of weakness. Lately it's been hard as I see parents with their children, husbands with their wives, people living the life I want so much. Lately I feel like if I were to walk through a door into someone else's life with a wife and kids that the transition would be in most respects smooth. It FEELS as if I'm already living that life and am ready to live it, though... it seems God doesn't think it's time yet. But I've wondered, Lord why have you chosen to bless the wicked with these things and yet though you've taught me so much and made me the man I am today, you've yet to bless me with such gifts?
I knew the Psalms had something to say about this idea somewhere so I asked my friend Matthew about it, had he seen anything in Scripture that readily came to mind on this subject? HE said there were times when he felt the same. He pointed me to Psalm 73.
Asaph is the author of the psalm. He says in v.2-3, "But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked." I find rays of hope in his words "almost" and "nearly." He recounts for us a time he struggled and hints to us that hope is on its' way before we even hear the struggle. He saw the prosperity of the wicked and wanted what they had. He continues, "For they have no pangs until death, their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind." By "fat" here he seems to mean "full/having plenty." They seem to have all they need and possibly more than they need. He then shifts to reality and tells us of how they mock God with their lifestyle. He says in v.12-14, "Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches. All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning." Asaph says the wicked are prospering and seemingly with no difficulty and yet he has been faithful to the Lord in His walk and is full of pain.
I can identify with Asaph... as I go about my days I wonder why God has yet to grant me the things He has granted those who don't know Him and further, those who actually mock Him. Asaph expressed a familiar difficulty in v.16 as he says, "But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task." Amen Asaph! To think on these things is a full time job with little progress made. It hurts to wonder why God would bless others and seemingly leave us in the dust... with closed doors, long waiting periods, and so much pain. Asaph tells us now though of his hope and as I share this with whoever is reading I must confess that though truth is presented to us... we may not always FEEL like receiving it. There are times when the hurt is too great, the situation seeming so big, that we hear these things and it doesn't change the pain. So if that's you... if you need perseverance to even be able to start persevering, as I've needed lately. I encourage you not to read with me what Asaph did, but to do with me what Asaph did. It's the only when we can do this that faith is refreshed and our hearts renewed in the Lord.
In v.17-19 he says, "until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end. Truly you set them in slippery places; you make them fall to ruin. How they are destroyed in a moment, swept away utterly by terrors!" Asaph saw that though the wicked seem to be prospering in this life, this life was all they had to look forward to. When we hurt in this life on earth we forget that this is not our home. When we experience pain here, we forget that a day is coming when there will be no tears except tears of joy in the presence of God. Asaph met with the Lord in the sanctuary and was reminded of the sweetness of the presence of God in only a glimpse. But that glimpse pointed toward an eternity. The wicked may enjoy this life, but they will exist longer after death than they will before it. We may struggle in this life, but we won't receive the spiritual death they will, we get spiritual life.
Asaph is reminded of his state before the Lord got ahold of him as he says in v.22, "I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you." We must also remember that while the wicked prosper on earth, they do not prosper inside. They are beasts; monsters of sin clothed in outward prosperity. As I began to think about all these couples Friday night I was reminded that physical appearance is not what it's cracked up to be. You can be beautiful on the outside and yet full of hatred toward God and love for sin on the inside. Lord, how could I forget such obvious truth!? The Lord looks on the heart! The Lord chooses the Davids who are men after God's own heart and rejects the Sauls who stand a head above the rest but lack the things God blesses!
Asaph's final words in Psalm 73 are all we need, "Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."
The Lord is with us. He holds us. He guides us. He brings us up to be with Him when we leave this fleeting life. He strengthens our heart when it's weak. We can only see this though as we take our eyes off the world and off this life and lift them up to heaven. I challenge you as I challenge myself... to be near to God. To be in His presence in song and prayer. It's by doing this that we may take our eyes off this world... the difficulty we're facing and the prosperity we seem to lack, and REMEMBER Who we will be with one day. Thank you God that your Word is living and active and relevant. Thank you for friends who remind us of your character and point us to your word...
Friday, August 12, 2011
Arthur W. Pink: Biography and Thoughts
I've been spending my nights lately catching up on my reading. I really enjoy reading, but haven't made the time. The TV is a great distraction. For the longest time I've been reading through the biography titled "Arthur W. Pink: Born To Write" By Richard Belcher. I've heard that biographies on this man are hard to come by. I myself have waited a couple years for one to come available on Amazon. This is by no means a comprehensive analysis of Pink. I've only read this one biography alongside a few of Pink's tracts and quotes. I'm not an expert. His book The Sovereignty of God still sits on my shelf unread. But at least it got to my shelf, right? I'll get to it eventually.
I think I was first really turned on to Pink reading his tract "Saving Faith." In it he says that someone calling himself a believer means nothing if this "belief" isn't reflected in his life. He says, "is it not evident that as a fountain is known by the waters which issue from it, so the nature of your faith may be ascertained by what it is bringing forth?" He also says, "Saving faith necessarily involved the renouncing of our own sinful, "lordship", the throwing down of the weapons of our warfare against Him, and the submitting to His yoke and rule. And before any sinful rebel is brought to that place, a miracle of grace has to be wrought within him." Most people credit the philosophy called "Lordship Salvation" to John MacArthur, but Pink was teaching it back in the early 1900's... after Jesus and the Apostle Paul in Romans of course :).
Pink and his wife put together a magazine in the early 1900's called Studies in The Scriptures. His writings are what he's most known for. Pink was a kind of prophet in his day. I don't mean this in the foretelling sense, but in the heart and influence of a prophet. Prophets in Scripture are usually a nuisance. 2 Chron. 18:6-7 says, "But Jehoshaphat said, “Is there not yet a prophet of the LORD here that we may inquire of him?” 7 The king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, “There is yet one man by whom we may inquire of the LORD, but I hate him, for he never prophesies good concerning me but always evil. He is Micaiah, son of Imla.” The story tells that the king of Israel assembled prophets... and all of them gave him good news. But the king thought they might just be telling him what he wanted to hear so he sent for Micaiah. The king knew he'd get a straight answer from the unbiased prophet but it may not be the answer he wanted... and it certainly wasn't. A prophet is one who stands out among the crowd and is willing to speak the truth in the face of opposition, possible ruffled feathers, and even death. A prophet is loud on the things that are wrong to shake people from their complacency and couch potato "go with the flow" lifestyles. God uses them I believe to be the shakers and movers in our society. The things Pink often wrote and the boldness he displayed... I believe places him in the category of a prophet. Interestingly enough, his biography says he knew this about himself. I must admit I've thought the same about myself personally at times. Is this pride? It could be... humility and calling are often in need of balance.
I also identify with Pink in that he was an introvert. Now, as I read it occurs to me that Pink was much more one than I. It's said in his later years that he put aside his efforts for public or pastoral ministry and focused solely on his writing. He even informed his subscribers that he would not see visitors at his home anymore. It's interesting to me that as I've studied introverts (informally mind you) they tend to be so deep and firm in their convictions. Often the best way for them to vent or release themselves is in a format where response or interaction isn't encouraged. They are vocal as they write or as they speak and preach publicly but in person they look at the floor and have trouble knowing what to do with their hands. I'm reminded of Dr. Tony Evans who preaches with such passion and conviction and yet has asked people not to approach him in person after the sermon because he's an introvert. Before salvation it's said Pink was a member of an unbiblical kind of cult called The Theosophy Society. He actually rose to leadership in this cult and spoke often at their meetings. A day came when his father quoted Proverbs 14:12 to him evangelistically, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof is the way of death." This verse sent him into isolation in his room for the rest of the week without food. In that room the Lord got ahold of his heart and saved him. He left that Friday night to walk into the Theosophy meeting to speak... and he preached the gospel to that cult. I love that! He had no trouble making the truth known.
The book doesn't reveal much about the relationship between Pink and his wife before marriage and how it all came together. But I was encouraged by her. She supported him in all his endeavors as best the book could tell. They moved all over the world... back and forth in and out of the U.S., England, Scotland. She helped him in publication of his magazine and even finished up what was left after his death just as he asked her to.
The author titles the book "Born to Write." He does this because he believes Pink's true calling was to write and he shows that Pink himself eventually came to this conclusion himself. Pink tried often to maintain public ministry. He pastored several churches. One organization kicked him out because they thought he was too Arminian and another because they thought he was too Calvinistic. He tried holding a small group or so outside of the local church but attendance dwindled. He once had a thriving conference speaking ministry (which is also preferred by introverts... you can say what you feel needs to be said and get on an airplane to let someone else handle the aftermath.) But all of it kept failing. He often expressed continued discouragement in the fact that nothing seemed to be working out for him in ministry. Even his magazine suffered a decline in readers as they sometimes would drop 100-200 names from the list in a given year. Arthur, I'm young but I feel ya there in a way. There was often still a ray of hope in Pink as he often kept trying to serve God's people in person. It seemed however that God knew his impact would primarily be to that flock around the world who received his magazine and the Bible teaching he believed his age of Christianity so desperately needed.
Also as I read however, I was pleased the author didn't gloss over Pink's faults much. The only time I thought he might have been was when the author spoke of his formal Bible training. I was surprised to hear that Pink actually attended Moody Bible Institute. It was only for part of a summer session however. The author believes he may have left Moody because he was self-taught and possibly because his individualistic spirit resisted authority (surely someone like this is the making of an itinerant minister). The author spends much time quoting Pink and describing his thorough discipline of reading and Bible study. It's not entirely clear in the end why Pink left, but Pink does say, "One does not have to enter a seminary or Bible Institute and take a course in Christian Apologetics in order to obtain assurance that the Bible is inspired, or in order to learn how to interpret it." Having been to Bible college and to Moody specifically, though some things I did already know walking in... there is much that I learned, much that guarded me from mishandling such sacred Words of God and from misleading the people of God. If Pink really did leave Moody because he was confident in his own ability without the benefit of the study of others, he set himself up for potential problems in teaching and preaching. This would have certainly been a decision of conceit and pride and in this we must be honest.
It's also worth noting that in his later years Pink actually grew to a point where he told his readers to leave their churches. His boldness turned to tactless criticism. He grew increasingly weary of the state of the local church in the world at his time. I wonder what he'd think about churches today doing things like having dirt bike riders jump ramps behind the pastor as he preaches and other antics. Pink would even reject speaking engagements at many churches because for one reason or another he felt they were wrong. The author says, "Though he knew absolutely nothing about the church, he declined the invitation, as he concluded that it was probably no better or worse than thousands of others." He eventually said this about local churches, "Far better to worship Him Scripturally in the seclusion of our own homes, than fellowship the abominable mockery that is now going on in almost all the so-called 'churches'." On Heb. 10:25 he says, "[This verse] is very far from meaning the sheep of Christ should attend a place where the goats predominate, or where their presence would sanction what is dishonoring to their Master." On this issue I'm reminded of a man I used to go witnessing with. Our little group of evangelists were the only family of God he had. It was as if we were the remnant of what was left of biblical Christianity in his eyes. He often talked of how corrupt the church was today. He would tell me of how he repeatedly listened to certain sermons over and over again because the preachers who spoke the truth were so rare. I was myself searching for a church at the time and would pass the info of churches I'd visited onto him to check out, though I think my recommendations fell on deaf ears. He lost hope in the local church. He displayed an attitude that was really identical to Pink.
This is common today too. We tend to often think our own church is one of the few is not the only biblical church left on the planet. I agree that solid meaty Bible teaching is rare these days. I agree that gimmicks and pop culture are driving so many churches. I also agree that a day may come when the only option is to form house churches, but I don't think we're there yet. To be there is to be under government oppression. Some countries are already there... worshiping and fellowshiping in secret. Pink, my friend, and the rest of us need to recognize that the local church is full of people... and people are NUTS. They don't know what to think, feel, how to live, what to believe, etc. They are sheep and sheep don't need to be abandoned by capable shepherds... they need to be led by them. A capable shepherd endures the problems of people and comes alongside them as Christ would. beyond this, we must be careful how we talk about the "church." The church is not a group of people who enter a building. The church is those who are God's real children. The church itself has problems and yet they beloved of a God who does not abandon them, but disciplines, guides, and loves them. Should we not imitate our Lord and do the same?
Pink's last words were "The Scriptures explain themselves."
AS I look on the life of A.W. Pink as given to me by this one biographer, I am encouraged in so many ways. I'm encouraged that this man with the heart of a prophet had a ministry that outlasted him and still lives today bringing the bold conviction in our day that was also needed in his. I'm encouraged by his wife who stood by him and uprooted herself so many times to go wherever her husband believed God was leading them. She trusted him. I'm encouraged that an introvert was so used of God and though he was an introvert he did not die a lonely man, for he not only had his wife but he had his Lord. In his final days he spent much of his time in great joy that he would soon be with God and also spent his time encouraging his wife to trust God as she also knew his time was coming soon. When the Lord grants me a wife... if He would have me to come home before she, I would hope my time could also be spent in expectation of seeing His face and encouraging my wife to trust Him as I left her. I live under the conviction that a godly husband must be willing and able to be strong for himself and his wife in hard times. May no woman marry a man who cannot be this. I look at Pink's ministry and I wonder what God has for me. I honestly can't say I'd be content writing for the rest of my life. I GREATLY enjoy writing and don't do it often enough, but I love people so much. There is a part of me that if I were made to choose... I'd prefer 1-2-1 discipleship ministry over public preaching and writing. There's equally another part of me which LOVES to see the people of God grow and to be part of that. Perhaps the Lord will open and close doors to direct my path in a way other than I hope or would expect.. as he did with Pink. Though today I often look up at Him in tears waiting for my time to come, I'm excited that I know He would not have saved me, this man who was a God-hating Atheist... He would not have brought me to Bible college and helped me to graduate debt free... He would not have given me the joy of seeing His people grow and be blessed by my ministry... without having plans for me.
Lord, where are You taking me? How and when are you taking me? Sigh. My birthday is coming soon God. I have a few gifts in mind. Are you ready to give them? Am I ready to receive them? Are the gifts in my mind different than the ones in Yours? If so... so be it. I praise You now and I praise You then. Not my will be done, but Yours.
I think I was first really turned on to Pink reading his tract "Saving Faith." In it he says that someone calling himself a believer means nothing if this "belief" isn't reflected in his life. He says, "is it not evident that as a fountain is known by the waters which issue from it, so the nature of your faith may be ascertained by what it is bringing forth?" He also says, "Saving faith necessarily involved the renouncing of our own sinful, "lordship", the throwing down of the weapons of our warfare against Him, and the submitting to His yoke and rule. And before any sinful rebel is brought to that place, a miracle of grace has to be wrought within him." Most people credit the philosophy called "Lordship Salvation" to John MacArthur, but Pink was teaching it back in the early 1900's... after Jesus and the Apostle Paul in Romans of course :).
Pink and his wife put together a magazine in the early 1900's called Studies in The Scriptures. His writings are what he's most known for. Pink was a kind of prophet in his day. I don't mean this in the foretelling sense, but in the heart and influence of a prophet. Prophets in Scripture are usually a nuisance. 2 Chron. 18:6-7 says, "But Jehoshaphat said, “Is there not yet a prophet of the LORD here that we may inquire of him?” 7 The king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, “There is yet one man by whom we may inquire of the LORD, but I hate him, for he never prophesies good concerning me but always evil. He is Micaiah, son of Imla.” The story tells that the king of Israel assembled prophets... and all of them gave him good news. But the king thought they might just be telling him what he wanted to hear so he sent for Micaiah. The king knew he'd get a straight answer from the unbiased prophet but it may not be the answer he wanted... and it certainly wasn't. A prophet is one who stands out among the crowd and is willing to speak the truth in the face of opposition, possible ruffled feathers, and even death. A prophet is loud on the things that are wrong to shake people from their complacency and couch potato "go with the flow" lifestyles. God uses them I believe to be the shakers and movers in our society. The things Pink often wrote and the boldness he displayed... I believe places him in the category of a prophet. Interestingly enough, his biography says he knew this about himself. I must admit I've thought the same about myself personally at times. Is this pride? It could be... humility and calling are often in need of balance.
I also identify with Pink in that he was an introvert. Now, as I read it occurs to me that Pink was much more one than I. It's said in his later years that he put aside his efforts for public or pastoral ministry and focused solely on his writing. He even informed his subscribers that he would not see visitors at his home anymore. It's interesting to me that as I've studied introverts (informally mind you) they tend to be so deep and firm in their convictions. Often the best way for them to vent or release themselves is in a format where response or interaction isn't encouraged. They are vocal as they write or as they speak and preach publicly but in person they look at the floor and have trouble knowing what to do with their hands. I'm reminded of Dr. Tony Evans who preaches with such passion and conviction and yet has asked people not to approach him in person after the sermon because he's an introvert. Before salvation it's said Pink was a member of an unbiblical kind of cult called The Theosophy Society. He actually rose to leadership in this cult and spoke often at their meetings. A day came when his father quoted Proverbs 14:12 to him evangelistically, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but the end thereof is the way of death." This verse sent him into isolation in his room for the rest of the week without food. In that room the Lord got ahold of his heart and saved him. He left that Friday night to walk into the Theosophy meeting to speak... and he preached the gospel to that cult. I love that! He had no trouble making the truth known.
The book doesn't reveal much about the relationship between Pink and his wife before marriage and how it all came together. But I was encouraged by her. She supported him in all his endeavors as best the book could tell. They moved all over the world... back and forth in and out of the U.S., England, Scotland. She helped him in publication of his magazine and even finished up what was left after his death just as he asked her to.
The author titles the book "Born to Write." He does this because he believes Pink's true calling was to write and he shows that Pink himself eventually came to this conclusion himself. Pink tried often to maintain public ministry. He pastored several churches. One organization kicked him out because they thought he was too Arminian and another because they thought he was too Calvinistic. He tried holding a small group or so outside of the local church but attendance dwindled. He once had a thriving conference speaking ministry (which is also preferred by introverts... you can say what you feel needs to be said and get on an airplane to let someone else handle the aftermath.) But all of it kept failing. He often expressed continued discouragement in the fact that nothing seemed to be working out for him in ministry. Even his magazine suffered a decline in readers as they sometimes would drop 100-200 names from the list in a given year. Arthur, I'm young but I feel ya there in a way. There was often still a ray of hope in Pink as he often kept trying to serve God's people in person. It seemed however that God knew his impact would primarily be to that flock around the world who received his magazine and the Bible teaching he believed his age of Christianity so desperately needed.
Also as I read however, I was pleased the author didn't gloss over Pink's faults much. The only time I thought he might have been was when the author spoke of his formal Bible training. I was surprised to hear that Pink actually attended Moody Bible Institute. It was only for part of a summer session however. The author believes he may have left Moody because he was self-taught and possibly because his individualistic spirit resisted authority (surely someone like this is the making of an itinerant minister). The author spends much time quoting Pink and describing his thorough discipline of reading and Bible study. It's not entirely clear in the end why Pink left, but Pink does say, "One does not have to enter a seminary or Bible Institute and take a course in Christian Apologetics in order to obtain assurance that the Bible is inspired, or in order to learn how to interpret it." Having been to Bible college and to Moody specifically, though some things I did already know walking in... there is much that I learned, much that guarded me from mishandling such sacred Words of God and from misleading the people of God. If Pink really did leave Moody because he was confident in his own ability without the benefit of the study of others, he set himself up for potential problems in teaching and preaching. This would have certainly been a decision of conceit and pride and in this we must be honest.
It's also worth noting that in his later years Pink actually grew to a point where he told his readers to leave their churches. His boldness turned to tactless criticism. He grew increasingly weary of the state of the local church in the world at his time. I wonder what he'd think about churches today doing things like having dirt bike riders jump ramps behind the pastor as he preaches and other antics. Pink would even reject speaking engagements at many churches because for one reason or another he felt they were wrong. The author says, "Though he knew absolutely nothing about the church, he declined the invitation, as he concluded that it was probably no better or worse than thousands of others." He eventually said this about local churches, "Far better to worship Him Scripturally in the seclusion of our own homes, than fellowship the abominable mockery that is now going on in almost all the so-called 'churches'." On Heb. 10:25 he says, "[This verse] is very far from meaning the sheep of Christ should attend a place where the goats predominate, or where their presence would sanction what is dishonoring to their Master." On this issue I'm reminded of a man I used to go witnessing with. Our little group of evangelists were the only family of God he had. It was as if we were the remnant of what was left of biblical Christianity in his eyes. He often talked of how corrupt the church was today. He would tell me of how he repeatedly listened to certain sermons over and over again because the preachers who spoke the truth were so rare. I was myself searching for a church at the time and would pass the info of churches I'd visited onto him to check out, though I think my recommendations fell on deaf ears. He lost hope in the local church. He displayed an attitude that was really identical to Pink.
This is common today too. We tend to often think our own church is one of the few is not the only biblical church left on the planet. I agree that solid meaty Bible teaching is rare these days. I agree that gimmicks and pop culture are driving so many churches. I also agree that a day may come when the only option is to form house churches, but I don't think we're there yet. To be there is to be under government oppression. Some countries are already there... worshiping and fellowshiping in secret. Pink, my friend, and the rest of us need to recognize that the local church is full of people... and people are NUTS. They don't know what to think, feel, how to live, what to believe, etc. They are sheep and sheep don't need to be abandoned by capable shepherds... they need to be led by them. A capable shepherd endures the problems of people and comes alongside them as Christ would. beyond this, we must be careful how we talk about the "church." The church is not a group of people who enter a building. The church is those who are God's real children. The church itself has problems and yet they beloved of a God who does not abandon them, but disciplines, guides, and loves them. Should we not imitate our Lord and do the same?
Pink's last words were "The Scriptures explain themselves."
AS I look on the life of A.W. Pink as given to me by this one biographer, I am encouraged in so many ways. I'm encouraged that this man with the heart of a prophet had a ministry that outlasted him and still lives today bringing the bold conviction in our day that was also needed in his. I'm encouraged by his wife who stood by him and uprooted herself so many times to go wherever her husband believed God was leading them. She trusted him. I'm encouraged that an introvert was so used of God and though he was an introvert he did not die a lonely man, for he not only had his wife but he had his Lord. In his final days he spent much of his time in great joy that he would soon be with God and also spent his time encouraging his wife to trust God as she also knew his time was coming soon. When the Lord grants me a wife... if He would have me to come home before she, I would hope my time could also be spent in expectation of seeing His face and encouraging my wife to trust Him as I left her. I live under the conviction that a godly husband must be willing and able to be strong for himself and his wife in hard times. May no woman marry a man who cannot be this. I look at Pink's ministry and I wonder what God has for me. I honestly can't say I'd be content writing for the rest of my life. I GREATLY enjoy writing and don't do it often enough, but I love people so much. There is a part of me that if I were made to choose... I'd prefer 1-2-1 discipleship ministry over public preaching and writing. There's equally another part of me which LOVES to see the people of God grow and to be part of that. Perhaps the Lord will open and close doors to direct my path in a way other than I hope or would expect.. as he did with Pink. Though today I often look up at Him in tears waiting for my time to come, I'm excited that I know He would not have saved me, this man who was a God-hating Atheist... He would not have brought me to Bible college and helped me to graduate debt free... He would not have given me the joy of seeing His people grow and be blessed by my ministry... without having plans for me.
Lord, where are You taking me? How and when are you taking me? Sigh. My birthday is coming soon God. I have a few gifts in mind. Are you ready to give them? Am I ready to receive them? Are the gifts in my mind different than the ones in Yours? If so... so be it. I praise You now and I praise You then. Not my will be done, but Yours.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
The hardest part is not knowing… some would argue. But not knowing combined with but closed doors is much harder. I’ve had such mixed emotions lately… some of them more human than biblical. I feel like hope has been drained from me. A friend said I have hope in Jesus Christ, but clichés and truths I know perhaps too well aren’t much help to me lately. I have nothing tangible in front of me to cling to. Maybe I’m walking by sight and not by faith. I’ve spent hours searching for the church where God would have me to serve. Yet… I continue to be shut down. Another candidate seems to always be more qualified or a “better fit” or more what they’re looking for. Is it because I'm young, unmarried, and too far away geographically? Probably to some degree. Lord, if only you would have started your ministry in your 20's... THEN I'd have something to point to in Scripture!!! lol A friend is urging me to look more in Texas (there's a fairly large Baptist Church nearby that just lost their pastor to an unexpected death), but… I still don’t want to be in this state. Maybe God’s plan is different than mine. I was really looking forward to New York and more of a country life. A part of me missed it while I was there. It felt like I’d been in a cage for the longest time and was able to experience freedom for a few days. It reminded me of my days living near Azle, TX in 5th grade. Well, maybe that’s not His plan either. Maybe. I got to preach at church this past Sunday and many people seemed to benefit and thanked me afterward. In fact I got an email from a woman at church just today that said in part, "I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed, was taught, and edified by your message on Sunday. You are obviously gifted in the area of teaching. Your timing and enunciation were excellent and I noticed that everyone paid very close attention to you."
God, if I’m doing something right… why am I still not allowed to pursue what you’ve called me to? I just don’t understand. I know who I am in Christ and where God has brought me. A friend who lives nearby has often reminded me of who I used to be. We grew up together. He saw the way I was raised and the way I rebelled against God with my lifestyle. Maybe I’ve forgotten. It’s encouraging in a way… but discouraging also. God, if you’ve made me this man I am… why am I not allowed yet to be that man for the purpose which you’ve made me? The only conclusion I see is that while I feel ready… Maybe God’s not. Maybe He’s still got lessons for me to learn before the time comes. Or maybe He’s still preparing the people and the place for me to serve. Maybe they’re not ready yet. Maybe… my wife is also not ready yet so God hasn’t sent her to me. I’m sick and tired of “maybe.”
I still find myself checking my phone for her text messages when I wake up, when I lay down, throughout the day, at work. But… it’s always followed by the reminder that I won’t be getting a text message, not like before. It’s not easy you know? Since graduation I’ve received 4 or 5 wedding invitations from friends I went to college with... all of them younger than me. I’ve seen wedding photos on facebook, statuses, updates, engagements, honeymoon plans, rings. I still look up with tears. God, I want to do it right but I don’t know how many more times I can go through “a process to see if.” So many people have tried their hand at consolation lately. Their motives are good, but their help is sadly not helpful. To say it will never work out, that it’s over, that it’s done… is just as presumptuous as for me to say it will work out, to hold out hope, to continue pursuing, to presume a future that may never happen. It never ceases to amaze me the number of opinions people have. There are always stories of how God has worked that line up with those opinions and stories that run completely contrary to those opinions. I find myself frustrated at how quickly God is forgotten in all the speculation. It’s not ultimately a matter of what should or shouldn’t be done, but rather… it’s a matter of what God wants done. His opinions win the day. The unknown element in all the stories, all the perspectives, all the philosophies, all the books written, all the preferences and strategies… is God Himself. Yet so few are those who will say the answer isn’t in giving up or holding on. The answer is in trusting God, thanking God for what He’s now doing though we don’t understand it, singing praise to Him Who’s ways are not our ways. The answer is the sovereign One who orders our steps, who steers and directs, who opens and closes doors, who pushes play and stop and even pause, who tells the hands of the clock when to move. HE is the answer. To focus on Him and to be with Him is the hope we’ve had since the beginning and the hope we’ll have despite what our life “plans” look like. The answer is to point ourselves to the Lord and let all else fade away.
Though I hurt He has granted me a unique strength at this time, a faithful reminder that I only really need Him, I’ve only ever needed Him. So I take a deep breath and press on toward what it’s in front of me. I spent much time in prayer recently about what steps I’ll take. The church in IN seems to be a closed door. Soon I will begin looking for secular work here in TX that can allow me move out and begin a life of my own. All I’m getting are closed doors and until one opens I need to just move forward and see where God takes me. And as to romance? I still need to heal. I'm not in a place to pursue anyone right now. If someone comes along and I think God may be doing it, I'll deal with that then. As for now, I need time.
“Sigh, Lord God I know your plans are best, but what are your plans??!! Only You know. Lord help me to persevere in You. Even perseverance is increasingly tiresome God. I’m so weary. Lord, help me trust You in the unknown. Help me to take steps of faith because that’s often where You are. Lord, just help me…”
God, if I’m doing something right… why am I still not allowed to pursue what you’ve called me to? I just don’t understand. I know who I am in Christ and where God has brought me. A friend who lives nearby has often reminded me of who I used to be. We grew up together. He saw the way I was raised and the way I rebelled against God with my lifestyle. Maybe I’ve forgotten. It’s encouraging in a way… but discouraging also. God, if you’ve made me this man I am… why am I not allowed yet to be that man for the purpose which you’ve made me? The only conclusion I see is that while I feel ready… Maybe God’s not. Maybe He’s still got lessons for me to learn before the time comes. Or maybe He’s still preparing the people and the place for me to serve. Maybe they’re not ready yet. Maybe… my wife is also not ready yet so God hasn’t sent her to me. I’m sick and tired of “maybe.”
I still find myself checking my phone for her text messages when I wake up, when I lay down, throughout the day, at work. But… it’s always followed by the reminder that I won’t be getting a text message, not like before. It’s not easy you know? Since graduation I’ve received 4 or 5 wedding invitations from friends I went to college with... all of them younger than me. I’ve seen wedding photos on facebook, statuses, updates, engagements, honeymoon plans, rings. I still look up with tears. God, I want to do it right but I don’t know how many more times I can go through “a process to see if.” So many people have tried their hand at consolation lately. Their motives are good, but their help is sadly not helpful. To say it will never work out, that it’s over, that it’s done… is just as presumptuous as for me to say it will work out, to hold out hope, to continue pursuing, to presume a future that may never happen. It never ceases to amaze me the number of opinions people have. There are always stories of how God has worked that line up with those opinions and stories that run completely contrary to those opinions. I find myself frustrated at how quickly God is forgotten in all the speculation. It’s not ultimately a matter of what should or shouldn’t be done, but rather… it’s a matter of what God wants done. His opinions win the day. The unknown element in all the stories, all the perspectives, all the philosophies, all the books written, all the preferences and strategies… is God Himself. Yet so few are those who will say the answer isn’t in giving up or holding on. The answer is in trusting God, thanking God for what He’s now doing though we don’t understand it, singing praise to Him Who’s ways are not our ways. The answer is the sovereign One who orders our steps, who steers and directs, who opens and closes doors, who pushes play and stop and even pause, who tells the hands of the clock when to move. HE is the answer. To focus on Him and to be with Him is the hope we’ve had since the beginning and the hope we’ll have despite what our life “plans” look like. The answer is to point ourselves to the Lord and let all else fade away.
Though I hurt He has granted me a unique strength at this time, a faithful reminder that I only really need Him, I’ve only ever needed Him. So I take a deep breath and press on toward what it’s in front of me. I spent much time in prayer recently about what steps I’ll take. The church in IN seems to be a closed door. Soon I will begin looking for secular work here in TX that can allow me move out and begin a life of my own. All I’m getting are closed doors and until one opens I need to just move forward and see where God takes me. And as to romance? I still need to heal. I'm not in a place to pursue anyone right now. If someone comes along and I think God may be doing it, I'll deal with that then. As for now, I need time.
“Sigh, Lord God I know your plans are best, but what are your plans??!! Only You know. Lord help me to persevere in You. Even perseverance is increasingly tiresome God. I’m so weary. Lord, help me trust You in the unknown. Help me to take steps of faith because that’s often where You are. Lord, just help me…”
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